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Happy 2009! Just my usual reminder, D D & D tonight. ( If you cant figure out the three Ds, scroll down.) Dont drink and drive.

If we agree in love, there is no disagreement that can do us any injury, but if we do not, no other agreement can do us any good. Hosea Ballou

Do not allow anyone to cause you to doubt your ability to succeed. Ernest Holmes Testimonial below: Hi Pam! I called you last week when I couldnt figure out how to get your GOOD Book in pdf format. I am in Minnesota, and we talked about being snowed in. I LOVE your book. I made Purdy ( my inner child who has gotten us into this predicament) sit still while I verified all the credit card debt, with balances, interest rates, and monthly payments. Sheesh! I never knew what we actually owed, or what the interest rates were. Financially clueless? Yep. I called the credit card companies, as you suggested, and got the interest lowered on 3 of the cards, a total of 14 percentage points total! Another said to call in January and they would lower it then! I canceled one card that was uncooperative. I also got them all put in order of what gets paid off first. It is so liberating! In this same spirit, I braved our mortgage officer at the credit union ( something I have been postponing for months) and had him start the process of re-structuring our mortgage to lower the interest and payments. Yay! He figures we should save more than $500 a month!!! When we were at the grocery store, I made sure to be mindful of what I was buying, and saved more than $50. Purdy wasnt very happy, so I told her she could work on a quilt for a while when we got home, instead of cleaning a closet. She was content with that, and the closet will still be there when I get around to it later. This purchase has MORE than paid for itself in the first week Ive had it. Thank you so much! Cathy Dear Friends, I love receiving feedback from those of you who are applying the ideas I suggest in my new book! What makes my book so different from any financial self-help books today is that I not only give you tools and ideas for getting out of debt, but I also teach you how to deal with a part of yourself that got you into the mess in the first place. It has been four years that I have been debt-free and reading letters like Cathy’s brings back wonderful memories of my journey out of debt. If I had not been in debt I would not have met, learned to love and guide my inner child whom I endearingly call Nelly. I remember being clueless ( just like Cathy) about what I owed the credit card companies, but what I remember as being the most astonishing was realizing I could have FUN with a budget, FUN being frugal, FUN dancing and singing on my "savings day" and the ecstasy I felt with the death of each credit card as it shrunk into oblivion! The hardest part of getting out of debt was facing it and pulling the veil off the scope of damage so I could deal with it as the mature adult I knew I could be. You are not alone, and I’m here to tell you there is nothing to be afraid of and once you face the fear of not knowing the truth you are free to use your creativity, your love and your joy in the financial area of your life. The GOOD Book:Get Out Of Debt will remain at $9.95 for either the audio book or the printable version ( pdf) and $15.95 for both until Midnight December 31, when the price will go to $12.95 for either book and $18.95 for both together. Thank you to all of you who receive my daily surprise and are so kind and loving when you email me your love and appreciation. Pam To get the GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt Book just use this link. http://budurl.com/YTTheGOODBook

Thought plus action equals success. Be sure your rascal is included in your plans or you will be dealing with her under-the-radar activities.

This day is no less magic than yesterday. Keep having fun, loving what you do and knowing all is well. Did you know all is well whether you know it or not? It is.

Merry Christmas! Heaven is right here in the midst of you. Luke: 17:21 When the time comes that nothing goes forth from you other than that which you would be gald to have retun, then you will have reached your heaven. Ernest Holmes

Merry Christmas Eve. Now if your name is Eve, then add another Eve to that first sentence because its not Christmas yet. If your name isnt Eve please accept my joyous wish that you have a sparkling day filled with peace and love and good friends and family. Pam & Nelly

Let peace begin with me.

Dear Pam, I just wanted to write and let you know of a surprising reaction to your voice as I listened to you read the introduction to your GOOD book. As soon as my 4 year old ds heard your voice, he said, "Ive got to pick up my toys and make my bed"! He dashed down the hall and cleaned up his room in about two minutes. I was still sitting there with my mouth hanging open over his reaction to hearing you and he was back. He did a pretty good job for a little guy. He and his 5 year old dear sister love to listen to your CD - especially "Oops, Mr. Toots". I havent implemented everything in your program yet, but my little ones still want to help with their rooms just by hearing your voice. Ever since I first started playing those special songs, theyve been hooked. Thank you so much for taking the burden off my shoulders and being the one to motivate them. Flybaby Skidunki in Oklahoma Pam here: Wow! What can I say? I wish my voice had had that effect on my own children when I was raising them! I loved recording my new book and have been getting some very exciting stories about how it is helping with spending and especially this time of year. I sure didn’t expect to help folks with their finances AND motivate their children to clean their rooms all at the same time! But if it works I’m thrilled. To get The GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt ( audio or pdf) here is the link. http://budurl.com/YTTheGOODBook

Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest. Beatrix Potter

Today’s Brat factor made Darla want me to write to you. Two days ago I got your GOOD book audio and pdf. Ive been working through and digesting the pdf and, oh dear, I finally get the brat thing ( and Ive been getting your emails for quite some time). Heres the interesting thing...Susie ( adult me) likes the pdf, I can read it fast, ya know, get it done? Darla ( like the little girl in the Our Gang skits) my inner brat LOVES to be read to, so the audio is great. Shell sit and listen, rapt attention, because she likes to hear your voice reading to her. Now, I didnt know this about myself. That part of me likes to slow down and be read to. I always thought audio books were cheat-reading. A real eye opener here. I went for groceries yesterday and Darla was pretty quiet the whole time, thinking about being read to some more, from your audio GOOD book. I saved lots of money. Darla used to get almost all of the groceries for me. I never knew that, ‘till yesterday! So thats where the cannoli, chips, ice cream, nice soaps, chocolate ( to the tune of about -gasp- $30 a week) came from. Im 5 feet tall and weigh 98 pounds - extra pounds arent an issue, so eating this junk has never been a problem, has it? And the part about the sneaky tricks the inner kid will pull... oh man, I can see that, now, too! Thank you so much for all you do....I saved the cost of the GOOD book package in short order. I can see why were $30,000 in credit card debt and cant make any headway! Darla wants to make a money book and I promised Id watercolor with her, too. Tell people, this sounds flaky but it really works. Most appreciative, Susie and Darla

Consider your childs request to tell him a story or read him a book, not as an interruption, but as the most honored invitation you will ever receive. Robert Schuller

Housework is repetitive. It is if you do it. Pam Young

Work is love made visable.

Dear Friends, I’d like to share with you one of the tools I wrote about in the GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt that helped get me out of debt six years ago when I faced the horrible truth about my finances. I call it the Good Behavior Cash Envelope. Following the advice of most experts who help people out of debt, I began buying groceries with cash. The Good Behavior Cash Envelope was put in my purse empty for all the cash I would save on any given trip to Safeway for all the things Nelly wanted but I did not buy. Here is one such trip one of my readers had right after reading the GOOD Book. Love, Pam Dear Pam, Today was my first grocery store excursion using the GOOD Rules. ( My rascal’s name is Jane.) When I went to ShopRite tonight I had my list. Jane was out in force. First, before we even went in the store, she really wanted one of the wreaths that were 2 for $15. "We only need one!" I told her. I can only imagine what I must have looked like to passers-by as I dug out 50 cents from the bottom of my purse to go in the Good Behavior Cash Envelope with the 7 dollars. Inside the store, Jane went nuts when she realized that we hadnt put bird seed on the list ... she likes feeding the birds - our outdoor pets. Lately, weve been discussing having our two feeders have different kinds of seeds to attract different types of birds ... we recently got a suet feeder for the winter. "But MOM!! You said we could do it!" Since I didn’t have small enough bills to transfer money for each thing I talked Jane out of, I decided to keep a running list of the price of each item on the back of my grocery list and then add it all up at the end of the trip when I got home. I was tired and Jane was too. I passed the Klondike Bars on sale in the frozen section - "Mom - you always buy these when theyre on sale!" More $ for the envelope. My favorite was the Readers Digest at the checkout - Jane and I both love the humor sections and the interesting articles. One caught her eye "Do This 3 Times a Day and Youll Be Happy!" ( whiny voice) "Mom! We need this!” I told her wed be happy when we were out of debt and wrote the $3.99 down on the back of the list. When I got home I was shocked! I added up all the money on the list and it totaled $53.00. I was not aware of how much Jane tosses into the cart - for herself, for the kids as treats, and just because we have bought it in the past, so it must be on the list now. Im stunned. $53.00!!!! Im so excited! And Jane is excited too. I was wondering how I could possibly follow a budget when for the past year ALL of my money went mostly for food. I think I know now. Thank you, Pam. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!! I am so thrilled that this woman has already saved $53 using just one of the many ideas in my new book! To order the GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt go to www.thegetoutofdebtbook.org It’s available as an audio book or an E-Book.

The French Chef I made hors doeuvres for the party Put them on a fancy plate I gave my concoction a French name My guests gladly took the bait La Viande Dheir Soir Est Sous le Fromage Sounds tasty and sure to please The truth translated to English The Meat From Last Night is Under the Cheese This hor doeuvre comes from a cook book Peggy and I wrote many years ago. We still have a few left. Its called The Phony Gourmet and the motto of the book is, "Its not what you do, its what they think you do." There are 75 deliciously sneaky recipes for soups, main dishes, desserts, salads and yes, hors doeurvres. Just go to www.shesintouch.com to order.

Dear Pam, I’m still such a mess, but I’m better than I used to be. I love your “brat” theory, and I think it’s very insightful. But I’ve thought and thought for over a year about my brat’s name, trying out several that just didn’t work. Then, a few weeks ago, without even thinking, I said out loud, “Now, just wait a little while, Lovey.” And, wow! That named her. In analyzing why this name worked, I realized that my brat had to have a name that expresses my love WHILE training her. I had a wonderful childhood in so many respects, with many advantages and opportunities. My parents encouraged creativity and education and godliness, but they expected perfection. I “hardly every” met that standard. J Duh! But their, or particularly my mother’s, reprimands were always delivered with such anger. Because her tone of voice was so harsh, whatever words she actually said sounded like, “I cannot love you. You failed.” Then, naturally, I married a man who talked to me the same way. I finally let his mistress have him. And I am now married to a wonderful man who cherishes me. We’ve been married 20 years, and I’m still amazed. So, though you have always urged only loving patience with our brats, I finally found a name that embodied that. Giving my little rascal a sweet name has helped me turn off some old voices. It’s not possible for me to say “Lovey” with anything but kindness. And my brat and I both deserve that while I work toward order and peace. But not perfection. Thank you so much, Priscilla and Lovey

Speaking of debt, the quote is by President J. Reuben Clark, "Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation; it never visits nor travels; it takes no pleasure; it is never laid off work nor discharged from employment; it never works on reduced hours; it never has short crops nor droughts; it never pays taxes; it buys no food; it wears no clothes; it is unhoused and without home and so has no repairs, no replacements, no shingling, plumbing, painting, or whitewashing; it has neither wife, children, father, mother, nor kinfolk to watch over and care for; it has no expense of living; it has neither weddings nor births nor deaths; it has no love, no sympathy; it is as hard and soulless as a granite cliff. Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you." ( in Conference Report, Apr., 1938, p. 103.) Thank you once again for the wonderful ways in which you share yourself with us and make difference in our lives! Sarah American Fork, Utah

My new book, The GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt deals with getting out of debt and credit cards are one of the big- gest culprits. In the book I share the classified ad I actually placed in the Columbian News Paper in 2002 re- porting to my communtiy the death of all but one of my credit cards. I thought youd like to read it. Eight of Pam Young’s closest and beloved friends passed away on July 5, 2002. The credit cards included two Visas, a Mastercard, Discover, Chevron, American Express, Nordstrom and Victoria’s Secret. They were in the prime ( plus 12 to 23%) of their lives when they were stopped dead in their charging tracks. They will be sorely missed. The private funeral service will be held on July 15, 2002. Attendance is limited to the CEOs and employees in the credit departments involved and close friends and family. Anyone wishing to mutilate and bury his or her credit cards during the ceremony will be encouraged to do so. There will be a potluck following the service. In lieu of flowers you can call Pam Young at 696-4091 to offer condolences. She will be spending the next two years climbing out of the hole those beloved friends helped her dig and will appreciate your good thoughts. FlyLady has provided a link to the video of my Credit Card Funeral officiated by her husband Judge Robert Cilley. ( Her sister Paddi also plays an important role. The video is seven and a half minutes long, but its worth your time to see the truth about credit cards. http://budurl.com/CreditCardFuneral

I love the idea of sneaking to put Christmas ribbon around all the stuffed animals necks! My sons ( ages 8,6,4) are animal lovers and oh what joy they will have to know all the stuffed animals were included in Christmas! I will add this to my new plan/fun I have decided on this year. My plan is to put three gift bags under the tree with each boys name on one. These bags will not hold a gift, but will hold clues as to where their gifts are hidden! The boys will be oh so disappointed when they see only one bag each and then when they see that it only contains paper, well! I just hope Im awake to see their faces! Baby will be having a hay day watching the boys this Christmas morning! -Amanda and brat Baby

If holiday entertaining seems to be a big issue with you ( feeling obligated to do the big party, dinner, decorations etc.) dont do it! Do what corporations have been doing, downsize. Instead of making a list of employees to yank out of the company, make a list of all tasks involved in your idea of the holiday season. Then ask yourself three questions of each item on the list. ( Evaluating the list will help you decide what matters most.) 1. Why am I pulled to do this? ( If the answer is because I love to do this, you dont need to ask the other two questions.) 2. What would happen to our familys holiday spirit if I axed it? 3. Is there a simpler alternative? Entertaining should be fun. It is for many people. But if its an obligation it loses all the joy the holidays promise. So how can you still have the fun of the season with less work? You have to give up control. For the holiday feast, invite EVERYONE in the family to share in the event. Sort of potluck the whole event, not just the food. Let the kids decorate the tree. Let Aunt Bea organize a game. Let Grandma bring her famous cookies. Let Norma bring her fabulous vegetable hors doeuvres. Let John, yes John, set the table ( and leave it the way he does it). Let your mother-in-law organize clean up. ( Clean up can be a memorable holiday tradition when approached properly.) Most people love to help, especially when invited to someone elses home. Its a matter of relinquishing control and letting everyone in on making the event a success. I created the Brat Factor to help people look at life with new eyes. My motto is: If it isnt fun, it wont get done. I would add to that motto, if the holidays dont bring you joy, get those "new eyes" out and re-think your priorities. If the holidays arent fun, whats the point? Happy Holidays!

Here are some great ideas from a subscriber. When my son was around nine, I found a preprinted "stocking" that you cut and sew that is about 3 high. When it was completed my little fellow could stand in it. At the time I was actively protesting the pressures of store bought Christmases and trying to find innovative ways to cut back on the expectation to have lots of presents under the tree that just werent necessary or appreciated. At age five he had so many gifts to unwrap that he quit unwrapping and retreated to his room to play. So in the course of a couple of years we started some new traditions. Every year we get a large "family" gift: TV, new stereo, game system, furniture or something that will benefit all of us. ( This year we uncovered the original wood floor of the kitchen/entry way and its going to be beautiful!) We decided that we would rather unwrap one or two things that we had really been wishing for, than 10 things that would go almost straight to the Goodwill box. Now, he gets his stocking filled with a couple of fun things in larger boxes and gift-wrapped and some small silly games or toys, a CD and batteries-always some batteries, a snack of some sort like candy or nuts and a Pez dispenser always in the toe. You should see him dig for that every year! I usually spend between $20 and $50 total. He even talks about his "stocking" during the year. Another tradition we have is 12 for $12. We go to Target or K-mart with $12 each to find 12 gifts to open the 12 days before Christmas. We had so much fun unwrapping a candy bar, fishing lures, gum; its challenging to fulfill your quantity of gifts requirement, wrap them so its difficult to guess and stay within your budget. Im always fascinated by what my re- sourceful child can put together. Its a great life lesson for little people ( eight then, now 16) to be able to get his 12 and stay within the budget. Its a good reminder to me too that there are limits and very good reasons for respecting them. Thats our Christmas. We take cocoa and see the lights, go to church service and spend most of the month expressing our love by doing things for each other in little ways and large. Its a beautiful season if you remove as much of the commercialism as possible....regardless of your financial status.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell Now during the holiday season lets re-remember what the Brat Factor is all about. First it is NOT about running yourself down or beating yourself up by admitting you have an inner brat. Its about loving yourself enough to look at all the parts of you and then being able, in a loving way, to work with the "less mature" part of you that has created circumstances you do not want. By admitting you have an inner brat you are "growing up." When we own that bratty part of us that sabotages our good intentions we can start to change that part of us. By recog- nizing patterns of thinking that our inner brats think, we can interrupt those patterns by saying in a very loving way: "Hello there little one, I hear you and Im sorry but we need to follow the rules Ive set up." As Ive said many times, what we think most of the time creates our future. Once we get a hold of our negative and self-defeating thinking we are able to change our behavior which in turn changes our future. Watch your little brat during this holiday season as she will be alive and well. Remember she loves decorations, food, gifts, ribbons, surprises, candy, music and fun and she could care less what things cost, how youll pay for them, what calories do to your hips or your health, because shes a kid! Use this holiday season to have fun with your kid!

From a subscriber: My most hated task was emptying the dishwasher, and so of course I knew that was the thing "I must do." I renamed the task my "morning kitchen meditation" ( since I run the dishwasher last thing each night, and need to empty it first thing in the morning to get the kitchen off to the right start). I kick off the kettle for my cup of green tea, turn on the CD player to my morning meditation music, "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. I find the same music every single morning just sets me on autopilot and gets going. Ive also set up a similar "evening laundry medita- tion." Once Ive closed the kitchen and put my ducks in a row for tomorrow, I put on a different CD ( "Kili- manjaro" by Rippintons,) The same music every night tells me that the day is over and its time to wind down, bring in my cup of herbal tea and fold the days laundry. I put it away immediately since there are no small people clinging to my ankles at this time of night! Ive begun calling them my "rituals" instead of my "routines." Just one more word we love in favor of one that doesnt sound like so much fun to lil ol Libby-Lee. Have a great day! Elizabeth

We have been deluged with orders for the Everybody Loves Money ( ELM) DVD with videos of ten fun and funny ways to give cash presents that will be the hit gifts of the year and are working as fast as we can to get yours out to you, because we know you are preparing your Christmas presents. To help you, when you purchase ELM, we will send you an email that day explaining three other fun ideas I have chosen that are easy to make without a visual demonstration and that are not on the DVD. You’ll find Everybody Loves Money at www.housefairy.org and then click on the order page. That way even if the mails get bogged down, you can start putting presents together with those three ideas and then use the other ten ideas as soon as you get your DVD. Love, Pam P.S. This will be even more valuable for orders from outside the United States which could take longer to reach you.

