Hi, I’m Pam’s inner brat. I’m nine and a half, goin’ on ten. I call Pam my mom, but she’s, like, not really my mom, ‘cause I’m not a real person, just a part of her that loves to play and have fun even though it’s caused some big problems. Pam named me Nelly after a really, naughty brat on some real old TV show called Little House on the Prairie. I don’t think I’m as bad as that Nelly.

Now that you’ve been caught, I know how you feel. It’s scary at first. It was in the middle of the night when my mom found me on accident. We were both scared that night. You know when your mom is worried, you don’t feel good either.

That night it was all about money. That’s why we were up. So, Mom was supposed to write a book about organizing money and ‘cause we had been using those pretty credit cards too much (she says for stupid stuff we didn’t need), she bawled her head off and said she couldn’t write the book. It’s ‘cause she caught me that she could write the book.

I’m just spose to tell you not to be upset or afraid. Everything is gonna be all right.

You’re gonna get a lot of attention from now on ‘cause your mom is gonna learn how to play with you. My mom will teach your mom how important you are and you’ll get to do fun things you never would get to do if you stayed secret. Secrets aren’t good. When you sneak around and be naughty when you know she’s hungry, tired, thirsty or you know, mad and cranky you miss getting to play with her when she’s happy with you. From now on you won’t have to be bratty to get her attention. That’s the only reason you’ve ever gotten her in trouble, it’s just to get attention. That’s all.

So, just, like, you know, be happy and like cooperate with the new rules that you will be getting. My mom is really smart ‘cause she knows that if we don’t have fun we aren’t gonna be nice. She goes: “If it isn’t fun, it won’t get done.” I go, “yippee skippee.”

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