Dear Pam, Here I was feeling sorry for myself, bored and procrastinating, in a messy room that was pulling me down, rehearsing, "Why cant I just be skinny? Why do I have to constantly clean up after everyone? Why dont I have an impact on the world? Why arent my wins recognized by the world? Why doesnt anyone like me enough to care? Why, why, why? Then I read the email from the woman who got a kick out of her clean fridge! Wow! Well, maybe stewing about these irrational thoughts isnt going to help me! Where is my thinking going to take me today? In a deep dark hole, where no one will notice me! I am so glad this woman reminded me that I CAN clean up for me! It is not a job to dread, but something to make ME smile. I wonder if I am the only one who drives herself to be depressed? Why dont I learn from these times? I exercise and I feel good. I clean and I feel a sense of accomplishment. I eat right and I feel like I am taking care of myself. Why is it so hard to get started sometimes? Well, I think I am going to go take a look in my fridge and see what I can do. Maybe, Ill listen to a little Flylady radio while Im at it. Thanks for reminding me that Im alive and worth it, whether I am writing a novel or cleaning the fridge! Heather Mississippi Hi Heather, You know what? I think we SHEs think too much. Your email could have been written by me when I was young and in such a mess. Every time I quit thinking and just DID what ever I was thinking about, I won! And almost every time I did something I was dreading, once I got into it, I ( the fun-loving part of me) actually had fun. The secret is to get as many of the jobs we think about doing, put into the column marked HABIT. Once you have established a habit you auto- matically do it and you dont leave room for thought. I hope you are getting a kick out of what you did to the fridge. Love, Pam

From one of my subscribers: I dont recommend this to everyone, but I live in the country and we have great people around where I live. Were talking low to no crime. Praise the Lord! As I was driving home from dropping my kids at school in 20 degree ( or below) weather I saw a young man trudging up the road ( the other direction) in a thin fleece jacket with a Bible tucked under his arm ( yes, I knew it was a Bible because of the gold shining from the edge of the pages). I said a quick prayer about whether I should turn around and offer him a ride, and immediately felt the nudge to do so. I turned around, pulled up, and asked him where he was headed. He said, as he was shivering, he was just going a bit further up the road and around the corner to his Grandmas house. I offered a ride and asked him to hop in back as the front seat was full ( I was taking things to our church later that day). He got in the back seat, introduced himself, and we chatted a bit. I had the opportunity to ask him about the church he went to; he told me he had just begun joining his Grandma at her little church on the mountain. We chatted for a bit as he directed me around the corner to his Grandmas house, just a couple minutes up the road. It was really sweet! He told me his name was Matthew, and thanked me for his kindness as he left the car. Although his Grandma lived only another 1 1/2 miles up the road and took merely a couple minutes of my time, this young man was extremely grateful for not having to freeze for another 15-20 minute walk getting there. I myself was thankful for the opportunity to share Gods love... Bless you all, Jana

I wanted to share this heart-warming email from a subsriber. Hi Pam Thanks for the message from the woman who grew up when she was three. My experiences were similar to this lady. I had to be grown up and never show weakness or I would be punished and told I was selfish and idle. I have spent years struggling with depression and the past eleven months in psychotherapy. One of the things I have realised is that my Brat feels much smaller than the nine year old that you describe and she just feels that she wants soft, warm unconditional hugs. While Christmas shopping I finally bought myself a Teddy Bear, well actually it is a fluffy dog. I had a Teddy Bear as a child but it was filled with sawdust and hard so it never felt comforting. It feels so liberating to know that I can buy myself a Teddy Bear and I can comfort myself instead of looking for comfort outside myself. I wouldn’t look after myself because my mother was scary and a martyr, who made such an issue of self-denial that I felt that it was selfish to take my own needs into account. I have spent far too many years in a panic searching for someone to look after me. For financial reasons I need to downsize my house, which I felt was humiliating but I realised last night that the people who would judge me are not worth knowing. What my true friends will hope for is a reasonably tidy HOME that shows respect for me instead of the cluttered, badly maintained house that I am miserable in. I failed to invite a friend of my father’s round because I didn’t want him to see the state of my carpets and now he is dead. He liked me and would have so much appreciated being welcomed into my home. Thank you for all you do for us. I have started collecting all the Surprises that I feel “speak” to me, so that I can go back to them. Love, Tricia in England

The House Fairy and I recently took a trip up to the North Pole to visit her brother, Santa Claus to see whats new in the stocking stuffer department. Mrs. Santa Claus ( Margie) is in charge of that and she was very happy to show us her latest line of stuffers. She starts each season with an empty shoebox for each child and by Christmas Eve the shoebox is filled with all the goodies shes collected for each child and the contents are perfect for the stockings Santa puts them in. She explained this year all good boys and girls will receive gifts in their stockings which please each of the five senses. She told us her husband fills stockings for all ages, so her ideas range from those for small children to those for teenagers and even moms and dads who have been good. Gifts for the ears: CDs Earrings Muffs Whistles Mp3 players Concert tickets Radios Ipods Earplugs Gifts for the nose: Perfume Room deodorizer Candles Incense Noseplugs Breath Spray Certs Tic Tacs Gifts for the eyes: Goggles Sunglasses Eye make-up Eye drops DVDs Movie Tickets Kaleidoscopes Opera glasses Crayons Color books Gifts to touch: Foot warmers Gift certificate for a massage Bubble Bath Ben Gay Gifts for taste: Nuts Candy Fruit Gift certificate to restaurant Starbucks The Popcorn Factory 1-888-216-0235 Harry and David 1-877-322-1200 Mrs. Sees Chocolates 1-800-347-7337 Mrs. Fields Cookies 1-800-266-5437 Mrs. Santa Claus told us she wraps some of the gifts, but not all of them. "Wrapping slows down the sock gutting process and extends the length of anticipation which is a gift in itself." Margie told us when Santa gives a gift certificate; he puts it inside a balloon, blows the balloon up about the size of a lemon and puts it in the sock. He uses balloons for other small stocking stuffers like jewelry and money. "Balloons help fill up the sock ( theres something disappointing about a half-filled stocking) and its fun for the sock gutter to have to pop the balloon to get the gift." When we left the North Pole, the Christmas couple told us that filling stockings is one of the most creative parts of their job. They said its fun to take the extra time to make the filled stocking one of the best parts of Christmas morning.

AFTER FOUR YEARS, ITS FINALLY HERE!!! In desperation, I met Nelly in 2002. I’d been challenged to write a “funny” book on financial home organization with my sister, and had been struggling with the writing because I had $26,000.00 in credit card debt that was routinely waking me up in the middle of the night! How could I write a book to tell my readers what to do, when I wasn’t doing it or cared less about doing it, let alone telling it in a funny way? Then I met Nelly. Before I created the Brat Factor website I got my finances organized and I climbed out of debt with Nelly’s help. Now, six years later, I have written and recorded my trek from red ink to black. The GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt is only available as an audio book and I am offering it for $9.95 until January 1, 2009 when it will sell for $13.95. I suggest when you download it that you listen to all thirteen chapters for an overall sense of the book ( you can do it while you decorate and wrap presents) and then go back to chapter nine and set up your tools ( made just for your inner brat). Flylady created the FACE TM Control Journal which is a wonderful partner to the GOOD Book. It’s free at www.flylady.net and can be used as you listen and plan your personal program. Get your finances under control now. Feel the peace of knowing your checkbook is balanced and in the black. Relish the bliss of paying your bills on time and savor the power when you are in control of your spending. In a very short time you will bring your finances under control AND have fun doing it. This humorous book was written to entertain you while I help you grow into a financially mature adult. It is my prayer that you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank and to financial happiness while you bring your family and your inner brat right along with you. Just go to www.thegetoutofdebtbook.org and you can listen to the introduction free and order the book.

Your vision will become clear ony when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. Carl Jung

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everything you can imagine is real. Pablo Picasso

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today, Wednesday, I am preparing most of my feast! This Thanksgiving Im giving up the Norman Rockwell image of the turkey as the centerpiece with the happy, adoring family smiling around it. Joanna, my daughter, told me all the holiday food commercials are showcasing a big bronzed roasted turkey and in the movies they always carve the turkey at the festive table with family standing by. In real life no one carves the turkey at the table. It’s too messy! So the big bird on the table is a myth. Yesterday, I was talking to the editor-in-chief of Woman’s Day telling her what I’m going to do this year and she admitted that they have a fake turkey they photograph for their covers! I knew it! So here’s what I’m doing today. Im cutting up my turkey ( raw) into the basic parts, and cooking all but two of the body parts; one side of the breast and the back. I’ll also be able to make the gravy from the drippings today. On Thanksgiving, I’ll cook the back by placing it over the stuffing that will be in a casserole dish and it will give the stuffing that “stuffed” taste and roast the ½ breast for the luscious and comforting smell of roasting turkey on Thanksgiving Day. I checked on the folks who make rubber chickens thinking they might make a fake, cooked turkey that looks like the ones on the covers of womens magazines, in the commercials and in the movies? Then I found a company that makes all kinds of fake food and a roasted turkey is available for $75. I’m getting one and it will be stored in my holiday decorations. Just in case you are interested: http://www.incredibleinedibles.shoppingcartsplus.com/page/page/1252403.htm

Thanksgiving Holiday Feast Plans: On track and Sidetracked ON TRACK SCHEDULE 6:00 a.m. Exercise, shower, fix hair and put on make-up. 7:30 a.m. Say prayers, read inspirational material. 8:00 a.m. Make bed, dress, eat cereal, nonfat milk, toast and fruit, take a walk, and check appearance of the front door. 9:00 a.m. Stuff turkey with stuffing prepared yesterday, have children set holiday table. ( Silver was polished yesterday.) Boil potatoes ( they were peeled yesterday and have been soaking in cold water overnight). Make pies ( pumpkin filling, apple filling and dough were made yesterday and refrigerated). 10:00 a.m. Listen to holiday music; check table, centerpiece and candles. Bake pies. Whip potatoes and set aside to be micro-waved just before serving. 11:00 a.m. Put turkey in the oven. Noon Prepare a light meal, soup and salad for family. 1:00 p.m. Call relative long distance, make sure bathroom has toilet paper, guest towels and soap, ( of course it is swished and swiped daily). 2:00 p.m. Make last minute items, such as gravy, heat rolls and mashed potatoes, put out butter, Jello salads and other refrigerated foods you prepared yesterday and the day before. 3:00 p.m. Doorbell rings. Greet guests, sit down to dinner. Take small portions and allow 45 minutes to eat. Stop eating before you are stuffed. 4:00 p.m. Have everyone help clear the table and clean up the kitchen. Sip a low calorie drink or water if you are inclined to snack on leftovers. 5:00 p.m. Take a nice long walk with family and guests. Build a snowman or take a ride in the country. 7:00 p.m. Come home and play cards or a board game or watch, Its A Wonderful Life. 10:00 p.m. Go to bed. Sleep like a baby. 2:00 a.m. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz 6:00 a.m. Wake up refreshed. Weigh yourself. Have a wonderful life! SIDETRACKED SCHEDULE 6:00 a.m. 7:00 a.m. 8:00 a.m. 9:00 a.m. Leave bed unmade, start meal preparations in pajamas, discover turkey is not totally thawed, skip breakfast. 10:00 a.m. Polish silver, snack on chips, olives, nuts and dip while blow-drying the turkey. Put it in the oven with a Cornish Game Hen in the hole because you didnt make a stuffing. 11:00 a.m. Find family room in a mess, start stashing, find tweezers, start watching, Its A Wonderful Life on television, pluck a few hairs on your knee caps. Noon Eat more chips and dip, have a beer. Wake up kids, throw a fit over their messy rooms. 1:00 p.m. Discover you dont have cranberry sauce, throw long coat on over pajamas ( roll legs up so they dont show) head to Minute Mart. 2:00 p.m. Call husband to come and get you because you ran out of gas. Eat some of the snacks you bought, while you wait. Race home, take a birdbath, throw some clothes on, yell at the kids for not cleaning their rooms. Close the door to yours. 3:00 p.m. Doorbell rings. Greet guests, have husband entertain while you set the table. 4:00 p.m. Eat like a pig. Have seconds and thirds, pile on butter, salt heavily, drink several glasses of wine, dont save room for desert but then have it anyway. Tell everyone youll do the dishes later, drag yourself to the living room and crash on the couch. 5:00 p.m. 6:00 p.m. 7:00 p.m. 10:00 p.m. Head for the Alka Seltzer, hit the bed and toss and turn. 2:00 a.m. Sneak into the kitchen and fix a turkey sandwich, wash it down with milk straight out to the carton, polish of the last piece of pecan pie you bought at Minute Mart. 9:00 a.m. Wake up with a splitting headache, weigh yourself and sulk all day.

Whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into somehting of value. Hermann Hesse

Slow down and enjoy life. Its not only the scenery you miss by going too fast, you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. Eddie Cantor

Dear Pam, I really liked the 365 surprise about the revelation that woman had: "loving yourself is not the same thing as indulging yourself." I, too, have recognized the same thing, but I didnt know how to put it into words, and I hadnt recognized that it was my brat speaking. So this really helped. I like the word indulge. I hear the advice that I need to do things for myself, but sometimes its not very satisfying. Ive noticed when I think I "deserve" to spend the day doing what I want, whether its sewing on the quilt Im making or reading a book, I never feel happy and I often get bored. But when I do my routines mixed in with what I like to do, that makes all the difference in the world! Then I feel like I accomplished something. Like yesterday, do you know what I did for myself? I cleaned out the fridge! Ive mostly kept the leftovers thrown out, but there were spills and spots that have been there for a few weeks and were really bugging me. Now theyre gone! Opening my fridge and seeing it clean is as good as going to get my hair done or shopping for new clothes. I guess its kind of like FlyLadys shining sink. Anyway, thanks again for sharing these thoughts, for making me smile each day, and for the overall encouragement. Love, Ellen I loved Ellens email, because shes right, we can know something, but not be able to put it into words, so we dont benefit from the "knowing." I loved that she is getting such a kick out of her clean refrigerator and it is like Flyladys shiny sink! Ellen made me think that since Ive been organized for more than 31 years, I forget what a kick I get from having a clean and organized home! Life is good! Love, Pam

Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel Dear Brat Parents, Thousands have been helped by my ideas for communicating with the child within. This woman who goes back to my Sidetracked Home Executive days ( her reference to 3x5 cards) wrote a letter I felt was worth sharing. It’s long and I apologize for that, but she touches many chords many of us deal with today. Warm regards, Pam Young Hello, Now this is going to sound like a paid advertisement. A year ago, maybe two, I ordered the Inner Brat CD. I did not ever listen to it. I dont know why, well, part of the reason was I could not find it. LOL You see, I sort of fell off the cards a long time ago hence losing things, but now I am working at getting back on board. I have the old cards out and making new ones. The ones I used to use ( 25 years ago) were all decorated fancy with stickers and drawings but they are old and yellowed now. It was really fun then, so now I am in the process of making new and pretty cards. Silly? Maybe it is the child in me innocently expressing herself with fun pretty things. That is a good thing. ( Oops, I got sidetracked.) Back to my story. I have gained so much weight over the years. I was a skinny little thing back in 1983 when I first started the cards but stress, husband anger, and a number of things really derailed everything and over the years I just sabotaged the heck out of myself and got fat. I have often wondered "why do I sabotage myself so bad?" I have asked myself that over and over. I have asked counselors, but they want to do all that childhood stuff and who have you not forgiven stuff! Not any of that seemed to shed light on anything. Day before yesterday I finally sat in my chair and listened to your inner brat CD. That bratty little girls whiny demanding voice was the same one that has been talking to ( sabotaging) me! Wow, was that ever an eye opener! Those few minutes listening to you and that BRAT was such an education. The last two days have been good for me regarding the eating department and I do hope that it will continue. I have such a better understanding since I recognized that bratty childs voice as the one residing in me and talking to me regarding food. I have gotten your daily emails and I always read them and enjoy them. However, I never could quite connect with the inner brat stuff. But that voice and information on the CD shed the light that finally was able to make me personify my inner brat and separate myself from her. That always before seemed so abstract to me. I just could not grasp the idea. Never could give it a name. Now I just call her The Brat. Now I know it is not really the real me or who I want to be that is causing the sabotage. It is something that I can separate myself from so I dont have to beat myself up. I can just tell the brat to shut up and stop being a spoiled little brat. I feel so much better. My mother never let me be a little kid. I had to be all grown up all the time. "Dont act silly!" "Dont be bratty, people MUST like you and they wont like you if you are a brat." When I got married, DH was not about to put up with any pouty whiny stuff when my emotions got the best of me. I guess my inner brat finally found a way to have a voice and get her way by tempting me and begging me with her desire for self satisfaction. Mom and Dad had me afraid to do anything naughty or bratty. I have been grown up since I was 3. My DH was pretty aloof to me and my needs were not validated or important. I remember one time sitting with a quart of ice cream thinking, "I might as well eat this, this is the only fun that is available to me," then I realized what I was doing and put it away. Even knowing that, I still ate and got fat. I know that there were times when I have thought, "The pleasure of eating is the only thing that DH cant control." Well, enough looking back. Time to look forward. Now I will need to figure out when my inner child has a real need and when she just wants to be whiny and get her way with the goodies. I know the inner child needs hugs sometimes and that she is lonely many times. I will need to figure something out for that. Thank you so much for your insight and sharing it with all of us out here. Most people hope that they can make a positive difference in someones life before they die. Well, you have definitely helped me through the years. Thank you so much! Dotha Dear Dotha, One of the rewards you can give your inner child is who and what you are today. You are grown up, with experience, wisdom, knowledge and love. If today you made a list of intangible qualities you feel you did not receive as a child from your mom and dad, the list might look something like this: Affection Attention Kindness Leadership Consistency Limits Understanding Love Laughter Adoration Praise Respect Time spent one on one with parent Consideration Good role modeling Patience Now you know that you should have experienced all of those qualities as a child if your parents had only known what they were doing. The wonderful news is, NOW you can be that great parent to yourself! Its never too late! Now you can give yourself all the qualities of a good parent you missed as a child and you can use those qualities as rewards in themselves instead of fattening food. Love, Pam To learn more about your inner child ( who just might be a brat) go to www.thebratfactor.com and check out the tools I’ve created to assist you in making friends with that part of you that can sabotage your good intentions.

Most people do not realize the many health benefits of gratitude. Studies indicate that thankfulness is directly linked to physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Compared to people who do not live a lifestyle of thankfulness, research shows that grateful people: 1. Experience higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination optimism and energy 2. Experience less depression 3. Better manage stress 4. Are more likely to help others 5. Exercise more regularly 6. Make more progress towards their personal goals 7. Have stronger immune systems 8. Have fewer symptoms of physical illness Those are some impressive benefits that can be yours without even increasing your physical activity or changing your nutrition plan. All that is required is a grateful heart. Are you a thankful person? If you are unsure, then it may be in your best interest to consider the following questions: Are you the type of person who dwells on the good or on the bad things that happen to you? Do you tell others about the blessings in your life as much as you tell them when things go wrong? Are you considerate of the people closest to you or do you often take them for granted? Are you thankful only when things are going well or do you look for blessings even when bad things happen? Is there someone you admire who is a thankful person? What other attributes do you admire about him/her? Are you leaving a legacy of thankfulness that others will remember you by? There is nothing complicated about gratitude. Quite simply, thankfulness is a choice. To say we feel grateful is not to say that everything in our life is great. It just means that in spite of all we see that is worthy of complaint, there is far more we can choose to focus on that is worthy of thank- fulness. Why not choose to extend the tradition of giving thanks through the entire year, instead of limiting it to the Holiday Season? Your physical, emotional, and spiritual health will all reap the benefits of a thankful heart. The choice is yours.

Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. Voltaire

One of the rewards we can give our inner brats is who and what we are today. We are grown ups, with experience, wisdom, knowledge and love. If today you made a list of intangible qualities you feel you did not receive as a child from your parents or guardians, the list might look something like this: Affection Attention Kindness Leadership Consistency Limits Understanding Love Laughter Adoration Praise Respect Time spent one on one with parent Consideration Good role modeling Now you know that you should have experienced all of those qualities as a child if your parents had only known what they were doing. The wonderful news is, NOW you can be that great parent to yourself! Its never too late! Now you can give yourself all the qualities of a good parent you missed as a child and you can use those qualities as rewards in themselves.

At the center of your being you have the answer. You know who you are and you know what you want. Lao-tzu

You have brains in your heads. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. Dr. Seuss Dear Pam, Last week we were forced to stay home because of snow! So when my mailman brought the mail ( you know neither rain nor sleet or snow will keep me from bringing your mail) my ELM package was there! I couldn’t wait to watch the DVD and since the girls 7 and 10 were home from school I decided to let them watch it with me. We don’t do the House Fairy at our house because I thought the 10 year old was too old for her. She doesn’t believe in Santa as of last year and I just thought I’d pass. But when they saw the House Fairy demonstrating all the funny ways to give money as gifts, they both wanted to know who she was. My 7 year-old was so excited to think the House Fairy would come and inspect her room and she wanted me to sign her up. We watched the video and because I already had many of the ingredients needed to make some of the gifts we took care of five people on our Christmas list! And it inspired me to think of one myself!! I put ten one dollar bills folded up in plastic wrap and put them inside a big snowball. I put the snowball in a zip lock bag and put it in the freezer until Christmas with a printed sign that says: Cold Cash! When the opportunity came my 10 year old asked me, “Is the House Fairy like Santa Clause or is she real?” I got tears in my eyes looking at my adorable daughter who is growing up way too fast, but is still wanting to believe in fanciful fairies. I said yes she’s like Santa and felt a tug at my heart. Then she said, “can I help you so Olivia can have the House Fairy?” I’m signing up today! Thank you for what you do. May Dear May, Way to go! I love the snowball idea! I remember loving to help my parents keep Santa alive in my younger sisters life. We were five years apart and I had at least four years of joyfully helping to "keep the secret." Your older daughter will love helping you with Santa this year and the House Fairy all year round. Thank you for writing. Love, Pam To get the ELM DVD go to www.housefairy.org and click on "orders." Scroll down until you come to the ELM DVD ( Everybody Loves Money).

True courage is like a kite; a contrary wind raises it higher. John Petit-Senn

Dear Pam, I love the Brat Factor e-mails and everything at the Brat Factory. I also recently got my own copy of Sidetracked Home Executives: From Pigpen to Paradise. It is one of my favorite books, and I have quite a few. ( My brat, Angie, likes to read and will make the excuse that she needs "me" time.) I wanted to tell you that I think it is no coincidence that you started organizing in 1977, the same year I happened to be born. God knew I needed someone like you, who had gone through CHAOS herself, to help me learn to organize myself. Also, thank you very much for creating the card file system with your sister and for sharing it with us. Many thanks, Elizabeth Hi Elizabeth, Thank you for your kind words! I absolutely love my job. It is so exciting to know our work is helping people just like us. Love, Pam

THE GIRL I USED TO BE She came tonight as I sat alone The girl I used to be. And she gazed at me with her earnest eye And questioned reproachfully: Have you forgotten the many plans And hopes I had for you? The great career, the splendid fame, All the wonderful things to do? Where is the mansion of stately height With all its gardens rare? The silken robes that I dreamed for you And the jewels in your hair? And as she spoke, I was very sad, For I wanted her pleased with me, This slender girl from the shadowy past, The girl that I used to be. So gently rising, I took her hand And guided her up the stairs Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay, Innocent, sweet, and fair. And I told her that these are my only gems, And precious they are to me; That silken robes is my motherhood Of costly simplicity. And my mansion of stately height is love, And the only career I know Is serving each day in these sheltered walls For the dear ones who come and go And as I spoke to my shadowy guest, She smiled through her tears at me. And I saw the woman that I am now Pleased the girl I used to be. - Author unknown

Dont underestimate an ounce, which is the weight of a tablespoon of liquid. If you gained an ounce a day, in a year youd weigh 23 pounds more that you do now.

Treat yourself with love and respect and you will attract people who show you love and respect.

Attention all night owls! ( Its really your inner brat in a big owl costume. Hoo Hoo!) If you stay up way too late playing on the computer, and then you are cranky the next day and have no energy to keep your home clean, cozy and peaceful, we have a sleeping pill for your computer! Thats right! Just install the software, designate night, night time, choose a lullaby or a good night message from Pam, Flylady or Drill Sergeant Dennis and FINALLY start getting a good nights sleep. The Sleeping Pill is $5. What a price to pay for rest! In The Sidetracked Sisters Happiness File we wrote: "The need for a good nights rest goes back as far as recorded history. Take Napoleon, for example; histor- ians say his basic problems throughout life stemmed from his size, but we dont think thats true. If some- one were to find some of Napoleons old grade school report cards, were sure it would be our fatigue theory that would be borne out instead. Eiffel Elementary School 7312 Rue des Hors dOeuvres Paris, France 10046 Dear Mr. And Mrs. Bonaparte: I think you are probably aware of some of the problems we are having with Napoleon at school. I believe they began early in the year when some of the other boys teased him about his size. I have spoken to the other children and their parents about the importance of being kind to those who are different. However, I dont believe that the teasing is the main reason for your sons troubles. I think Napoleon needs more sleep. During class I often see his head on his desk, and although he stays on task and has no problem understanding the work, he is often listless and irritable. Perhaps you, as his parents, could see to it that your son gets to bed at a rea- sonable hour so that he will be able to cope better in class and on the playground. Sincerely, Morrie Chevalier P.S. Napoleon is a good leader and when he gets the other boys on his side he is able to make them do whatever he wants. ( Good or bad.) I truly believe that more sleep will help him to blossom into a fine citizen. Perhaps this summer you can establish a routine bedtime for him. Have a good vacation, Leon! Think of how the course of history might have been altered if the Bonapartes had heeded Mr. Chevaliers advice." The Sleeping Pill for your computer can alter history! Purchase it, install it and start getting the rest you de- serve! The Brat Factory

Expectation is a powerful attractive force. Expect the things you want, and dont expect the things you dont want. The Secret

Dont be excited, be exciting.

I loved this email! I had an experience this past summer I want to share with you! My wonderful mother-in-law gave me a fabulous gift for Christmas. It was a gift certificate for a cleaning crew to spend 2 hours cleaning my house. Just the thought of it excited me. Someone else coming to clean my toilets, lug the vacuum around, and scrub my floors! The expiration date was coming near when my dear aunt passed away and I offered to host the funeral dinner. I thought it was a perfect time to use my gift certificate. The only problem I met was that with all the clutter I had in my house, the cleaners were not going to get to every nook and cranny I dreamed of them cleaning. It took a full 18 hours as other family members took care of my kids, and my husband and I de- cluttered. I couldnt believe what had been hidden for so long! We filled a pick-up with items for a local charity! When that cleaning crew came I felt so proud of what I had accomplished. I have to admit, I still have my problem spots, but for the most part, the clutter has been much better. Also, I anxiously await this years Christmas gift that became more than just a cleaning of my house. It was a LOAD off my mind as well! Jeanette & her little Brat Fliggy! Dear Jeanette and Fliggy, Thank you for sharing your de-cluttering story. I have always said, "You cant clean if you dont have surfaces." Love, Pam

I want you to know you are exceptional. Going within, be- coming aware of self-defeating behavior and doing something positive about it is not for the weak at heart. It takes real guts to give an honest self-appraisal and then do the work after the light bulb goes on. Thats what you are doing and it is just fantastic. Thank you for the love and joy you bring to me each day in emails that reflect your wisdom and success at harnessing your adorable and immature inner brat. My mission since 1977 has been to help the chronically dis- organized find peace, joy, love, beauty and order in the most important place on earth; home. If any of you are interested, there is a webcast today for Sweet Adelines International competion. My chorus competes tonight at 5:54 ( Hawaii time.) We are called Pride of Portland. Here is the address to cut and paste: http://www.sweetadelineintl.org/webcast.cfm Wish us luck! We want to be in the top ten internationally. Aloha!!!

Dear Pam and Nelly, THANK YOU for that message yesterday! I love the words to the traditional hymn: "Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free, Tis a gift to come round where we ought to be, And when we find ourselves in a place just right Twill be in the valley of love and delight When true simplicity is gained, To bow and to bend we wont be ashamed To turn, turn, will be our delight Till by turning, turning we come round right." It seems like so many of my days with four children are spent running in circles. Dirty clothes, clean clothes, meals to prepare, dishes to wash, and get ready for bed, and repeat the circle tomorrow. But in loving what I must do because I LOVE the people I am serving, I find peace in the middle of it all. Thanks for the challenge to simplify and glorify God in the mundane ( I prefer the word simple!) and to be, as the apostle Paul said, CONTENT! Love ya, April ( Kates mom)

I loved this email from a very happy person! Its so wonderful to be alive! I truly am living out my childhood fantasy: Playing in the housekeeping area with real food, real cars, real vacuums, real children, real make up, real scissors, a real sewing machine, a two wheeler, a real computer, a real husband, real money, etc..etc..etc. What a journey! When I truly honor the part of me that likes to have fun and pretend, I find that I have more joy than I know what to do with. Love, Anita & Hannah Real things havent changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong. Laura Ingalls Wilder

Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm. — Robert Louis Stevenson

I interrupt my surprises with a testimonial that might inspire you to want to get the ELM ( Everybody Loves Money) DVD. If you buy it, it will help me pay my webmaster, bandwidth company, and all the people who help to keep the Brat Factor alive. Okay its really a commercial, but its from a happy customer! Testimonial: Just received my ELM DVD and LOVE IT! You are among one of the most creative people I know. I cannot wait to use your ideas to give money to my children for Christmas, and I know they will begin wondering what I will do for their next gifts. lol Please let us all know when you are ready with your next DVD. Jane Dear Jane, I love to come up with funny and fun ways to give money! Just this morning the thought came: you could buy a package of cute socks, open up the package and slip bills into each sock, put them in a gift box with a printed sign that says: “SOCK IT AWAY!” ( Sock it away is a term implying money is being saved. All my ideas stem from words we use with money in mind.) When we produced the ELM DVD, I picked 10 of my favorite ideas ( I have 150, now 151 because of the sock idea) and demonstrated just how to “make” the gifts. I love giving cash in creative ways, especially for Christmas, because I know the gift will be used on exactly what the recipient wants and most likely at sale prices after the holidays. The ideas are easy, quick and very fun! Everything you need can be bought the next time you go to the grocery store! The ELM ( Everybody Loves Money) DVD would also make a great gift in itself for a busy mom, dad or grandma!. We are all so busy and with my ideas, you cut out “shopping” for the right gift. You just make a trip to the bank and the grocery store. To get the ELM DVD go to www.housefairy.org, click on orders and scroll down to it. Happy non-shopping! Pam

I wanted to say thank you. I am one of those people who until today just didnt quite get why I was getting the emails every day. I know that I signed up for them, but today it just clicked. You brought up what we are leaving and teaching our children. And it made sense. My room is a junk pot. So is my kitchen half the time and well heck most of my house. However we have always made our kids keep their rooms clean. The whole "do as I say not as I do mentality." However this morning, reading the 365 email you sent, something clicked. Why do I not clean my room? Why is it that I feel its okay for me to live in mess and disorganization? Part of it I honestly believe is because I dont feel worthy of having a nice space. Ive had 4 children in 8 years. Ive gained 75 lbs since having children and I dont feel good about myself any longer. I rarely wear makeup or have clothes that I love. I live in jeans and oversized shirts. I no longer value myself. And today something clicked. It was like a light bulb moment. How can I teach my children to value themselves if their mother doesnt? Today is going to be a changing day for me. Ive already started walking daily. But now I am going to include more. I am going to start requiring myself to be more. Thank you. I get it now. N Norfolk Va ( US Navy wife and Mother to 4) I cried when I read Nikoles email. When we are young moms its so easy to get lost in the raising of our babies. I cannot wait to hear about the changes she will make in her life in the next year! In Sidetracked Home Executives: From Pigpen to Paradise we wrote about taking care of yourself first like the airlines tell us: "If there is a sudden drop in cabin pressure an oxygen mask will drop down. If you have children traveling with you, put your mask on first and then assist your children." I know by the tone of Nikoles email, that she does not want her children to grow up and feel they dont deserve the best. By changing her attitude, she is going to change her circumstances AND theirs. Blessings to Nikole and blessings to her husband for choosing to defend our country. Pam

Boo!

I love knowing that my thoughts have a frequency and my feelings let me know at any point in time what frequency I’m on and of course my thoughts always match. What fun! At any point in time I can change my frequency by changing my thoughts and my feelings will follow.

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. Author Unknown

"Start by doing whats necessary; then do whats possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." Saint Francis of Assisi

Good morning Pam, Well, isnt this funny?! Here I am writing you a reply for the second time this morning! The first reply just got washed out into cyber-space somewhere! In my concern to write you the perfect reply, I got sidetracked, decided to settle my mind with reading some of my other emails and "poof!" there went my reply! Oh silly me. Anyway, I have been receiving your emails for about a month now after I couldnt stand it any longer! I had heard about your site from Flylady and had heard so many wonderful testi- monials that I just had to find out for myself. I have had this revelation today: loving yourself is not the same thing as indulging yourself. A few weeks ago I really felt like I "deserved" to sleep in, lounge in my PJs, scratch the dishes, not tidy up the house, you know the story. By the end of the day I was a mess. I was mean, grouchy and not happy at all. All of this because I felt like I wanted to treat myself to some "me time." I realized that all of that self-indulgence wasnt a good thing for me at all. Then this morning ( my birthday) I felt like sleeping in. You know, lounging around, getting those extra luxurious moments in bed. I knew that I wouldnt feel any better after staying in bed longer. In fact, I would probably feel worse. But there was a part of me that really wanted to! I knew then that that part of me was my brat, Mandy. What a revelation! I will try to be de- liberate in hearing her voice today and to do what I want to do for my birthday and not let her sabotage me. Pam, I thank you so much for your wisdom and willingness to share it with all of us. I have been praying for years for a mentor. God has provided me with you and Flylady to encourage and teach me. Thank you so much and dont ever stop! We all need you! Gratefully yours in Northern Michigan, Beth

"There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle." —Albert Einstein

Pam and Nelly, I just had to write and tell you about the success that I have been having with your card system. I wrote awhile back to tell you that I had been sticking with the cards for 2 weeks straight. Well, its been a full month now! I cant believe it. Im still doing it! Now, dont get me wrong, Nina and Alexa sometimes get their way, and cards get passed without actually getting done. But the majority of the time, all the cards get done. Im so excited to be starting my next month, and am actually getting excited about sitting down and sorting out all the November cards to their proper days of the week. How amazing is that?! I have been a Flybaby for about 3 or 4 years now, and while I would start and stop, I was never able to stick with it like I have the card system. I believe that I have finally figured out the reason for that. I love to make lists, and could get detailed lists of things to do, and make routines for myself till the cows came home, but the actual doing and checking off of the lists never really worked. I have discovered that Im not a list checker. I need to actually hold the card in my hand, and then move it to the next day after I have done it. Something about moving that card, and then picking out the next random card in the set is what does it for me. I keep the cards mixed up, so that my days are never exactly the same. All the same daily stuff gets done, but I never know what card is going to pop up next, then there are the different weekly, monthly, and season cards in there to give me something different to do. I think its the randomness, and the physical holding of the card that have done the trick. Thank you so much for everything that you do. My husband, who is in the Military, is coming home for two weeks of leave. This will be the true test to see if the card system will continue to work for me. It will also be neat to see if any of my cards get done without me doing them :) Thanks again! Carrie, Nina, and Alexa To order the 3x5 cardfile system, just click here. The Brat Factory

Dear Pam, I cannot thank you enough for the whole Brat Factor concept!! It has totally put a stop to dealing with temptation! Its always so much easier to see what someone else should be doing. We so tend to make excuses for our own behavior. "Ive had a rough day, I deserve this Twinkie." "I really dont feel well enough to exercise today." "Im a hard working adult and if I want one more helping of casserole instead of green beans, by golly, Ill have it." Now, however, I instantly think of how I would answer a child who hadnt eaten his vegetables and I dont want to act like a child. I think of how I would think about someone else who was over weight and continued to eat too much daily. I think of how I would think about someone else who was sitting on the couch reading when there was a thick layer of dust on the furniture and a kitchen full of dirty dishes. It feels sooooo good to feel like a "good girl" at age 55. Now, when I sit and read I know I truly have earned that break and my house looks so much better and my weight is going down. Im not perfect; Im a work in progress and always will be. But Im sure creating better habits and am so much more content with my life. Thank You Sandy

Hi Nelly! My mom gave me a surprise pedicure today! It was a reward for helping her not fall off the flylady wagon this week! I love to give her a hard time, by trying to distract her with all this stuff that she SHOULD be doing for ME ( guilt is a great motivator :o). She told me that if I help during the week, she will be sure and have a fun surprise for me every Wednesday, that is our easy day! What a great mom! My toes are pretty pink and she even did flowers on my big toes-with sparkly polish! Love, Ashley Hi Ashley, Isnt it great to be good? My mom told me I get to have watermelons on my toes, but I have to weigh 125 pounds! I have just a few pounds to go, but now its fall and I dont want watermelon toes. She says that by next summer Ill for sure get the watermelons because for sure we will weigh 125! I love that you got to have flower toes! You are so lucky! I wonder what will happen next Wednesday???? Dont you love that you have such an awesome mom? Have a great day. Love, Nelly

Dear Pam, Thank you very much for recording the Happiness File book. I love my tattered copy and it has been one of the books Ive cherished over the years. When I heard that you had recorded it, Ill bet I was one of the first to download it onto my IPod. It has been a life-saver over the last few weeks! With all the negative news and resultant negative people so worried and fearful, listening to your calm and peaceful voice, has really given me relief and has helped me get back to a peaceful place regardless of what is going on "out there." I am so thankful that you took the time to make one of my favorite books available as an audio book. Your wise direction is like a lighthouse in a storm. I know I am responsible for how I react to each and every circumstance and in these times, you have helped me see I have such an influence on my friends and family and when I keep my focus on what I can do to make things wonderful at home, I KNOW I am about my Fathers business. Keep up your Good work, Marsha B. Pam here: The message of the Happiness File is all about focusing on goodness, wonder, humor, light, hope, peace and personal power. I had an amazing time recording the book I co-wrote with my sister in 1982. It was such fun to re-live that time and see that truth doesnt change with time. What was true when we wrote that book in 1982 is still true today. To get the Happiness File Audio Book go to www.happinessfile.com and you can listen to a sample before you decide if you want to purchase it. When we keep our focus on making our homes the best they can be for us, we are actually helping our country and our planet. "When there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character. When there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home. When there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation. When there is order in the nation, there will be peace on earth." Anonymous

Our inner brats are the self-indulgent, self-defeating thinking that creates behavior that is less than mature and then causes circumstances we dont like. I found by giving that self-indulgent, often immature part of me a name and imagining her to be about nine-years-old ( because the behavior that results from the "brat" thinking is typical of that age child I have a better chance at disciplining that part of me which loves to operate under the radar of my conscious mind. I have known my inner brat for 5 1/2 years and still that part of me tries to call the shots! I have to think it will be an on-going battle with myself, but I am determined to win and make it fun on the way. Your best weapon is your AWARNESS of those "bratty thoughts" before they turn into actions that turn into circumstances you dont want in your life.

Why would I compare or compete? Its so much simpler to be what I am. Byron Katie

As we verge on the holiday season, we need to really watch our darling, little, fun loving, and holiday indulgent inner brats. I will share with you my plans to control Nellys tendency to spend, eat and drink too much in the name of THE HOLIDAYS and I invite you to share with all of us your ideas for controlling your little imp through this festive time. For me, its going to start in the stores! They are out to get our brats attention and they do a very fine job of it! Lets win this holiday season! I expect to pretend using my cell phone talking Nelly out of stuff she just has to have and Ill make sure the ringer is turned off.

Meditate not because youll feel holy, but so youll know that theres no diffenece between the times that you sit and the times you dont. Daniel Levin, The Zen Book

I think St. Paul was referring to his little brat when he said in Romans 10:7 "I do not do the thing which I want, but I do the thing which I hate." Then he went on to say in the 18th verse, "Yet I know that it does not fully dominate me ( that is in my flesh); but as far as good is concerned, the choice is easy for me to make, but to do it is difficult for me." Its so easy to make New Years Resolutions! When we decide to win whether its to get organized, lose weight, exercise, be kind and compassionate, whatever, the decision is very easy, doing it is the hard part. Discipline is remembering what you REALLY want and then minding. Its good to know we are in such good company!

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life youve imagined. Henry David Thoreau

Dear Pam, I didnt want to write to you until I pulled off my brilliant idea which I did tonight! I invited my neighbors( six moms my book club ( five moms, three grandmothers and two happily kidless women)and four women from my work ( Im a part time ER nurse) to an ELM Party! I bought your video, Everybody Loves Money, last year and have used every one of your brilliant ideas for giving cash as gifts. My invitation read: "Get a jump on your Christmas shopping by coming to my house for pizza, beverages and a bunch of funny ways to give "cash" for Christmas presents. Ive got the ideas, all you have to do is add the cash." I showed the video and my "audience" was hysterical with laughter. I honestly felt they did not want anyone else to see this video, so they could come across as being so clever. I had all the ingredients for them to assemble their gifts and we even wrapped our presents. I felt like I was at the North Pole and so did everyone else! I played Christmas music and the main talk of the evening as we played with your ideas was: WE DONT HAVE TO SHOP! WE HAVE MADE GIFTS THAT EVERYONE WILL LOVE. WE CAN’T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS. Thank you for creating this DVD! I am now a celebrity among my friends AND I also have my Christmas presents wrapped and it isnt even Halloween! Merry Christmas! June Mason Wow, I never thought about having an ELM Party! But why not? What a gift we give by relieving people of the pressures of finding "just the right gift." Hey the money we save by staying home and not going to the mall can be added to our gifts. Money always works as a gift, but its not so festive if all you do is write a check to the recipient. With my ideas, you get to use your creativity, your gift of humor and at the same time give something no one will have to return. The ELM Everybody Loves Money DVD is $9.95 plus postage and handling and if you go to www.housefairy.org and click "orders" you will see how to purchase the DVD. Get your Christmas shopping done early! All you have to do is add the money! Merry Christmas! Pam

Babysteps.

There was an experiment in which young fish were put in a tank with a glass barrier that separated them from other fish. When the fish became adults the barrier was removed but they always stopped at the exact place where the barrier had been. Old habits die hard. Our mind sets limitations, but our Spirit knows no boundaries and is not limited by precedent. The notion, "thats the way its always been done," can just go to the fish. Reading about that experiment made me ask myself what my non-existent glass barriers are. I remember when I married Terry twenty years ago I kept putting up the imaginary glass barrier of my first husbands mean spirit. If I got to writing and stayed up into the wee hours, I felt like I was going to be in trouble. I kept expecting to get in trouble for some of the most innocuous actions and it took time to be free of the actions of my first husband even though he was out of my life. What a waste of energy! Eckhart Tolle says in The Power of Now, "Many patterns can simply be dropped once you realize you have a choice."

Pam, I loved the email about "Rituals" instead of routines, and music to motivate! I work at a school as an aide. Our school district has invested in a new and innovative training program for all the staff, at all of our schools. It is a "brain based" training program. That means that it is based on scientific findings about how the brain learns. One aspect of the training uses music to signal different activity changes and actions in the childrens schedules. When they hear a certain song it may mean its "clean up time, line up for recess time, P.E., Math etc. I never thought of using it for home. At school it really helps eliminate most conflicts that come when a student doesnt listen to directions or refuses to follow instructions. ( Sounds like my Nellie.) Music "Makes it Fun" :) It helps make it easier for the kids at school who would argue with the teacher. Its hard to argue with music! It also makes the "transitions" from one type of activity to another go VERY smoothly. Almost like magic! Just think what it can do for my brat and me! Love, from Lisa and Nellie in Kansas

Love your daily wisdom words..... I love sharing them with friends and family. For your consideration: ". . .to know yourself is to forget yourself. This is to say that when we make friends with ourselves we no longer have to be so self-involved. Its a curious twist: making friends with ourselves is a way of not being so self-involved anymore. When we are not so self-involved, we begin to realize that the world is speaking to us all of the time. Its a wonderful world, but we often miss it. When we feel resentful or judgmental, it hurts us and it hurts others. But if we look into it we might see that behind the resentment there is fear and behind the fear there is a tremendous softness. There is a very big heart and a huge mind - a very awake, basic state of being. To experience this we begin to make a journey, the journey of unconditional friendliness toward the self that we already are." - Pema Chodron ( from To Know Yourself is to Forget Yourself) Sincerely and gratefully, Heather and Sr Mary Gargantuan

Hi, my name is Susan and my best friend is my inner brat Grungelle, Your 365 surprise about remembering what you really want, really sparked with me. I always tried to remember what it was like being a kid since growing up. I probably know more about that than what it is like being a grown up. Your line in the Brat Factor Progress Report for training new behavior by writing our brats reason for this change to happen gave me this amazing insight: My little Grungelle is actually the originator of my dreams of how I really want things to be! I know because I have been reminded of the fact by the progress reports. What I want now is what she was dreaming about too many years ago to admit. This is a huge turning point and is helping to bring things into line in my life. Thank you! Susan and Grungelle working together To download free Progress Reports, click here. The Brat Factory

An exercised dog is a happy dog. The Dog Whisperer. Dogs are pack animals and so are we humans. Thats probably why we get along so well with each other. Ill go one step further on the Dog Whisperers notion and say, "An exercised human is a happy human."

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt

What thoughts do you have when you fill up at the gas tank? I caught myself the other day as I watched the numbers on the pump whirl, thinking "what if" thoughts of fear, which lead to worry thoughts of inflation which would have inevitably, lead to a file in my brain full of lack and past financial struggle thoughts, but I stopped myself. You know in the old movies when an actress was hysterical the leading man always slapped her to stop the hysteria? I did the equivalent of that slap, by saying out loud, "stop it!" Caroline Myss said, "What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body." I made out a 3x5 card with an up-lifting message ( below) to read while I am fuelling my car in the future. It will take the place of those thoughts I dont want to see show up in my experience. Right now I keep my mind stayed on God. I turn away from conditions and circumstances and I see through them to a greater spiritual truth. I cannot be apart from my good. My good is assured me by God the indwelling essence of my life.

Blame is a sure way to stay in a problem.

Laugh at yourself and at life, and nothing can touch you. Louise Hay You Can Heal your Life

Dear Pam, I wanted to send you my testimonial regarding the Brat Factor Progress Report. When I first saw it, I thought: "If my brat wins once I lose for the day ( my goal was to stop eating between meals) so I might just as well eat my head off afterwards!" But I have been using it for a week and the awareness it brings me is amazing. Yes I lost a couple of times but earlier today I was at the store eyeing the Salt & Vinegar Pringles ( Im addicted!) and I gently told my brat: "Didnt you want to be slim and beautiful?" ( Thats the goal she wrote on the Progress Report.) After that, off I went to pay for my water, cucumber and apples! Thank you so much! Sandrine & proud Junior in Paris, France To download free Progress Reports just click here. The Brat Factory

Here is a response to one of my surprises. Our brats are so self-centered. How about having a random acts of kindness challenge. We must do something for someone else, possibly the person that irritates us the most, anonymously, then see what happens. You might even want to compile these in some kind of e-mail so everyone can catch the results. Thanks for pointing out my brat. Im not sure that I am totally in tune with her. But I do catch a glimpse of her and dont like what I see. Its kind of like running from your shadow LOL. Sincerely, Rhonda and Louise

"Surprise, surprise, surprise! All brats love a surprise. So today, your mission is to surprise your brat by taking 15 minutes to give your brat a surprise. Anything that you know would delight your brat from a trip to the playground to sit on a swing, making jello for dinner, playing with your kids craft or art supplies, sitting down at the piano, or even finding a quiet spot to read for 15 minutes. Something fun or pampering! Have a 15 minute blast! Love, Sandy and her mom

Hi Pam. Each night when I get the munchies I make a list of what I want to eat the next day for each meal and snack. As I look over the list of everything I can eat tomorrow it makes me feel better. Its like a little written promise with myself; its okay to not eat tonight because look at all the different foods I can enjoy tomorrow and still maintain my goals of weight loss and healthy eating! When tomorrow comes I already know what I can eat and when, plus I get to check off what Ive eaten!! ( Im very motivated by box-checking!) Karen

My approach to our little brats is very simplistic. All I want us to do is become aware of our under-the- radar-of-our-conscious-mind thinking so we can behave in ways that create well-being. I decided to "play" with the concept in a light-hearted way and so I named that self-indulgent, self-defeating "voice" within me, Nelly. I believe we were meant to glorify God within us. We are all children of God and as His children we have been given the blessed gift of choice. We get to be a mess if we want to. We get to be fat if we want to, spend more than we make if we want to OR we can "get a hold of ourselves" ( that immature, self-indulgent, often hurt little part of us) and in kindness and love ( two more gifts weve been given by God) shed light on our brats and remind ourselves what we REALLY want. Remember, discipline is remembering what you REALLY want. I know you all want to thrive. I know you want clean, cozy, happy homes. I know you want free time to be creative, to read and learn and to play. It all starts within you. Its within you that you get Gods strength. Its within you that you receive His love. Its within you that you decide to be organized. Being alert and aware to the self- defeating voice takes practice and practicing that wont be admitting you have a split personality. ( People with split personalities arent aware they have turned into another person.) All we are doing with our brats is becoming aware of thoughts that wont create well-being. My guess is your brat thinks stuff like: Ill put that away later. Its not fair I have to do that. I want to play on the computer now. I dont have to do that cause Im big now and I can do what I want. When we grow up we are suppose to give up our childish ways, but we dont always do that. We are such a self-indulgent society and it does not serve us well. My goal is to be mature but still have child-like qualities, not childish ways. Childlike qualities to me are faith, optimism, curiosity, enthusiasm, joy, staying teachable, etc. Childish ways to me are selfishness, rebellion, tantrums, over-indulgence, slovenly ways etc. There is no danger in recognizing self-defeating and self-indulgent behavior and doing something about it. Quite the opposite is true. We have been given the ability to self-destruct. Its all up to us. Flylady says there is no Magic Pill, but I think there is! Our brats are little pills sometimes and they are magic. Over the years we have ignored our inner brats and they have been able to function under-the-radar of our consciousness and stay alive all these years. They crave our attention and if we will be kind, compassionate and loving with ourselves we will be amazed at what these little pills will do!

When I was a young mother of three my husband got caught by his territory director having an affair with one of our waitresses. My third child was three weeks old. I felt like what Mrs. Edwards must feel like. Back then I went to my minister and he had me do a "so-ing" exercise. He had me "so" myself into a place in my heart and mind where I could let go and let God guide me. So I said: "My husband is having an affair." The minister said, "So.." "He has another woman." "So.." "We have children." "So.." "He might leave us." "So.." "Well have financial problems." "So.." "Im furious." "So.." "I might get an awful disease." "So.." "I might die." "So.." "Well, if I die, the kids will be motherless." "So.." "I dont want my kids to be motherless." "So.." The so-ing exercise forced me to get my human reasoning out of the way because there is ALWAYS a bigger picture to our problems. Notice in order to use the so-ing exercise you cant ask questions and its by asking questions that we are able to grow as we challenge lifes problems. Run a problem through your so-ing machine and you will end up turning to a higher authority than your human reasoning and then ask for guidance. I read an article about an elderly woman in Philadelphia who walked to the store every day in an area with a fair amount of crime. One day as she went to the market a young man came running by, grabbed her purse and kept running. Spontaneously she uttered one word: "so." The young man startled by such a simple and powerful response, stopped, turned back to her, dropped the purse and ran off. So yourself out of a problem and latch onto your inner guidance.

From a subscriber: When my kids were young ( they are all adults now) I was on your 3x5 cardfile system and when the neighbor children would come to my house, I made up games for them to play. One game I called "Beat the Clock" and I would give everyone a Hula Hoop to place on the floor. Then I would throw all the "3x5 job cards" that needed to be done, into the air. Whatever cards landed in their hoop were their jobs. The kids would race around the house to be the first to complete the tasks. Everyone always got a Popsicle and my kids loved the extra help doing their chores. One boy came to visit me after he was 30 years old and told me that he cleaned my toilets more than he ever cleaned his own! My niece also made me promise to never tell her mother that she knew HOW to clean ovens and stove tops. But she certainly cleaned mine, and had fun doing it. Your fantastic card system has been such a blessing. I was definitely a SHE and proud to say I still am. I agree with you, LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! To order the 3x5 cardfile system click here. The Brat Factory

Heres a great idea from a subscriber: I had a revolutionary idea to share with you. My brat, Sarah, loves to snack. Not always a big snack, just a run-into-the-kitchen-take-a-bite kind of snack. Well, I got a great idea for that. Take a vegetable tray and fill it with fresh veggies: carrot sticks, broccoli, celery sticks, peppers, cucumber slices, etc. Then in the center, put some non-fat yogart, some low-fat peanut butter or your favorite salad dressing. Then, whenever your brat says, "Im hungry! Gimme a cookie!" you can say, "Well, theres fresh veggies and dip in the fridge! Help yourself!" Youre getting extra veggies, youre using them up before they go bad, youve got fresh veggies already prepared if you wanted to make a soup and youre not stuffing your face with cookies and chocolate! Sarah loves this, as she gets to dip them in her favorite dip, peanut butter, and for us, its extra protein too ( were vegetarians). Hopefully others can use this idea! Bright Blessings! Nada and Sarah

I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself. Maya Angelou

Your consciousness put you where you are now. Your con- sciousness will either keep you there or lift you to a better position. Its up to you. Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life I met Louise Hay ( through her books) in the early eighties. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer as a young woman. Medical authority could do no more for her. With that terminal sentence she was forced to look for healing from somewhere else. She turned to God and was guided to look within her own consciousness for reasons for the cancer. Her book You Can Heal Yourself is an amazing story of her healing. She has to be in her eighties now and she is still writing and working to help people who have the courage to look within and do a consciousness check. I received this email from a woman who is doing just that. I have been chronically ill for five and a half years. I have a painful muscular condition and have also developed osteo-arthritis, resulting in a knee replacement at 50, with the second one scheduled before this Christmas, 2 years after the first. I have tried to keep positive ( so I thought not giving up work, still keeping involved in work for a childrens literature charity etc. Until I visited a naturopath recently, I had no idea of the burning anger I felt towards my condition and the drugs I have to take to keep going. I now realise the burning pain it has caused me emotionally as well as physically. Well, the naturopath must have been listening to you! She has told me to give my condition a name and not to be angry at it, but to realise it needs care and attention to make my body well again. Immediately I thought of "Sally." Sally is the nickname I used to go by – its an English thing as Sally is often listed as the "short form" of Sarah! It is the name used for me when I was a little girl and reminds me of the pain of immigrating to New Zealand when aged eight, and leaving my home and wonderful Gran behind. Its also the name my late father wanted for me but Mum insisted I be Christened "Sarah" as it would be "more dignified" when I grew up. Yeah right! Still waiting for the dignity! So my illness is now "Sally" and I am learning not to fight her every day, but to recognise the pain she is going through – and so causing me. I must admit I had had some doubts about "naming my Brat" before, but now it makes so much sense as I can see that "Sally" is the part of me that hurts both emotion- ally and physically. So my aim now is not to "kill her off" like Ive wanted to do to my illness, but to nurture & care for her so she ( and I) dont hurt anymore. Thank you Sarah ( and Sally) in New Zealand

To bring your mind home means to bring the mind into the state of Calm Abiding through the practice of mindfulness. Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying Part of mindfulness for me is staying alert to Nellys bright ideas, allowing the ones that nourish my well-being and nixing those that would sabotage my good intentions. I have to remember she is nine years old and about half her suggestions are very immature. I went to a party recently which was to host a quartet in my chorus. The quartet is one of the top quartets in the world ( Sweet Adelines) and the party was a fund- raiser to help them compete in Hawaii in November. One of the organizers "dared" any of us to jump in the pool and she would pay $10.00 for each person who did. Well, Nelly wanted to jump! Oh did she ever want to jump. During my argument with her at least ten party goers let their inner brats win and were splashing around in their party clothes. Nelly tried to tell me, "Its for such a good cause." But being the head of my head I told her, "I will give them $10 for NOT going in. And then I reminded Nelly that we really hate being wet and cold and that would be our fate for the rest of the evening if we jumped in." I wasnt exactly in a state of Calm Abiding, but I was dry and warm and I donated to the cause.

I read somewhere in an article how the prototype for the standard of a kilogram was established in 1889. The pro- totype is made of platinum-iridium and kept in a dark, sealed container inside a vault in France from which it is rarely removed. ( That tickled me! Who and why would anyone want to get that thing out and look at it?) The story made the news because apparently the mass of the prototype may be changing slightly. Despite the best human efforts, minds and technology, this kilo standard is in fact changing for some unexplainable reason. Havent I heard "the only constant is change"? When we are able to accept change then we are free to move with the flow of the river of our life experience and we remain at peace and can enjoy the ride. Recently my friend Marla Cilley ( FlyLady) and I simultaneously got swept into some unforeseen waters, but we both know when two or more are gathered together for the good of all concerned, there is a power that is all love and there is nothing for us to do but ride out the experience with grace. We are still enjoying the ride and the unexpected good that has come from this and will continue to do so.

You are the only person you can ever really know intimately. If you believe life is eternal you are going to live with yourself forever so youd better get to know and love yourself.

You are like a snowflake. There are no two of you alike. Even identical twins are not identical. So where you go, whatever you do, you bring who you are ( your individuality into the mix. Embrace your uniqueness. Part of growing is accepting that who you are is a gift. When you realize that your you-ness was given to you it can become a fasci- nating journey to discover more about who you are. Getting to know your inner brat is a positive step in getting to know this precious gift youve been given, YOU.

When you let your brat get her way by doing something that is self-defeating, dont beat yourself up, put yourself down and do it all over again! Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again,as a gentle and good parent would.

This is a re-run and I know summer is over and re-runs are out, but this lovely persons story is so typical of all of us. It is so easy for us to look on the other side of the fence and wish before we think. Somebody said, "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it." Our inner brats are here for us to look back only for the purpose of awaking in the "right now" and realizing that this moment is all we have. This moment with all the people we love. This moment with the circumstances we face. This moment with the promise that if we really enjoy this moment we are practicing to enjoy the next moment and the next and the next. We really get a second chance at having a great childhood, because when we get to know our inner brat we can be the benevolent, happy and understanding parent we may not have had when we were growing up. Love, Pam Dear Pam, I have discovered more than one brat inside me. One is a protective, raging teenager ( Mandy) who gets on the defensive too easily. One is just a happy kid ( I call her Suzie Q, Sweetie Pie) who likes to have kid-type fun. ( Teenager does too, provided she is doing it to humor a kid and doesnt have to admit its for her too.) But here is the story that compel- led me to write to you: I had noticed a family at my daughters school all year; the children look like they came straight out of a fairy tale. One day, they were playing with their dad at the park when we were there. He was so gentle and caring with his children. He laughed and played with them. They even included my children in their games. As we were leaving the park, I heard the thought in my head, "I wish I could be in that family." I immediately envisioned myself as his wife and thought, No way! I am happily married to a wonderful man who is a wonderful husband and father. I have never even been tempted to stray! Where in the world would such a sick thought come from?! I was angry with myself. Then I realized that it was not my desire to be his wife, but the desire of someone within me to have a gentle, loving father. Wow! I discovered a scared, shy little girl. Shes the one the teenager is so busy protecting. She just wanted to have a safe, loving family to be in instead of the angry, hurtful home I grew up in. I am enjoy- ing getting to know her. She is so sweet. Many tears later I am finding the peace that has eluded me for so long. Now that little one smiles sometimes. We havent settled on a name yet, but in time I know we will. Mom and her three sweet brats

In response to the 365 surprise on September 15 ( see the archived 365s on our website by clickig on the Brat Reform School) about taking a picture of your home, this is what Sharon had to say. What a great idea! The cameras eye is totally without the emotional filters that my eye has. I think I will also try that idea to take a photo of myself in the mirror occasionally. With my face covered by the camera, I can get an objective look at how clothes fit and whether they are really appropriate for my body.

Now that the kids are back in school, this is a great time to streamline their rooms. Get any and everything out of their drawers and closets that dont fit and are out of season. Children are much more likely to keep their rooms neat and tidy if they dont have constipated drawers and closets. Parents have to be the laxative here, because kids cant do it alone, its too much. While two of my grandchildren were gone for a week last summer, I helped my daughter ream their rooms. They have missed NOTHING we took in three trips to Goodwill. This is a great time to cull your clothes as you pack away summer and bring out fall. We were on vacation for three weeks and packed all our favorite summer clothes. As I was unpacking from the trip it hit me I still have a bunch of summer stuff I didnt take on the trip which means its stuff I dont like that much. I refuse to store any of the summer clothes I didnt take on the vacation! Yep, another trip to Goodwill is on the horizon. With the kids in school its also an excellent time to sign up for the House Fairy. Join the more than 15,000 amazed parents who have watched the House Fairy make her magic in their homes. Also, we just lifted the two-year membership limit and for $15 you belong to the House Fairy Program for as long as you need her and for as long as the House Fairy is around. Its sort of a life-time membership. www.housefairy.org

"The definition of maturity is the ability to delay pleasure."

I use my camera after I clean ( my boys room) so that they can see how it is suppose to look after they clean it. It works, they try to match it toy for toy, shelf for shelf and even under the bed. They love having an example to guide them. Kim Galvan Dear Pam, Your story about looking through a newly developed batch of photos had great timing. I was just commenting to my Dear Sister-In-Law about that very thing. I was taking a picture with our old camera and my DS( 4) wanted to "see the picture" immediately afterwards like he can on the digital. I laughed at his puzzled look and remarked about when you had to wait until the roll was finished, take them to the store and wait a week for them to come back. Then, I remembered years ago seeing a man on a television show telling how to get great photos of kids. He gave tips like: Take your time Get down on their level Fill the frame with their body or face Zoom in on little hands and feet ( they grow so fast) Get them near a window or outside in natural light But the last tip was the kicker: CLEAR THE BACKGROUND OF CLUTTER! That was a tip I used faithfully until I found you and Flylady. Before grabbing the camera, Id do a mad dash and stash, or even worse, shove everything to the side and just keep the little angel in the "clean area." Ive been flying for a few years now and Ive often thought about how much I needed that gentle flywashing in those early days with my boys. Photos are just another way. With little ones, our home always has toys on the floor, but those are appropriate, dare I say necessary, for kids pics. At least now there are no piles of laundry, stacks of newspapers and dirty dishes to remove prior to our little modeling sessions.

Photo Op! In my chaotic slob days we didnt have digital cameras and I remember being excited to bust open a new pack of developed pictures to see if Id got any good shots of the kids. Inevitably Id be shocked at the extent of the mess in my home, which was the backdrop for the babies. A photo of my mess made it easier to see! I received an email from a subscriber who uses her cell phones photo option to see areas in her home objectively. She said it has really helped her improve the neatness in her home.

Micki, one of our subscribers sent us this. I am habit by John Di Lemme I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me, and I will do them automatically. I am easliy managed; you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done, and I will do it quickly and correctly. I am the servant of all great men and women, and all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine, plus the intel- ligence of a human being. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin, it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you. Who am I? I am Habit.

I havent been getting your emails too long, so maybe you have already experienced my lightbulb moment. This occurred while I was pondering your message yesterday, "Remember." For me, it was a positive message. Despite the shock, sadness, fear and difficult changes, I remember the strength, unity, courage, resolve and ideals of our great country. How does this apply to my brat, Laurelle? It recalls a Sunday School lesson I heard of a baseball coach who went to the mound and told his pitcher, "Dont throw high and away, theres where he likes to hit." How did he pitch? High and away because thats what he heard. I always tried to tell my children what they COULD DO, instead of what they couldnt. I tried to say "yes" or "well see" as often as possible, so my "no" really meant something. Ive decided to treat Laurelle the same way, always looking for the positive response or aspect instead of her always being a negative. Always trying to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. The Brat Factor is one of the first messages I look for when I turn on the computer each day. God Bless, Laurel ( and Laurelle)

Remember.

If I knew you and you knew me: we would love one another regardless of who I am or who you are. Eric Butterworth

My brat is always asking for something to eat and Im never successful at ignoring her or reasoning with her or making her ashamed of wanting to eat AGAIN! The next time she gets loud about needing something to eat RIGHT NOW, Im going to fix her a little snack and sit down with her and well talk about what shes really wanting instead of food. No TV or telephone or computer or book, just the two of us sharing a little snack and a little time. I think Teresas really got it right – our brats probably dont want what theyre asking for most of the time. They just need a little time with Mommy! Ill let you know how this works. Who knows, maybe in time I wont even have to fix the little snack. Maybe we can just sit down and work on whats really going on without putting something in our mouth! Pam, the "brat" concept is just the most awesome thing! Ive read so many self-help books and psychology books trying to understand and overcome the things about myself that I use to sabotage my life. And Ive been in therapy more than half my adult life. But here in these small, simple bits of advice and information from you and other readers, there is insight and information and practical, doable sug- gestions that I can really use to overcome my self-defeating habits. I may never know what made me act the way I do, but if I can just acknowledge it and find ways to improve it, thats all I need. God bless you – this is truly a ministry. Myra from TN

Dear Friends, I know each one of you, because we are the same. One of your common questions since I started receiving mail from SHEs in 1978 ( after writing Sidetracked Home Executives with my sister Peggy) has been: "Have you been looking in my windows?" You saw yourself in our books and you were happy to know that you were not alone. We are all the same. We laugh the same, we cry the same, we are capable of some of the biggest messes in the world, but we are awesomely made and we are capable of incredible feats. I know you and I love you because we are the same. In my 30 plus years of public speaking, I have been blessed to see you in a thousand audiences when you come together to learn and share your light. You are yummy bouquets of smiling, joyful, loving and beautiful flowers.) There is nothing more rewarding in this world for me than to see and hear that you are getting organized and loving it. Because when you get organized you are happier! Your mate is happier, your babies are happier and the world becomes a better place. Thats why you are here. You were created to be happy and make this world a better place. Speaking of being happy, FlyLady and I are so thrilled and excited to announce the premiere of the Happiness File Audio Book! In our career, Peggy and I wrote six books together, but the Happiness File generated more mail then all the others put together. We received thousands of loving letters from grateful readers who told us the book changed their lives. Marla Cilley was one of them. It is because of the Happiness Files gentle nudging to be happier by breaking down lifes common obstacles into manageable parts ( baby steps) that she was able to change her circumstances and with her love and God-given talents, grow into the woman she shares with you today. For more than ten years Marla has wanted to bring this book back into circulation and today it is a reality in a form that fits with our new technology. We wrote that book more than twenty years ago and what struck me as I was recording it for you is that the main ideas are as pertinent today as they were in the eighties. True, times change but life principles dont. We all need love and understanding. We need approval when weve done something good. We need encouragement and we all need to laugh, play and enjoy life. The Happiness File can help lead you to a deeper realization that all is well, you are loved and you can change your circumstances when you change your mind. It took me almost a year to record The Happiness File in a state-of-the-art sound studio and I feel as though Ive been in a cocoon with a beautiful butterfly. Now, because of FlyLady I can let this wonderful work fly in a new form! We are very pleased with this talking book and we cant wait to hear how it has changed your life! Go to www.happinessfile.com to enjoy chapter one, The Golden Halo, free of charge and to order the entire book if you wish. Love, Pam

Be silent and calm every evening and morning. This will produce an undaunted, unbreakable inner habit of happiness that will make you able to meet all the trying situations of everyday life. Paramahansa Yogananda

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning. JB Priestly If I were single and looking for Mr. Right, I would fall for JB Priestly. His take on the new day is yummy and tomorrow morning I am going to be delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning. Because you have read JB Priestlys words twice, maybe you have it memorized. Remembering Rumis words, "The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you, so dont go back to sleep," we want to wish you blessings in all your mornings. Love, Pam and Nelly

In the faces of men and women, I see God. Walt Whitman

Do not build up obstacles in your imagination. Norman Vincent Peale

The more we allow oursleves to unfold, the less likely we are to unravel. Rabbi Irwin Kula

Dear Pam, I loved your answer to "overwhelmed"!!! My favorite quote, and I have no idea who wrote it, is . . Attitude is more important than: Money Appearance Giftedness Past Failures Skills Life is 5% what happens to me And 95% how I react to it. I live this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My house is still a mess but I laugh a lot! Sandy

Dear Pam, Just read about the woman who only got attention when she was bad. I struggle with the same thing. Unfor- tunately I believe that many many people struggle with this. Im feeling overwhelmed at the moment and para- lyzed in my current situation and must work very very hard at overcoming all the old tapes and junk that I learned as a kid. Such a shame that all kids cant have a nice family. Seems so unfair; however, we all learn so much from whatever our situation. Thanks for listening. Dear Friend, At some point each of us has to stop analyzing and start doing. We SHEs tend to think too much. Whats fair, whats not and when we use words like paralyzed and over- whelmed, we literally set ourselves up to continue strug- gling. When I got organized in 1977 I quit using any words that described my old way. I just stopped it. Id start to say, "Im so overwhe. . . .and I made my- self say, ". . . . overjoyed with my new. . . uh. . .way of life." Or Id start to say, "Being a single mom is so dif. . . .uh. . . different from being married to an unhappy person, Im so much happier now." I got really good at stopping myself mid-sentence with a sentence that made me feel good. When I read your email it drug me down and when you wrote it it had to drag you down too. So I have re-written your email with an attitude adjustment. Dear Pam, Just read this and Im going to take positive action and do something about feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed in my current situation. There is nothing standing in the way of my success but my own attitude. Im the only one who can change my attitude and Im going to do it now. I dont have to work so hard at overcoming all the old tapes and junk that I learned as a kid, because I am an intelligent adult and NOW is what life is all about. Ive learned so many fabulous lessons from my childhood and I value them. I can have a nice family now like so many children have. I know life isnt fair, but as long as I quit blaming others for the way I am today, I have the power to change my circumstances. Thanks for listening.

Everything is a gift. The degree to which we are awake to this truth is a measure of our gratefulness, and gratefulness is a measure of our aliveness. Brother David Steindl-Rast

With each true friendship we build more firmly the foundation on which the peace of the whole world rests. Mahatma Gandhi Because we are SHEs, we often do not have a good track record of remembering birthdays, writing letters, sending thank you notes and doing those thoughtful things to let our friends know we love them. Our friends are true friends, because they know us and love us and understand that we are THE most thoughtful people in the world, unfortunately sometimes thats all we do, is think about it. Until the day comes when you do get gifts out on time, surprise your friends when they least expect it. Send flowers for no reason, write a real, snail mail, letter just because, call a friend you havent talked to in a while and tell her you love her. If your friends are anything like mine, when you do connect with them, its like no time has passed between you. I think thats because even though we may be disorganized they know we love them and true friends are about love not order. Thats why Gandhi said our friendships build the foundation on which the peace of the whole world rests.

You do not exist to impress the world. You exist to live your life in a way that will make you happy. Richard Bach I would like to add to Richards quote, "When you live your life in a way that will make you happy, you will impress the world."

When couples agree on parenting techniques, their united front creates a strong statement to their children and all are empowered to live more fully. When business part- ners agree on how to run the business, they prosper. When a person feeds his body nutritious foods in alignment with nature, he is healthier. "All the gifts have been given." We have everything within us to live a happy, fulfilled life. Our inner brats can stand in our way, but if when we awake in the morning we can come to an agreement that we are going to be in charge and we remind our inner brats that they will be happier, we set the tone for success. Be in charge with love.

I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him. Booker T. Washington

We will all have failures and rejections in life. The real question is how will you respond, with bitterness, envy and self-doubt, or with resilience and wisdom? Rabbi Harold Kushner

As you walk down the street you can tune your "receiver" into the world on any number of channels. Each way of tuning creates a very different street. But the street doesnt change. You do. Ram Dass

The world is enlarged for us, not by new objects, but by finding more affinities and potencies in those we have. Ralph Waldo Emerson We are all inspired to simplify our lives; that irrepres- sible urge to clean, purify, unclutter, update and organize. In this quest for a simpler life, we invariably run into the sheer volume of our accumulated stuff. This quest has become a phenomenon as evidenced by the thousands of books and seminars on the subject including Flyladies and mine. William Morris, the English craftsman and designer, advised people of the Victorian era to, "have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful and believe to be beautiful." This seems like an enlightened approach to the concept of sufficiency. Its interesting to note that the word "sufficiency" has as its origin of meaning, the word "satisfactory." The practice of sufficiency will redirect your energy of accumulating and acquiring into appreciation and gratitude. Lao Tzu, in The Tao of Peace wrote, "Great trouble comes from not knowing what is enough. Great conflict arises from wanting too much. When we know when enough is enough , there will always be enough."

To really listen to another human being and yourself, not just in words, proclaims a relationship that demands being in the moment, fully focused on what you are hearing. People yearn to be listened to. Ilan Rubenfeld In a study to test the listening skills of adults, the results indicated that the test subjects heard 25 to 50 percent of what was said, and regarded listening as a passive activity. Hearing is a physiological response, listening is an emotional and intellectual one; an act of caring and consideration. "We can only hear through the love that listens," wrote Paul Tillich. One of my eight-year-old granddaughters ( I have two that age) and I were talking and I remarked that her Mom was extra busy because of the move the family was making. My granddaughter replied, "Yeah I know she doesnt have time to listen to me." I asked, "How do you know she isnt listening?" She replied, "Well I told her all about a project I have and she just said, hmmm.\" I remember well ( and with regret) my "hmmm" days and I cant take them back. Oh what I missed because I was too busy with other things to hear through the love I had for my children.

Clarity is the state of seeing clearly, seeing things in a new light, like applying Windex to your soul. Cherie Carter-Scott

Dear Pam, After all of the House Fairy testimonials I have read and finally exploring your House Fairy website myself I decided to show my boys your site ( they are 2,4,& 6 years old) My two oldest watched your intro videos and ( like so many others!) ran right away to their room to pick up 5 toys. I figured after that, what have I got to lose? So I signed up for your program. Let me tell the skeptics, it is for even very small children! I thought my 2 year old was too little. The older ones had been flying with the House Fairy program for about one week, making their beds and picking up their toys. Well yesterday, I went to get my 2 year old out of his crib from his nap and said, "Look! Bed!" I looked and he had picked up his two blankets and 2 pillows and stacked them together at one end of his crib! Then at bed time he helped put the toys back in the toy box and "made" his bed again this morning! Needless to say, the House Fairy left him and his brothers a very nice surprise! Thank you for helping me to teach my children how to take care of their rooms and themselves! Love, Cortney in Albuquerque Our little ones are way more aware of whats going on than we give them credit. The House Fairy is such a gentle, loving way to inspire children to be helpful around the house. I just had to share this one only if its just for our little brats to enjoy. www.housefairy.org

Geoffrey Holder "Its not how you fall, its how you get up!"

Pam, Thank you so much for your email about setting your inner clock to kid time! It is just the reminder that I needed. I know that when I can REALLY slow myself down ( and there just isnt anything more deliciously slow than kid time not only do I see more, feel more, hear more, and love more...in the end I do more. Not that "everything" gets done ( as you so wisely point out THAT never happens) but when I do turn my slower self toward some task it is almost as if time itself has stretched out and I can get much more done in whatever time I have available. When Ive been in kid time ( REALLY watching an ant, or the sunlight glinting off the shiny surface of a vase or pot, or REALLY listening to the birds call out and sing or, or, or....) it often happens that Ill get into some necessary work and then when I stop and notice the time Ill be stunned that it has "only" been one hour, and Ive accomplished three or four hours of work. [The opposite is also true: that when I am rushing and not very present it is AMAZING how little I can end up doing and how time will fly by as if someone reset the clock to "extra fast."] Thanks again, Valerie B

I think when time slips away, its a good thing because it is a sign that we were enjoying life in the moment. As a homemaker there will always be a million things to do, and it will never get done! The irony in getting organized is that we end up with more free time, but we still will never get everything done! Whenever I have my grandchildren for the day, I have to consciously re-set my inner clock to kid time. Kid time is WAY different than adult time and its way more relaxing. My six-year-old grandson Jack and I walked three hundred feet down our drive-way and it took us half an hour, because I let him set the pace. We spent a chunk of the time looking at a dead shrew, another chunk on a line of ants hauling who knows what on a well-worn path theyd carved in the dirt, a chunk trying to step on each others head shadows and a bunch of other "events" that made the walk memorable. Try setting your inner-clock to kid time for just an hour every day. If you have children at home they will love the attention you will have time to give them.

Dear Pam, I have connected with the part of me that brings out Marci and acts up all the time. I was trained to behave badly and be rewarded for it. As a child of parents who didnt want children and only gave me attention when I was not behaving, of course if I was going to exist, they wanted me to be perfect. I discovered this very early on and had a great time throwing tantrums in doorways, elevators, on the road, whatever it took to keep the attention coming my way. The saying, "Kids dont care if they are good or bad as long as they get the attention" is very true. I continued on into school, behaving badly, small bits of trouble, living up to their expectations of failure. And then into adulthood, where I have tried VERY unsuccessfully, I might add to continue finding ways of acting badly and receiving the attention. Wow what a revelation. I could just spend the day crying over all the problems Ive caused people who tried so hard with me and I just wore them right out with all my shenanigans. As it turns out, I didnt have to fail grades in school, I am a very intelligent woman, still go to classes to educate myself. Guess I was just trying to live down to their expectations. What Im trying to say is that now that I understand who my brat is and what makes her GO, I can do something about the situation. You are the first one Ive even spoken to about this as I have just made the discovery early this morning during my journaling time and it seems to be the information I need, now when I write Only Rewards For Good Behavior it makes perfect sense and I know what my battle is; long process. Thanks for listening, Meg in Victoria

FLASHBACK! Occasionally I will share with you flashbacks from my past. This is one of them. I remember around this time of year, my kids started driving me CRAZY! Id look on the calendar at the date when school started but it was like re-looking in the refrigerator for something good to eat when there wasnt anything the last time I looked and on some level knew the information would not help me NOW! I remember fantasying a camping trip on the playground of the schoolyard. Telling the children in the same spirit Hanzel and Gretels evil stepmother did, "Children, camp here and well be back to get you after school has started." My advice from the Tower of Age, have fun with them NOW. Play NOW. Sing NOW. Go NOW. Dont wish they were in school, because it will not be long and they will be GONE. Out of your daily routine. Out of your influence. Out of your sphere of joy, love and peace.

Mount Overwhelming I received an email from a woman who purchased my DVD Get Your Acts Together and she watched the whole program which I recommend doing. However she was so overwhelmed with the information ( which covers a six-week program) she froze! Fortunately she thawed enough to email me for help. I told her to play the DVD again and stop it at the assignment for the first week, pick one goal to work on for the week, and apply the principles explained in week one. Then I said to email what happened in the week. Thats all it took to unfreeze her. A baby goal, with baby steps and a report at the end of the week! When disorganization overwhelms us, it looms over us like a mountain. But we can climb Mt. Overwhelming just like a mountain climber would climb Mt.Everest. A climber would never set out without climbing tools and a map of the plan of assent and hed know hes not going to climb the mountain in a day or two. Dont stand at the base of Mt. Overwhelming and wail, complain, procrastinate, worry and freeze. If you camp at the base for very long youll discover the mountain just gets higher. Create a plan of assent. Buy tried and true plans from those who have climbed Mt. Overwhelming and take a buddy with you. Once you get your plans, youll start to see where youre going to camp that first night and how youll baby-goal your way up the mountain. And dont forget to enjoy the view at each level you achieve. To order Get Your Acts Together, click here: The Brat Factory

Routine: habitual or mechanical performance of an established procedure. When Flylady and I talk about routines, we are really harping on establishing habits that are almost a mechanical performance, morning, noon and evening, but there is another kind of routine I want to harp on. Thinking routines. Someone has guessed we think 60,000 thoughts a day. That means much of our thinking goes on under-the-radar of our conscious minds. This is really a very good thing, otherwise we would have to think thoughts like, "move right foot, now left foot, now right foot, now left foot, and wed only be four steps toward the sink. Unfortunately some of those 60,000 thoughts arent good for us, but they are mechanically performed and result in established procedure. Since I love to use my imagination, I picture a DJ in a little radio station studio in my mind just waiting to play the next request. He has 60,000 CDs to choose from. The request comes! "Play, Im Tired And I Dont Want To Do That Right Now, followed by Lets Have Some Ice Cream and Watch Oprah.\" Those thoughts result in a mechanical performance. Because I have learned Nellys voice, much of the time I can hear her "song" before I act on its message. I can interrupt the CD for an important announcement. "Nelly, no, we arent too tired and maybe you forgot, we dont have ice cream at home any more." See how many "songs" you can stop today, before they turn into mechanical performances you DONT want to perform.

When one is a stranger to oneself, then one is estranged from others. Ann Morrow Lindberg When I got organized and I uncluttered my life, I had a much clearer view of what my purpose was. I knew I wasnt here by accident, that I had something to give that only I could offer; but with my home a total mess, and daily fights with my husband, where I would end up bawling and running to my room, it wasnt real clear what I would be offering. I truly believed and still do, there is a power for good in the universe available to everyone and I could use it, but in the mess it wasnt clear how. I remember constantly asking myself, "What is my life about? "Am I happy?" "What is right for me?" "What feedback is my life giving me?" I listened and I got the answers as they unfolded in wonder-filled and exciting ways. I found joy in cleaning my toilet, excitement in fixing dinner, mystery in going through closets, cupboards and drawers. I know I will continue to learn more about myself and as a result be closer to those I help. I love you all. I love your spirit and your willingness to change something that has been a thorn in your life. You will succeed and be able to give what only you can offer.

What do women really want? Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthurs youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarchs proposition to have an answer by years end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthurs closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthurs life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthurs question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthurs life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments? What would YOU do? What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY? Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now ..what is the moral to this story? Scroll down The moral is..... If you dont let a woman have her own way.... Things are going to get ugly

Know your own mind. Train yourself to think what you wish to think. Ernest Holmes

Usually we think the brave have no fear, the truth is they are intimate with it. Pema Chodrin

Dear Pam, Ive known for years of my brat, Eleanor, although I have "lovingly" referred to her as my Evil Twin. In the fall of 1979 I was pregnant and snuggled on the sofa with a toddler. On AM Northwest [a Portland, Oregon television show] I saw my home and my life being described by you and Peggy. After the baby was born I went to a seminar, got my file system, fell off the wagon now and then while having two more babies, got back on track, and with the help of your wonderful books raised my four children with more domestic flair than I ever thought I had in me. I also had a very dear friend, "Silent Butler" who kept all of us on our toes! I was divorced a few years ago, and in the past year the last of my children made their move and successfully spread their wings. I have been in transition with empty-nest syndrome and my brat Eleanor has brought out of remission the "Ive Got All Day Disease." Typically on a Sunday afternoon I am scrambling to get things done so I can survive the work week. I am thrilled to find The Brat Factory. I just finished reading and enjoyed the Testimonials on your web site and today I am starting my Progress Report. I now know my Evil Twin Eleanor really is a brat trying to be THE brat of all brats, and shes in for a huge surprise! I feel like Ive found an old friend with your web site. Thank you!! Sincerely, Jane Hi Jane! Its always so fun to run into an "old timer" who goes back to our start! Bless you for your kind words! My brat was so alive and well in my messy days and it was a real eye-opener when I met her in the middle of the night five years ago. I have grown to love her and learn from her bratty immaturity. Nelly keeps me on my toes! Lately she has been very cranky and I really havent gotten to the bottom of it, but I also havent had a one-on-one talk with her in a very long time. Your email has prompted me to have a little chat with the brat! Have fun with Eleanor! Nelly is the Queen of the IGAD Disease! I have learned over the years that habits and routines actually by-pass our brats influence so in all the rooms I have been habitual and routined ( I knew the spell-checker would balk at that word) there is no mess and no stress. My office is another story! Nelly has convinced me that its "our" space and off limits to everyone. Consequently it does not look like a room owned by an author of books on home organization. My best, Pam PS to down-load a free Weekly Progress Report click here: The Brat Factory

The facts always change. Rev. MarCia Anderson Living life according to todays facts is to embark down a slippery slope. There is nothing permanent about the world. The only thing eternal or lasting is Gods love and our connection to it. Nothing can separate us from the love of God, not wealth, war, famine, religion, gender or political affiliation. Gods love is the one thing that is changeless. One of the best ways to quiet a cranky inner brat is to say, "Hush now, God loves you and all is well."

When you realize there is nothing lacking; the whole world belongs to you. Lao Tzu

We must be willing to get rid of the life weve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell I dont think Joe meant we shouldnt have calendars and watches, but there is such magic in letting go of our fondest figuring outs and letting life unfold with a higher plan.

This is a summer re-run, but I really like it so here it is. I have a lovely habit: At night in my prayers I touch everyone I have seen that day. I shape my heart like theirs and theirs like mine. Saint Teresa of Avila I read that the Buddhists have a practice called "metta." In a traditional setting, "metta": is done like a meditation. Using these four statements: May you feel protected and safe. May you feel contented and pleased. May your physical body provide you with strength. May your life unfold smoothly with ease. In the practice of "metta" we start by praying for the four things above for the self first and then for a person we respect, like a teacher or minister; then a person we love; then a person were neutral about; and then a person we might be challenged by. I am adding one more "person" to do this for, ( sorry Buddha for changing your teaching) add your brat even though she doesnt have a physical body.

Because we live and function in time and space, it takes time for us to process and learn in order to see changes we want in our lives. I believe that absolutely any thing we can think we want can be ours. But change never comes about because of how much we want something. Wanting is a state of mind, to which the universe responds, "yes." The universe always responds "yes," and when we want, or feel we are lacking something, the universe says, "Yes, you are in want." So if you say, "I want to be organized," the universe says "Yes you do." If you say, "Im buried in CHAOS," the universe says, "Yes you are." And there you will stay. Saying words that are different, that is, using positive affirmations is just the beginning in making changes in our lives. We have to feel it, believe it and embody it in order to experience it. That is why Flyladys approach to getting organized is so brilliant. She created a place ( her sink) that was her affirmation. Her shiny sink made her FEEL good, made her BELIEVE she was on her way to being organized. The shiny sink was a reflection of the truth in time and space. Every time she saw the sink, she said, "Yes." And the universe said "yes" too. Examine your deep beliefs that have been operating in your life and be willing to let go of old limiting ideas. I heard Flylady on the radio say, "A made bed is the shiny sink of the bedroom." Go in each room and create a "shiny sink," a reminder to you that you ARE organized.

As we awaken to our kinship with life in all its complexity, paradoxicalness, irony and humor, we begin to feel a deep connection to all that exists. Charles "Tom" Brown

Kelly posted this article yesterday for Young at Heart. Im sorry to repeat it if you read it,but for those who didnt, its a riot! It gives me compassion for the souls who live and love us SHEs. Written by John Hinterberger Seattle Times July 26, 1981 The oldest kids room smelled of mold, the middle kid was pasting a sticker book all over the living room walls and the baby was throwing the contents of her bedroom drawers out the window to make room for hide-and-seek. The kitchen was littered with busted crayons, three sleeping bags reeking of alder smoke were under the dining room table, the parking strip grass was as high as an elephants eye and it looks like its growing right up to the sky. Oh what a terrible morning! "Weve GOT to get organized," I howled in my best ex-sergeants bark. "Dad! Have you seen the masking tape?" "Not since Halloween of 79. Or was it Christmas of 78?" "Dad! Wheres my bathing suit?" "Out on the back lawn where you left it last week. A cat has taken it over. . " The Keeper of the House sailed through the front door bearing five bolts of material to add to the three bales she has stashed in her sewing room in the basement—projects she intends to someday ( a) start, ( b) muse over, ( c) maybe even complete. She is into what might be called sewing futures. "All our problems are solved!" she cried. "You hired Mr. Clean?" "No" "Youve had an affair with the White Tornado?" "No, I bought a book, Sidetracked Home Executives: From Pigpen to Paradise.\" "Well," I said, "as long as we get this mess picked up starting right now, Im for it. What would you like me to help with?" "Nothing right now. I have to organize a card file." She left and returned an hour later with a card file box and about 2,000 three-by-five cards. She sat, scribbling things like "cobwebs M17" and mumbling "picture frames." "Would you like me to knock down some cobwebs?" I asked. "No, no," she muttered, clearly annoyed, "that isnt due for another three weeks." "Why dont I knock em down now and not have to worry about it?" "Because it will screw up the whole system," she added, kicking two pairs of kiddie overalls under the dryer. She went back to her cards. Two days later, she was still filling out cards and I had stayed home from work to find some socks. On the third day, she mopped her brow and cried, "Done!" She closed the file box with a click and poured herself a Henry Weinhard. "Wonderful," I said, holding onto a blue sock and a tan sock. "Lets get at it." "Are you crazy?" she said, pointing to a calendar pasted to her file box. "Today is Tuesday." "Were in Belgium?" "No, Tuesday is a Free Day. Everybody needs some time off." "OK, first thing in the morning..." "Pipe down," she advised. "Wednesday is a Quiet Day Quiet Day —for baking and planning." She put a frozen steak into the dishwasher to thaw. I got up in the middle of the night and tip-toed to her kitchen office, falling over a Fisher Price taxicab ( durable rascals) in the process. I peeked into her file: "THURSDAY—Heavy Cleaning;Laundry." I eased back to the bedroom, wincing slightly at the Lego I d picked up between my second and third toes, and slept like a babe. Thursday morning she was in a modified snit. "I don t know how I m going to get us from pigpen to paradise today." She said. "There s so much to do." "You mean scrubbing and vacuuming and . . .?" "Yes. And the kids swim team, the baby s Suzuki-method harmonica lesson, and my tennis group plays at noon." "Maybe tomorrow. . ." "Tomorrow s another light day," she said. "Grocery shopping and errands. Then of course, the S.H.E. s have their weekends off. Otherwise housework would drive you crazy." I skidded on a chunk of green Play-Doh and hobbled off to work. I d get a bottle of champagne to celebrate the clean house on the way home. Perhaps some flowers. A new John Denver record. Candles. When I got home, I yodeled yoo hoos and was greeted in silence. I peered into the kitchen and shrieked. Red stains were smeared across the sink. Crimson gore mottled the counters. Viscous red puddles were splotched across the floor. The baby waddled out of her bedroom, deep red staining her hair. Spouse called up from the basement. "Guess what happened today?" "Your sister, Medea, came to call?" "No, I put up 40 pounds of cherries. I m bushed." I looked at the champagne, candles and roses; glanced over at the file box. I had a feeling it just wasn t in the cards. Sidetracked Home Executives; from pigpen to paradise is still in bookstores after 30 years and is available on Amazon. If you haven t read it, you are in for a treat. ),

You are never too old to grow younger. Mae West Old age is revered in China. In the United States, everyone wants to live a long life but no one wants to get old; and when we do, were shocked at what we see in the mirror. We dont question our children growing up, we delight in it, so I say delight in your age whatever it is! I asked my neighbor who is in her late 50s, "If you could be any age what age would you like to be?" She answered, "Twenty-four, how old would you like to be?" I replied, "I love my age and you couldnt pay me to be twenty-four, because I already did that year!" I think growing younger is all about keeping in close and loving touch with our inner brats. Our brats want to play, laugh, run, skip, sing and all the stuff kids want to do. So just do it regardless of your age.

Heres some fascinating research: When we stick a pin in our finger certain cells in our brain light up. When we see someone else get stuck, the same cells in our brain light up. Thus, on some level, our brains dont make the distinction between self and others. We are connected to each other. I think we are all here by divine appointment and are here for a purpose. We each have a mission. I think that to be human means to seek out that mission and live it. At the end of our life, according to a wonderful Hasidic story, we will not be asked if we were as great as Moses or other notables, but rather, did we have our own wisdom? Did we have our own vision? Were we genuinely and authentically ourselves?

Have you noticed that when you are going to have company, its almost as if you get a new pair of eyes? You start seeing your home through the eyes of "the company," and you get a special spurt of motivation to clean and tidy up. I know when Im expecting company I want every room to look extra special, because I want "the company" to "ooo and ahhh," and talk about my home behind my back: "I was in Pam Youngs home and it was just absolutely lovely. What a woman she is. She is just fabulous!" ( It is fun to pretend.) That CFC ( Clean For Company) feeling is normal. We all love compliments and we love to get approval not only from our immediate family, but especially from people outside of our immediate family. In fact we just plain love approval where ever we can get it! When we are raising our babies it is so important to compliment them generously every day, because much of our work as parents is to correct and teach. Our children love us to pay positive attention to them. When I look back to when my kids were young, some of the most common sentences I heard were, "Look Mom," "Watch this Mom," "Look at me Mom," "Mom, watch me." I think one of the reasons the House Fairy works with our children is because they go into Clean For Company mode. Their precious imaginations kick into gear and suddenly they find delight in the mundane. The House Fairys coming! The House Fairy Program is chock full of positive, loving ways to motivate, inspire,reinforce and recognize childrens good behavior. To join go to www.housefairy.org

Joy is evidence of the presence of God. I read about a minister who after the service sat in the back of the sanctuary to pray for anyone in the congre- gation who wanted it. A gentleman sat down in front of her and after a brief conversation, the minister closed her eyes and began to pray. Almost immediately she felt a rising sensibility of the gentlemans truth and wholeness. At that moment the gentleman began to laugh softly, iron- ically, the reason he wanted prayer was because he felt hope- less and depressed! Well, the minister thought it was pretty funny too, and began laughing. As the gentlemans laughter got louder, so did the ministers and soon everyone was laughing. It occurred to the minister that this is probably the way its supposed to be! Our brats are bored when we adults get so serious. The more lighthearted we can be the happier our brats are. Happy brats are way more likely to mind the rules we set down.

No one every built a monument to a critic. George Bernard Shaw If I say anything against critical people I will be a critic myself so Ill just say that behind criticism is perfectionism.

Create your day in advance by thinking the way you want it to go,and you will create your life intentionally. The Secret

Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch. James Baldwin Every habit starts with a conscious choice to attempt to express more life. Some habits become compulsive and when they no longer serve us, its time to kick the habit. Being disorganized is a habit. When you are released from your disorganization, then you have to face the fact that you have gifts to give the world. That can be frightening, but dont let it. Its just that your little inner brat is afraid of the unknown.

This was my answer to a woman who simply asked, "Please tell me exactly what a brat is." A brat is a child who is generally out of control and has the upper hand over his/her parent. Youve seen brats in public and youve seen the parental impotence behind the brats. An inner brat displays the same behavior and the results show up in the circumstances we face right now. If your inner brat is in control you could be experiencing anything from a messy house, to indebtedness, to obesity to an unhappy marriage. If you are unhappy with a particular circumstance and wish to experience something different, you first have to change the behavior that caused the circumstance. In order to change the behavior that caused the circumstance you have to change the thinking behind the behavior. In order to change the thinking you have to be aware of what you are thinking. Thats where your inner brat comes in. Your brat comes in under the radar so to speak. We do so much unconsciously, eat, drink, smoke, worry, procrastinate etc. Once we wake up and become conscious of that under-the-radar thinking, we can change. We have to take charge of our immature thinking, as a parent would firmly guide a child. I have known my brat for six years and in that time I have made miraculous changes in my life and I am 65 years old. I learned its never to late to grow up. My best, Pam

Love cures people; both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. Dr. Karl Menninger In times of darkness I have learned the value of sitting WITH my feelings rather than sitting IN them. When I feel hurt and afraid I know these feelings are coming from Nelly and I pull her right beside me and I comfort her with love. When we heal who we are, the healing is generated as love into the world.

We interrupt this email with a commercial for the House Fairy Golden Wing Program. ( If you dont have kids or just arent interested, just skip down to your surprise.) I worked on this project for five months developing new supplementary tools to the House Fairy Basic Program. There are four wonderful components to the Golden Wing Program: the Good Behavior Ticket Program, complete with House Fairy money, coupons and Good Time Tickets, all great surprises for the House Fairy to leave after her inspections, a de-cluttering game called I Spy, 3x5 chore cards for kids, and a CD of ten childrens songs I wrote and Libby sings. Just go to www.housefairy.org ( org stands for organized). Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance. John Petit-Senn

This video is worth a minute of your time. It is very well done. Thank you to Melinda for sending it to us. http://videos.komando.com/2008/07/16/famous-failures/

The Truth in eleven words, "Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, what happened?" Anonymous Dear Friends in the state of Washington, I am going to be speaking at the WATCH conference on August 8 and 9 at Seattle Pacific University. The wonderful folks who are putting this together asked that we tell our friends in the state of Washington about this fabulous conference for home schoolers. The website is up and you can click here www.watchhome.org and then click on "Conference" to see all that is happening in the jam-packed weekend. I will be talking about the seven steps to being organized from the inside out and also how to get your children organized. I would love to see you come and be part of the fun and learning, so sign up today as space is limited.

No matter where the problem is, how acute it may be, or how difficult the person may be, there is in the final analysis no one to change but yourself. Joseph Murphy

Hi! Just read your daily email about the need to pay ourselves compliments. It reminded me of what I was told during a workshop for teachers on positive behavior modification. It was suggested that we ( teachers) should place 11 paperclips in one pocket every morning and each time during the day as we gave our class a compliment or spoke of something positive that they did we should move a paperclip to the other pocket. That way we could be sure that we were giving the 11 positive comments that we as people ( our students) need daily. Cathey Hey, we dont need to be teachers to do this! All we need are pockets and 11 paperclips and we can include our brats in the mix of friends and family to compliment. How about we do 12!

Click here to hear a poem Pam wrote about Ordell Daily Ordelle Daily

This message is a re-run. You know summer and re-runs. Dear Pam, My brat wants to be complimented and rewarded every time she does any little thing. She wants to buy a latte ( $3 that should be going toward credit card bills! a magazine ( ditto! or have someone admire how clean the house looks. How do I keep her satisfied but teach her she doesnt need to spend our money every time we get a little work done? Dear Concerned, Compliment her every hour! We all thrive on compliments. I heard ( and I dont know if its scientific, but it sounds right to me) that we need 10 compliments to counteract one negative comment. I used to say awful things to myself. Things I would NEVER say to someone else. Ive called myself stupid and told myself, "I hate you!" I dont do that anymore. In fact since Ive known Nelly, I am so much kinder to myself. Now heres the good news! Your psyche does not know the difference between a compliment coming from you or someone outside of you like your husband or mother. Since I met Nelly I am big on complimenting myself. ( Of course I dont do it in public because I dont want to get put away.) I know Nelly is the part of me that thrives on compli- ments. Remember Flyladys acronym Finally Loving Yourself. Part of FLYing is recognizing how good you are doing and saying something about it to yourself! Assignment 10 compliments to yourself today!! Just to get you started: YOU ARE FABULOUS! Heres an extra surprise for today! Click here and find "Compliments." Great Job You can hear my voice give some generic compliments. All you have to do is let me talk directly to your brat.

Our inner brats always try to persuade us that we are nothing but acorns and that our greatest happiness will be to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns; but that is of interest only to pigs. Our faith gives us knowledge of something better: that we can become oak trees. I think I really stepped out in faith when I realized my "acorn" behavior was that of a big, fat, self-indulgent, over-spending Nelly. It hit me I didnt want to be an immature kid in a grown-up body. I wanted to be a mature adult ( an oak tree) making healthy, wealthy and wise choices, but with the fun-loving nature Nelly provides. Remember an oak tree continues to stay in touch with acorns.

House Fairy here: ( Nelly said I could write to her friends.) Now that summer is really here I am adding new videos to the House Fairy website. Check out the video starring two of my adorable grandchildren and you can watch a great activity for the kids to do in the kitchen. Just go to www.housefairy.org and click on the Kid’s Tab and then click on the lower left-hand window of House Fairy’s house. I am not going to tell you what you’ll see, but it takes about three minutes to watch. Hope you have as much fun as we did. Hugs, House Fairy

The winds of Gods grace are always blowing, it is for us to raise our sails. Ramakrishna

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now The Power of Now is a must for every library! It is a powerful eye-opener to our habit of chronically living in the past ( regret) and the future ( worry). Living in the now takes discipline and practice, but is well worth the effort. We are always making judgments about time. Im early, its late, time flies, theres not enough time. We even let time dictate our beliefs. If its midnight, I must be getting tired. If its five in the morning, its too early to get up. If its 6 P.M., I must be getting hungry. Time is our measure of outer world events. There is actually no time in the spiritual dimension. Have you experienced timelessness? You get involved in doing some- thing you love and the time passes unnoticed. The only time we truly experience life is in this moment right now. Our thoughts and beliefs today determine our experiences tomorrow. Decisions you make now determine your future. Let go of the past and dont worry about the future.

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. G.K. Chesterton Our camping parks are testimony to what G.K. Chesterton says. They are filled with joyous folks purposely choosing to get away from the conveniences of home. ( Ive often referred to this kind of camping as "pretending youre homeless.)So the next time the electricity goes out at home look at it as sort of a camping adventure.

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they becom habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Frank Outlaw

At the end of every day, before you go to sleep, go back through the events of the day. Any events or moments that were not what you wanted, replay them in your mind the way you wanted them to go. The Secret

Knowing trees, I understand patience. Knowing grass, I understand persistence.

Okay, this is a test to see if I have been able to fix my quotation mark problem. Sorry to have to use your surprise to do this, but Im hoping most of you are on vacation and could care less what I have to say. So now for the test. If the following marks look like a line of quotes, its fixed. If its a bunch of gobbledegoop, its back to the drawing board. “””””””””””””

Experience always takes place within a given attitude and a given inner perspective. Plotinus The philosopher Plotinus also said, "Withdraw within yourself and look. And if you are not yet beautiful, carve away here, carve away there, until what shines forth is the radiance of your own soul."

"Never give up on what you want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all of the facts." I Googled this quote and could not find its author. I believe the quote because it has been proven to me to be true in my life experience. When the "facts" in my life didnt match my dreams, I just kept faithful to the dreams and now the "facts" and the dreams match. Keep dreaming!

I read several years ago about a story a man shares with his friend, "Do you know how hard it is to work seven days a week, ten hours a day?" His friend sympathizes, "Sounds grueling. How long have you been keeping this schedule?" The man replied, "I start tomorrow." Dont make life hard. How we approach a situation makes it either difficult or easy. Even our darkest times can be transformed by our attitude.

Happy 4th of July to all Brat Factor Americans! It was six years ago today that I met Nelly, my inner brat. I was in desperate need of money and thought that more of it would solve my financial situation which it wont. I had to learn to change how I handled the money I had. The interesting thing is I already knew what to do; I just didnt want to do it. Its no different with many of our challenges in life. The answers are so simple and we already know what to do, we just dont want to do it. We also think too much in order to avoid doing what we know must be done! How do I get organized? Establish good habits and follow a routine. How do I lose weight? Take in less calories than I burn. How do I stop being tired? Go to bed by 10 and get up at 6. How do I get out of debt? Establish a budget and spend less than I make. How do I get out from under the clutter? Turn garbage day into an event. We are our own worst enemies and to be free of self-defeating behavior all we need to do is get to know that part of us that would love to remain under the radar of our conscious mind, and keep things just the way they are; our inner brat.

Hugs not drugs! Touch more today, rub somebodys feet, or back. The human touch is very powerful, use it.

All is well. Be still and know that and dont move until you do. Now, move into your day carrying that knowing to every person and situation you encounter.

In 1965 the Supremes had a hit record with their song "Stop! In The Name of Love." I minded them and ended up married to Mr. Cranky for 15 years! As Dr. Laura says, "Love isnt enough when it comes to marriage." There should be a song called: "Only One Brat at a Time."

I have a hard time with this question: "Are you done?" See I dont think Ive been in some kind of oven when that question is asked of me. The questioner of course wants to know if Im finished with whatever it is Ive been doing, but when Im asked if Im done Nelly pops up and says:"Im medium rare and I want to be well done." Most of the time the questioner doesnt get it.

Neener, neener neener. I get to go on another vacation! We will be gone for a whole week and we will not answer any emails, so dont write! Nelly Sorry about that! Nelly is a little bragger and can be quite sassy too! We will be on a small ( 63 foot) boat up in Alaska and we will not have access to the internet, so I will not be able to respond to anyone until we get home on June 9. My BO office assistant will be in the office but you would not want her responding to you. She doesnt get it! ( Hope she doesnt see this email.) Have a wonderful week! Love, Pam

Laugh at yourself and at life and nothing can touch you. Louise Hay

It is good for us to be here. Matthew 17:4 All we have or ever will have is the here and now. Florence Scovel Shinn said: "People who live in the past have severed their contact with the wonderful now." If you are living in the past you are living in an old dream. I recently read somewhere that there is no difference between a dream and remembering something from the past. It really made me know how vital it is to stay awake and aware of what is going on right now. Its the only reality.

I received this email and wanted to share it with all of you: I liked this quote, especially for those of us with children. "We have no money. Therefore we shall have to think." Its nice to not have to think when buying things, but what does that teach our children? Children ( and non- children) want attention/interaction, not things. Things turn into clutter and distract us from each other. Baby Update: Todays my due date and Im still here with a big belly... Christine Blessings to Christine as she becomes Mother to a new soul!

Sir Winston Churchill, "We have no money. Therefore we shall have to think."

June 24 is the official Let Your Brat Whine Day. I will let Nelly have her say and then open the Internet for all you brats to whine away! ( This is a yearly event, just so your brat doesnt think its going to happen more frequently.)Tell your brat this is the only day in the year she can whine and complain. Oh and keep it short! From Nelly: Mom thinks Im growing up, but Im just being quiet right now. I am planning to bust out on our trip to Alaska and then we have a family reunion in July with special party food and homemade ice cream. "Self- descipline is remembering what you really want." Yeah right. I want ice cream! Oh, by the way, I still hate being written up on that stupid Progress Report Mom thought up. I hate the stupid sign that pops up on my computer, "Whose in charge?" I hate getting caught before I can act.

Shri Sai Baba said, "Life is a song--sing it! Life is a game--play it! Life is love--enjoy it!" Im not as enlightened as Sai Baba, but Id like to add, "Dont let your stuff get in the way."

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith. Galatians 5:22

In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity. Albert Einstein

Today is the summer Solstice and it is the day with the longest period of daylight in the year. If ever there were a time for our brats to play, its now! And we get an extra amount of light to do it in today. You know who has to work hardest now? Mother Nature! Our gardens are working their little roots off making flowers, fruits, vegetables and stuff. We get to sit back and watch the work! Well, we do have to weed and water and start picking, but we also get to play, take vacations, relax, enjoy! It is one of our purposes under heaven. Go play and enjoy!

When Peggy and I got organized we had an equation for success. Decision + Commitment + A Plan = Success. Our decision? Get Organized! Our Commitment? It was based on solid, juicy reasons ( guess whose? our brats of course, even though we didnt know them in 1977) like have more free time to play and get revenge on a B.O. relative. Our Plan? Our 3x5 cardfile system. Whatever your decision, whatever your brats reasons, your plan takes it out of your head and onto paper. Whether its Flyladys control journal, the 3x5 cardfile, a personal planner, software planner or just a calendar, pick a plan. Get Your Acts Together, ( yours and your brats) my six-week program on DVD helps you decide what you want to do, helps get your brat into the picture and encourages you to choose a plan that appeals to both of you. If it isnt fun, it wont get done. I would love to hear how Get Your Acts Together has helped you achieve your goals and how meeting your inner brat has helped move you forward in your continuing journey to being organized. To order the Get Your Acts Together Program go to The Brat Factory

Attention all brats!! Today is National Splurge Day! Be careful! Remember our brats are about nine mentally and we can never give them free reign or well wake up and find it has been National Splurge Month! Hi Pam, I had an "AHA!" moment recently. I used to go to a small, women-only gym that I loved. I enjoyed being there, working out and spending a little time away from my respon- sibilities at home. However, they dont have childcare so it got harder and harder to get there, until I finally had to admit that no matter how much I loved it, it wasnt practical to pay for it when I just couldnt go. So my husband and I recently joined a coed mega-gym with childcare. On my first "real" visit, I hated it. I missed everything about my old gyms intimate, supportive, female-only atmos- phere, and resented everything about the new place. After- wards, I thought about what I could do to change my attitude, which is obviously the key to success in any workout routine. I finally came up with a solution, using motivation that my inner brat couldnt resist. I love to read, and as a SAHM with two little angels, I havent had the time to read just for fun since I cant remember when. So I chose a novel that I hadnt read and put it in a bag, along with shower stuff. The next time we went to the gym, I promised myself that after I suffered through the new mysterious machines surrounded by intimidating serious weightlifters, I would have 20 minutes of uninterrupted reading time while on the treadmill. After that, Id take a leisurely shower knowing that my children were safe and entertained by someone else. It worked! I enjoyed that workout much more. When I got home, I told myself I wouldnt take the novel out of the gym bag and Id only allow myself to read it when Im on the treadmill. That got me back to the gym in a hurry! I must admit, Ive cheated a bit since then, by reading the novel before bedtime last night, but I want to go right back to the gym to read it more. If Im self-disciplined enough, I may even take my gym bag out to the car and leave it there so its not as easy to cheat. My( as of yet unnamed)inner brats motivation = time "alone" reading, guilt-free shower The outcome = regular, quality workouts Win-win! Thanks for the inspiration. Cathy in NC

Dear Friends, Janet, one of my subscribers, is the one who sent us the story about Lillys career a few weeks ago. She also sent a story she remembered when HER child was young. Dear Pam, I have to tell you I was in tears of laughter and gut wrenching terror as I realized that I could have been Lillys mom forty years ago. When our son Brian was in the second grade ( 7 years old) I begged Jim to take him and Andrea ( 4 years old) to the school open house while I was at work in a local restaurant. He reluctantly said yes. When he got to the school, he had to sit through a "short" PTA meeting with the kids in tow. When they got to the classroom there were many parents around the teachers desk so they looked at bulletin boards and papers etc. The teacher was about 21 and pretty, with long straight hair ( think Cher) and a very short miniskirt. As they approached her desk she looked at Brian and said, "Brian are you going to introduce me to your father?" Brian stepped up and said, "Miss Dodd, this is my dad, Dad, this is Miss Dodd." At which point he elbowed Jim in the side and said, "Wouldnt you rather have her than Mom?" Janet Broken Cookie Embroidery

Thirty years ago today my sister and I decided to get organized. Even though I didnt know Nelly back then, she was alive and well. It was she who loved the 3x5 cardfile system that took us from pigpen to paradise by enabling us to get our homes organized. Peggy and I have always said, "We are in nervous remis- sion." Im not as nervous as I was thirty years ago when we got organized or even as I was twenty or ten years ago. It just gets easier and easier. One of my goals on June 16, 1977 was to have cleaning help, but I knew that the help couldnt clean if I didnt have surfaces. I knew the main task was a clutter issue and that is what I focused on and within a couple of months I was able to hire a woman to come and clean for three hours a week. We wrote in Sidetracked Home Executives: Your value as a woman is not predicated on being the one who scrubs and cleans it. Get help before you need the professional kind. It also helped me stay uncluttered to go into so many homes across America and see more than a hundred victims of chronic clutter. The more I saw the less I wanted. Now when Im out "shopping" I rarely come home with some- thing I dont need. In fact I get my shopping fix at the grocery store. I remember being devastated when Sarah Ban Breathnach wrote in Simple Abundance for her entry for June 9: "I couldnt sleep at night if I gave you the impression that cleaning the kitchen is my idea of a great time. The very thought reminds me of a newspaper interview I did with two delightful, funny women who were the authors of a popular series of homemaking books. I nearly choked when they revealed that they didnt do their own housecleaning anymore because their success had enabled each of them to afford a cleaning woman. It was as if I had wandered behind a curtain and met up with the affable old man the munchkins believed was the Wizard of Oz. Sharing this delicious morsel with my readers would be going for the jugular, and bloodletting has never been my spirit. Besides, the prac- tical information they convey in their books made sense and was fun to read. Still, I had a difficult time writing the feature ( which by the way, the two women and their publisher loved)." That has been a puzzle to me all these years, and Sarah of all people surprised me by missing such an important note. It is not a crime to pay someone to help you with homemaking and what she thought was a delicious morsel had already been revealed in the very book she supposedly had read. Today, Nelly would still rather play than do laundry; write instead of fix dinner, watch movies instead of do the bookwork for Sidetracked Home Executives, The Brat Factor and the House Fairy. Shed way rather play in the yard than vacuum, read than dust, talk on the phone than make the bed, play the piano than clean the toilet and the list could go on and on. Just like with a "real" kid, its a never-ending battle for order and to do the next right thing, but it gets easier and easier! The rewards for doing the next right thing have been incredible for me and I thank God I have been guided by that rightness and have been blessed to follow it most of the time. Oh, and I still have a cleaning woman who minds my 3x5 cards. To order the 3x5 cardfile system that has changed hundreds of thousands of lives go to The Brat Factory The Sidetracked Sisters De-junking DVD is also available in a package that includes the 3x5 system.

Thank you to all of you who emailed me your sincere condolences. There were over three hundred emails and I just can’t answer them individually, but please know how grateful I am for your compassion and your caring. I went to Dianas funeral today and the church was filled with all those who loved her! What a group she attracted!! There were tears everywhere, but also much laughter! Then when her pastor told us that Diana had always been in favor of organ donation, but because of her chemo could not donate hers, he added that she found out in her last days she could donate her eyes. When he said that, it hit me that whoever gets her eyes will see, but not see what and the way Diana saw. The recipient will get her eyes, but will not become an artist. Diana ( the one who used those eyes) lives on and I know she sees without those material eyes. I came home and went straight to my garden and I told her how happy I am to know her. We are just using these bodies we have. They are disposable and even re-usable, but who we really are is indestructible and non transferable. Thank you Diana! Have a wonderful day!

Today is Flag Day here in America. I love our flag and now that I have a flag pole to display it, I now have a "flag" budget. Some day Im going to write a book called Acquisition vs. Maintenance. Whenever we "get" something, we have to take care of it! Thats not fair! Nelly still hasnt entirely grasped the notion. I suppose it comes from saying, "Mom, can we keep the puppy, can we, huh, can we please?" With that first puppy and the "promise" to take care of her ( and then I didnt) I guess subconsciously I think Mom will take care of all my acquisitions. Well Mom wont and now Im stuck with "upkeep." By the way, I have to replace our flag every four months! It really makes me wonder what Burger Kings flag budget is. Even though Nellys in a bit of a snit about this, I still love my flag.

Dear Pam, I wanted to let you know what a difference there is in my life now that I am consciously aware of that part of me that is immature and, well, bratty. ( I named her Nelly just like your brat because I could just see Nelly when she was on Little House on the Prairie.) I purchased the Get Your Acts Together Program about a year and a half ago and being a total SHE I didnt even watch the DVD for several months. One day something lead me to put the Learn to Know Your Inner Brat CD into the car player on a rather long trip ( my hubby drove) so I was able to listen and learn. I could not wait to get home and watch the DVD!! I have had a disorganization problem for all of my life and I now know it was Nelly who sabotaged every attempt I made in the past. Not anymore! With love and compas- sion for my Nelly, I have managed to get my home organized, my meals are planned, I have so much more free time and the peace that has resulted is phenomenal! On the DVD you suggested several tools from a computerized planner to 3x5 cards. I couldnt afford your computerized planner, but $12.95 for the card system was within my budget ( I have one of those too thanks to corralling my Nelly). I love the cards because lists have never worked for me. I got a very cute recipe box to keep them in and they are so easy to pass out for delegating purposes. If you are ever in the Houston area, Id love to have you come and "inspect" the results of your program. One other thing and I dont mean to brag but in the last year I have lost 37 pounds all because being organized is the root of all success for me, plus being mindful of my brats sneaky ways. Hugs, Ruthanne B. To purchase the Get Your Acts Together program which includes the Learn to Know Your Inner Brat or the 3x5 card file CD just click here The Brat Factory

In response to the surprise about the first time taxes were withheld from our pay, I got this email. Oh, by the way, my "hooray" was meant to be sarcastic. I was NOT cheering the beginnings of withheld taxes. It was Milton Friedmans biggest regret in life that he suggested witholding a workers earnings. Your organiza- tion is about personal fiscal responsibility. You have told your story to us. There is nothing fiscally respon- sible about the way the government handles our money. We should be appalled that it is taken from us with no guaran- tee of accountability. "A wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits and industry and improve- ment, and shall NOT take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government. - Thomas Jefferson, 1801

Its so good to be home from vacation and drift back into my routine. The first week of my vacation was good, spent with two of our daughters and their families, but the second week was fogged up for me with the passing of a wonderful friend of mine, Diana Bonin. Diana was a brilliant artist who loved fine art and it took a little arm twisting to get her to illustrate for the Brat Factor and the House Fairy. The wit that you see in the Brat Factor website; the silhouette of Nelly, the various islands on the home page also came out in her personality! She loved life, her hus- band, her two grown kids, animals and she loved her talent. She was also able to lend "magic" to the House Fairy home page and she created all the wonderful childlike illustra- tions for the various House Fairy programs. Diana and I were in the middle of a childrens book about the House Fairy ( the illustrations are beyond enchantment) when she left us. I love her and will miss her every day.

Today is the 59th anniversary of the first day withholding federal taxes became a law. Well hooray for June 10th!

Remember the "blank" surprises a couple of weeks ago? I wanted to share this enlightened persons take on it. Dear Pam I think the surprise of no surprise was excellent !! It was a good lesson - we dont always get what we expect. How we reacted gives us an insight into how much control our brats have over our thinking. Did we get annoyed? Did we immediately complain? Did we groan with the "Oh no not again?" Did the brat in us try to take control and have a little tantrum because that was not what we expected? God breezes come in all sorts of different forms and some of them are not what we expected ! Love Pamela Australia

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish Proverb Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

Remember, YOUR rules, your BRATS reasons. Oftentimes our adult reasons for a particular goal are lofty, and they dont carry the juice to motivate us through the time it takes to reach the goal. I remember our Girl Scout pledge was, "I promise to do my duty to God and my country. . ." Hmmm, I went to Girl Scouts for the treats and to get the badge sash with a bunch of pretty badges on it! I did learn to camp, cook, garden and love God and my country in the process, but really I went for the treats and the sash. Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

D-Day was on this day in 1944. It was the day Western Allied forces liberated mainland Europe from Nazi occupation during World War II. Today is also Hunger Awareness Day, so proclaimed to raise awareness about the problem of hunger in America. Did you know 38 million people in America go hungry? And they arent the ones who joined LA Weight Loss or Jenny Craig! It makes me ashamed to be even one pound over-weight. I know, "Eat all your food because there are starving children in China." Maybe if we stopped putting so much food on our kids plates in the first place, we wouldnt have the obesity problem we have today. PC could stand for portion control. Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

"Will you look back on life and say, "I wish I had," or "Im glad I did."? Zig Ziglar Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

If youd like to change your circumstances you have to change your behavior. In order to change your behavior, you have to change your thinking. In order to change your thinking, you have to become aware of the thoughts that created your circumstances in the first place. In order to become aware of those thoughts, you have to recognize your inner brat who likes things just the way they are. Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

Good Morning Pam, I have been subscribed to the Brat Factor for awhile now. I LOVE it. I am a bit confused though. Please tell me about the card file. I have seen many posts and have a general idea of what it is, but could you give me a little more detail? Mary,( my brat)needs to look at some- thing and she likes to investigate it before she decides if it will work. I promised her we would look into it. Thank you for all the wonderful emails. I look forward to them daily. It is especially fun for Mary on Monday morning to get up and there are THREE!!! Weekends are for yard work, then pool time with the family :-) so we dont get on the pc. Anyway, keep up the great work. Have a Blessed day, Kimberly and Mary Hi Kimberly and Mary, In the olden days ( before computers) many business sales offices used what was referred to as a business tickler file. Many were 3x5 size because that is a standard card size and readily available. There were dividers for the days of the week and the 3x5s con- tained customer information: name, address, phone, how frequently to call etc. My sister used such a tickler file when she worked at a newspaper before she was married and had kids. She was in the display adver- tising department and she had every customer who adver- tised in the newspaper in that tickler file. On any given day shed pull out the cards for that day and after shed called the customer shed re-file it in the appropriate next day. When we decided to get organized she remembered that tickler file and she said we could put housework on the cards instead of customers. With one job to a card we would do the job when the card came up in the file for a given day. We color coded the cards putting daily jobs on yellow cards, weekly jobs on blue cards, monthly and seasonal jobs on white cards and personal tasks on pink. Then we put the cards in the file, set up a basic weekly plan which included two moderate cleaning days ( two to four hours spent on housework): a quiet day, for things like pay bills, balance the checkbook, clip grocery coupons, write letters, and tie up loose ends: a grocery-shopping and errand day: a family day: and a free, play day. The Brat Factor has that original cardfile system on a CD which is a Word file and includes detailed instruc- tions along with a list of supplies you need to get at a stationery store and tons of suggested cards. You get to pick and choose what you want to print out and you can even make your own cards with jobs I didnt include like maybe wash your airplane or round up the kangaroos. I would suggest also, really mostly for the fun of it, to read our first book that spotlighted the cardfile system. Its called Sidetracked Home Executives; ( thats where SHE comes from) From Pigpen to Paradise and it is still in book- stores after 30 years. If you go on www.shesintouch.com and click on that book, it will take you to Amazon and it helps us if you buy it that way. Our motto was: We change lives with 3x5s! To order the 3x5 system Library Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

Ed White became the first American astronaut to walk in space on this day in 1965. Scientists and engineers believed that man cold walk in space and in doing so the seed was planted and space walks came into the human experience. What is a seed thought you can plant today that will come into this human experience and make the world a happier place and make you happy too? All things start with a thought. If there is something youve always wanted to do but now you think its too late, think again! Your brat has probably been trying to tell you shes holding the seed and shes just waiting for you to plant it. Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

On this date, the radio was first patented. I love radio, but now I only listen to it for music. I remember when I was a kid I listened to stories ( there was childrens programming) and my mom listened to a soap opera called Helen Trent. I never really followed what happened to Helen every day, but I loved that time of the day when shed tune in to find out. I was about four and I remember lying on my back almost under the ironing board watching her iron and listen. It was fun to see the different looks on her face as the days story unfolded. What a tool radio was for our imaginations. Television doesnt give us that luxury. Mom got a lot of work done listening to the radio, because her imagination filled in the pictures and she could use her eyes to do housework. And now for a brief commercial ( our webmaster needs to get paid). Dear House Fairy, Thank you for offering such a unique product. I am so glad I bought the Everybody Loves Money CD from the House Fairy last year! I have six graduations and two retirements this year and Im giving all of them $$$$$. I love the ideas for giving money instead of buying some present that will end up unused in a Goodwill Bag. I have always thought money is the best gift because the recipient gets to get exactly what he or she wants. Theres sure no guessing when you give money. I love that the House Fairy thought up funny and clever ways to "present" the money because just giving a check or currency in a card seems so impersonal. I had so much fun giving gifts that I had something to do with. The ideas are so great and I can use them over and over again. Thank you for thinking up such creative ways to give money. Now all I have to do is go to the bank and get cash and by this afternoon, I will have 8 gifts made and wrapped. Yahoo!! Sara, in Hillsboro House Fairy here: Whoa, Sara reminded me that graduation is just around the corner! Yikes I need my own DVD! The ELM DVD ( ELM stands for Everybody Loves Money) has ten clever ways to give money for a gift. The ideas are easy to do and they take just a few minutes ( in most cases) to make. If you love to shop and pick out gifts, this is not for you, but if you have a problem knowing what to get someone and therefore you run out of time, panic and get something either too expensive or not what you think the person would really want, the ELM DVD is for you. I give you the ideas, all you have to do is add THE MONEY. Just go to The House Fairy and click on "orders." Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

Get Out of Surprise FREE Card! Because I love you, And you love me And I do do this for Free! ( Oh, and did I mention I am a SHE? :-) No Apologies Required This was given to me by Paula and her brat MeMeMeMeMe Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

This is worth repeating. Until your daily routine becomes a habit, your actions are up for grabs. Once something is a habit you get to be on automatic pilot or on cruise control whether the habit is a good one or bad one. If its a good habit, you are in charge, if its a bad habit your brats in charge. Start building good habits that let you cruise through your day and give you time to play! Youll be happier and so will your brat. Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

The concept behind the comic book hero Superman is that of an enlightened being fully aware of his superpowers. Although he functions on the human plane as Clark Kent, he is ever vigilant about conditions that call for him to fly or to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I dont know if you get to do this, but I get to fly in some of my dreams. I love my flying dreams. The funny thing to me is I know when the dream is coming to an end because I become like an old helium balloon just skimming the floor or the meadow or the river. Its like I forget, in time, what I need to do to keep me up. We use the word FLY in the most wonderful way because of FLYLADY. Finally loving yourself. When it clicks, you realize that when you really love who you are and that includes your little brat part, you get organized for YOU. You lose weight for YOU. You get out of debt for YOU. Peggy and I called it, "Enlightened Selfishness." Its the put-your-oxygen-mask-on-first-and-then-assist-your-child idea. I hear about some of you "fluttering." Is that "SORT OF" loving yourself? Lets stop fluttering! FLY now! You are like Clark Kent. You look like a regular person but you are a magnificent child of God and you know it. Clark needed a phone booth to transform into his ability to fly. We can go into our personal inner phone booth and its in there that we learn to FLY. The world is waiting. Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

"People often say that motivation doesnt last. Well, neither does bathing, thats why we recommend it daily." Zig Ziglar Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

I, too, have an innocent childhood career wish that was thought of the wrong way. I was about 8 years old when I announced to my parents that I wanted to be a "lady who walks the street." My father almost had a heart attack! My mother asked me what I thought that job was. I then told her that I wanted to be the "lady who walked up to the parking meters to remove the money because it was the best paying job in the world". I thought meter maids got to keep the coins! Candace and her brat Cindy Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

This is a message I re-post from time to time for new subcribers to make sure they understand what the Brat Factor is all about. The Brat Factor is a "light-hearted" approach to behavioral change and is not for everyone. I know very little about MPD, Multiple Personality Disorder and that is NOT what The Brat Factor is about. Rather it is about recognizing the thoughts behind self-defeating behavior that go on right under our noses. One of Websters definitions for "decide" is to make a choice or judgment. DECIDE implies previous consideration of a matter causing doubt, wavering, debate, or controversy. We all have discussions with ourselves, its just that most of us do not realize those discussions can result in a rather immature decision or choice to act in some way that is harmful to our well being. When we can recognize the self-defeating "voice" which is really a thought, we can do something about it before it becomes an action. We are just learning to ambush our immature thoughts with the compassion and love of a wise parent. Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." Confucius Please remember I am on vacation until June 9. Thank you!

This too reminds me of a sad story. A friend of mines granddaughter was all excited about the dress up week they were having at school The school had let the stu- dents pick what the themes would be each day. On Friday, my friends granddaughter and some of her friends came up with "dress up like the opposite sex" day. These kids are only 7-8 years old, and they all thought it was a great idea. Once Friday came along, several students did dress as the opposite sex, and they had a great time pre- tending. However, someone in town decided that was out- rageous and made a big stink about it. It even made national news on how this school was condoning these kids to question their sexuality. Its sad - how something so innocent in the eyes of a child can get so blown out of proportion by us adults. I find it amazing to watch my own little one. She has no prejudice against anyone She is very young ( 15 months but everyone in her eyes is her friend. I find myself wishing that everyone could see others like a little child does That we all could be so innocent and all just be friends. Leslie Adults think too much! I remember when my son was four the next door neighbor child also four was out in her front yard and she had only been out of the hospital after surgery for just a few days. She and my son were playing and laughing and when I called him in for a rest I asked him, "How does Shelly feel?" He said, "I dont know, I didnt feel her."

Hi Kids, Well Lillys career day has opened up some wonderful and innocent stories and I will pass along the great ones like this. Love, Pam This was delightful. You just have to love the innocence of the grade two mind! I remember when I was that age, I wanted to build and run a "cat house." I had it all planned out and organized, and could NOT understand what the adults were so upset about. It wasnt until I was older that I realized that what I had called a cat house would have been better termed "feline sanctuary": a place where cats could live comfortably and have all of their needs met until good people would come along to adopt them into loving homes. Obviously, Lilly could see all of the healthy virtues of pole dancing in her unblemished little mind, and it was the adults who had to come along and turn it into something unsavory. Maybe she should consider going into teaching physical education. Lorraine

Dear Pam, I am so pumped up with joy right now and I had to tell you what happened today before I come down out of the clouds into purple puddles! My sister and I taught our first get organized class ( it was 102 degrees today) anyway our 14 students were so excited about this first class and they loved meeting each other for the first time and seeing that they are not alone and really in good company! SHEs are awesome!!! We had the best two hours on the planet. We are teaching out of my house and even though the whole thing isnt organized ( yet) I was able to give them, without any shame, a tour that included the very scary basement and the junk room. ( I plan to have a finale tour at the last class in six weeks and show them my success first hand.) About six months ago Shelly and I got the SHE Mentoring Kit and from the day we started your plan to be teachers we knew this is what we wanted to do! We even call each other Sissy like you two do. Because of the Mentoring Kit we were able to get a great feature story in our newspaper and thats how we got our first students! When SHEs get out and meet other SHEs there is such power in the relationship. I have a feeling these women will stay close even after they have gotten their homes in shape. They all traded addresses and phone numbers! We laughed and cried when we went around the room and shared "our" stories. We are so excited about working one-on-one with such wonderful women! I dont think Ill sleep tonight Im so excited about this new career! And my house never looked better because I have the incentive to be a good example to my students and also its like having company over once a week. Thank you again for taking time to create the program and offering it at such a reasonable price! ( One students "tuition" paid for the Mentoring Kit Program!) Hugs from Kathy and Shelly Pam here: When Peggy and I knew that she was retiring and we wouldnt be teaching anymore, we created the SHE Mentoring Kit. It is three audio CDs ( three hours) giving step-by-step instruc- tions for creating a get organized teaching business ( from a SHEs point of view, not a professional organizers point of view) and a DVD entitled: Helping Others to De-junk. The price has been reduced from $69.95 to $49.95 which will help as our country works through its temporary economic problem. In the Mentoring Kit program Peggy and I share all of our experience teaching from getting publicity to a class curriculum and every- thing in between that made our work such a joy. To get the Kit go to www.shesintouch.com and click on SHE Merchandise. Thank you all for your love and support! Love, Pam

Dear Brats and parents, Here is an email I just loved from Lora. It is in reference to the "blank" surprise a couple of days ago. "Let she who is without technical difficulties cast the first stone." Also this story sent to me by a subscriber put me on the floor and I just had to share it with you all. Running With Scissors by Juli of Sew Weird Designs Happy Friday! Well life is never boring around here. I had hoped this week would be a little less hectic but of course its not. This week was career week at Lillys school and as part of her assignment each student was suppose to pick a career and write about it and draw pictures of him/her working in the career. I wasnt too worried about this project since Lilly has expressed several times that she wants to be a waitress in a Mexican restaurant in Mexico. Not actually high expectations but heck whatever makes you happy. I pick Lilly up from school and attached to some papers is a note that there is a problem with Lillys career. It seems she does not aspire to be a waitress in Mexico any longer but a "Pole dancer." Yes you read that correctly, my Lilly has done her whole project around being a "Pole Dancer" as her choice of a career. I just sat on the kitchen floor and cried waiting for Child Protective Services to come knocking on my door. Pole Dancer? Where in the heck did that come from? I didnt want to say anything to Lilly until I spoke to Tony. After dinner I show him the note from the teacher and all of Lillys writing and art work. We bring Lilly into the office and very gently ask her about being a Pole Dancer. Oh she goes on about how much fun it would be and all these tricks you can do. How you can hang upside down by just your legs. She goes on and on and we sit and listen with these horrible images going through our heads. Then Tony asks Lilly where she saw a "pole dancer." All excited she talks about seeing it on the news on how girls do pole dancing to exercise and be strong. She said her best friend Rachael had chosen to be a ballerina and her other friend Olivia had already chosen a gymnast so she had to think of another career. You see it is against 2nd grade manners to pick the same career as your best friend. I asked her why she didnt want to be a waitress in Mexico. Then I got "the look." You know that look that means you are the dumbest person on the planet. "Well mom, how am I supposed to draw a waitress in Mexico." Hmm good question and her pole dancer picture was pretty good. We explained to Lilly that "Pole Dancing" really isnt a career but more of a sport like bowling and maybe she should pick another career that would be easy to draw. Hey how about a doctor? I have a feeling Lillys career picture wont make it on the hall display.

Thank you to all you amazing people for taking the time to write to me. I loved reading all the "thats okay" messages because I goofed on the heels of goofing. Id like to take this time to tell you all that I will be on vacation for two weeks and I will not be answering emails ( because that will be part of my vacation). The person who will be in my office while Im gone is a BO and you would NOT want to get emails from her, because she just doesnt understand how ANYONE can have a problem with organization. Shes a love of a person, she just doesnt get what I do. So, my friends, I will be back on June 8. You will be getting a surprise from me every day ( Id better double check that) just do not respond because I wont get to read it. I loved this email and it really has the spirit of all your emails today! Love, Pam Amen, Sister!! I think you should send out a new quote for the day: "Dont stress the volunteers." Sometimes folks forget that those who do things to try to make everyones life a little bit better oftentimes have lives, too!! I appreciate you and all you do--when I get a surprise and when I dont!! -- Love and Blessings - Earlene Thank you Earlene!! Hugs, Pam again.

Sorry about yesterdays surprise. Most of you are so understanding when this happens, because most of you are SHEs ( SHEs who know about their inner brats). I really thought I had all of May covered! Hope you enjoyed the break! Nelly had me in another world all last week. I got a very bad cold and was so concerned that I wouldnt be able to attend a very important event this weekend. It was a Sweet Adelines district compe- tition which started last Thursday and in addition to singing with my chorus I was invited to be an emcee for the webcast. All I was concerned with was, will I have a voice by Thursday?. I not only had a voice I think it was rather sexy sounding. Of course it might have been my imagination. When I got home Sunday afternoon to discover you didnt get a surprise I cringed at all the emails I had( over 300)and almost all of them had the words NOT AGAIN. I figured the best thing to do was use todays surprise to tell you Im sorry so I wouldnt have to spend the rest of next week answering your emails personally. Hey, remember, this daily surprise is free and I dont have to do this if I dont want to. I have a day job you know! ( Okay, that was Nelly who just took over this paragraph, sorry about that.) Love, Pam

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Orison Sweet Marden

The time is always right to do what is right. Martin Luther King, Jr

The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Mark Twain.

A mans wealth is measured by what he doesnt need. H. D. Thoreau

Many of our fears are tissue paper thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. Brendan Francis

The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth. Albert Einstein I would like to share with you all a link to my friend Miriam’s website. She is a member of my chorus and Ive watched her perform live and have been enchanted. She is a very talented writer and performer and her “takes” on life make me smile. If you have a few minutes, enjoy!http://miriamfeder.com/category/mother/

Choose well. Your choice is brief, and yet endless. Goethe

"You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." Charles Buxton

"Where the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways. Where it is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses." Arlen Price

Today is my birthday so Im taking the day off. But Nelly has something to say. "We get to do whatever I want today! So Pam will be in the garden and off the computer for 24." Dear Pam, I just have to share what I have accomplished in the last three weeks. I am a Flybaby and have been fluttering along with my baby wings and my little inner brat for almost a year. Flylady has sent out emails about the House Fairy and I respect her advice and had bookmarked the site, but since I dont have kids, I didnt know what I was going to do with the information. Three weeks ago, I finally took a peek. I ended up at the place where all the photos have been sent in of the childrens clean rooms and it blew me away. ( More like a God Gust!) I was so inspired! First I felt like I was shopping in a catalogue, looking at the hundreds of different childrens rooms, then I realized these were real children keeping their rooms clean and being proud of it! It made my brat Joni, want a picture of our bedroom on the House Fairy website. Thats all it took! If children can keep their bedrooms neat, I certainly can too. Its been three weeks! Thank you for all you do. J in Texas Have you been to The House Fairy recently? We have added more fun things. In the Parents Tool Box there is a new set of letters the House Fairy can leave. They are called New Letters May 2007. Also in the Tool Box youll find the Curlz MT font you can download so you can write your own letters in the House Fairy font. And youll find the House Fairy signature you can download to make the letters official without your handwriting being on them.

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LETS RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters : ALAS! NO MORE Z S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay Too much time on their hands! ( Probably a son-in-law)

Well, well, well, you kids are something else! I absolutely love you guys!!!!!! Terry and I went on a little mini vacation for four days and I thought I had all my Brat surprises in the "hopper" to go out while we were gone. ( I didnt.) I got home to find todays message a bunch of gobbledegook as one of you said. What was so fun was reading some of the great responses some of you sent!! You guys are a riot. I have to share some of them with you along with my apology for leaving today blank. What you all got was the code for the Nelly silhouette. Love, Pam Thanks for your daily dose of wisdom! Todays is exactly how I feel this morning!! A little jumbled and out of sorts! Have a great day! What a FUN and SYMBOLIC surprise! YIPE..............I feel like that too..........want to share some earl grey tea with me???? Ilse Hi, Nelly, this is Kathy! Is it my computer, or were you playing again? Nelly?! Please be a good girl and let mommy send the messages ok? Debbie and her brat Blair What a surprise!!! Huh, that came through in code????? He he sheri Did Nelly learn a new language? ;) Ooops--your code is showing...Miriam Nelly, This was very profound. Thank you so much for the surprise. I wasnt expecting this. Tee hee. CJ Another surprise? Trying to convince us we no longer can read English??? lol. Wonder what this message is. Keep me guessing today! Linda Nelly, Honey, are you having a bad day? We all have those days, and I understand. Dont give up though, just take a little break and then try again. I love yours and Pams surprises, I always enjoy reading them, keep it up, Ariel and I love ya. Ruth oops The cyber monsters messed up my nice email. Thanks for all the work and the encouragement you send out each day. Smiles, Vickie and the little miss Ok! This was different, Pam! LOL! All I received was the encoded path for the little girl silhouette. It struck me as a bit of a God Breeze...although I didnt see the picture, I recognized the path, so I could still envision what I was supposed to see. We need to be so sure of our routines that we can recognize them without the "control journal," just a "reminder" should be enough to get us moving in the right direction. Leah in Charlotte, NC Sometimes there are just no words to describe how you feel! Hi I think the brats escaped again!! nothing appeared in my letter page,so I thought I would write to you. I found your brat had put her silouette on the reply page, with the message I could unsubscribe. No thank you I will remain subscribed please. I like the uncertainty of your pages. Thanks for bringing a smile to my life. Christina in Fr. :-) If many more come like this, I wont want to receive any more at all!!! ( Nelly here: Should I delete this brat?) hmmmmmmmm, I give up! LOL Are you checking to see if we are awake? OooKay! Dont know what this was going to be, but it must have been good because some Brat somewhere didnt want it to come thru! Isnt it just like them? Leslie and Brat Maggie, who is laughing her head off! Oh yes!! I have days like that also!!!! Oh My! . . . . . Thats easy for YOU to say. DebR

The best way to predict your future, is to create it. Stephen R. Covey

Kids are always the only future the human race has. William Saroyan

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. Harriet Braiker

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. Life is less confusing when we just chose to live in the now where tomorrow is tomorrow and yesterday was yesterday.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. Helen Keller This wonderful quote was brought to you by Sidetracked Home Executives;from pigpen to paradise ( If you havent read it, its one you will love.) Dear SHEs and your adorable brats, From the first day I realized I had an organizational problem, I wanted to conquer it and then help others like me to do the same. Being the very first SHE ( my sister gets second billing here because I am the oldest) I knew together wed somehow win over the chaos in our messy little lives. My first idea for a name ( of course I was still in the mess when I thought it up) was Piddle Dinkers Anonymous. ( Mom called me her little piddle dinker and she said it with such love that I never knew I had a domestic problem until I got married and she didnt come with me.) I fully intended to get checked for ADD ( Attention Deficit Disorder) but I forgot my appointment and got a pedicure instead. I really, didnt need a diagnosis. One time I ended up in the garage with an athletic supporter in one hand and my copy of Manifest Your Destiny in the other. Of course I never did figure out why I was out there. I cant count the times Ive ventured to the mailbox with every intention of getting the mail, and ended up at The Craft Shack or The Permanent Solution ( my hair dressers shop). On one trip to the mailbox, I noticed the cable guy drilling a hole in the neighbors yard and ended up at the mall, getting my ears pierced. ( The holes have since grown back in.) On June 16, 1977 Peggy and I decided to get organized once and for all. We were sick of our chronic attempts and seriously wondered if something was REALLY wrong with us. Little did I know Nelly was behind it all. I was 35 and Peggy was 30 when we climbed out of our caves. We each had three children ranging in age from one to 12 and I was a single mother. Six weeks later we taught our first get-organized class and nine months after that we wrote Sidetracked Home Executives; from Pigpen to Paradise! I have never looked back. . . until now. Sadly seven years ago Peggy was diagnosed with MS and she retired unable to continue in our work. I was lost and numb for a couple of years! I seriously thought about retiring myself, but Marla ( Flylady) gave me new energy. She encouraged me ( as I had done to her before she was Flylady). She was there to remind me of all the people who needed our help. She talked me out of retiring and so here I am flying all over the world with my new best friend the House Fairy and playing with all my fun-loving brats! I love helping people realize that disorganization is like darkness; once the light goes on you are free and out of the dark. It is NOT the mountain our little SHE minds love to build it into, thanks to baby steps, habits and routines and getting rid of the stuff that keeps us from flying. Thats what brought me to write this email; I started thinking about how fun it was for my sister and me to get a handle on our messes. It was so fun that thats why I know Nelly had a great deal to do with it. The book we wrote about climbing out of the pigpen was the first how-to-get-organized book written from a reformed slobs point of view. It was very different from any books and articles on how to get organized on the market in 1978. Until then they were all written by BOs ( born organized). The BOs of the world do not get it and quite frankly dont have the time it would take to understand us. Thats why Sidetracked Home Executives was a best-seller and believe me we ran into many BOs on the way to it being published by Warner Books. If you are a SHE and havent read it, I invite you to do that. Its a great addition to your library of help in learning how to FLY because you will see yourself in its pages and see how Flylady was born out of our work. Sidetracked Home Executives is still in bookstores after 30 years! Its of course available on Amazon but if you go through the SHE website you will see a link on the home page which takes you right to that book at Amazon and Peggy and I get a few cents extra at no cost to you. ( And besides Amazon has great prices.) Thank you to all of you who have supported Peggy and me through the years. Your emails are so loving and appreciative and your prayers for Peggy are greatly accepted. To get your copy of Sidetracked Home Executives; from pigpen to paradise go to www.shesintouch.com and click on the picture of that book on the right-hand side of the home page and thank you again. Love, Pam

We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. Stacia Tauscher

Motherhood: The one vocation which all other vocations exist to support."

Peggy and I got organized thirty one years ago this June and we religiously followed a weekly plan. In that plan we had what we called a "Free Day." ( Our inner brats were alive and well, though we did not know them.) On that free day we didnt have to do anything we didnt want to do! We even planned out our free days by doing linen laundry ( no folding because we stuff the whole clean load into one of the pillow cases thawing leftovers frozen just for free days and eating on paper plates. In the beginning our free day was REALLY a slide back into the pigpen, but we enjoyed the slide. We would stay in our pajamas all day, leave the bed unmade, watch TV until we were numb, talk on the phone and run its curly cord in between our toes and let our sidetracked natures rule the day. That was fun . . . in the beginning. As time moved on, and our habits grew stronger and stronger there wasnt much we didnt want to do, because it was automatic and we werent thinking about wanting to or not wanting to. I definitely think we all need a day in the week to rest and lay back. If we are on a diet we need one day in the week we can break a few rules. If we are on a budget we need to spend once in a while. I met a woman at the grocery store ( a B.O.) who had a "splurging budget." When you are working toward change, for your brats sake, a Free Day is like a light at the end of the tunnel, until you have the changes set in habit and then youll be in the light all the time. To get your free progress report for tracking your brats thoughts click here: The Brat Factory and scroll down to The Brat Factor Progress Report.

When Im an old lady, Ill live with my kids, And bring so much happiness...just as they did. I want to pay back all the joy theyve provided. Returning each deed! Oh, theyll be so excited! ( When Im an old lady and live with my kids) Ill write on the wall with reds, whites and blues, And Ill bounce on the furniture while wearing my shoes. Ill drink from the carton and then leave it out. Ill stuff all the toilets and oh, how theyll shout! ( When Im an old lady and live with my kids) When theyre on the phone and just out of reach, Ill get into things like sugar and bleach. Oh, theyll snap their fingers and then shake their head, Then Ill dump it all on my bed. ( When Im an old lady and live with my kids) When they cook dinner and call me to eat, Ill not eat my green beans or salad or meat, Ill gag on my okra, spill milk on the table, And when they get angry...Ill run...if Im able! ( When Im an old lady and live with my kids) Ill sit close to the TV, through the channels I ll click, I ll cross both eyes just to see if they stick. I ll take off my socks and throw one away, And play in the mud til the end of the day! ( When I m an old lady and live with my kids) And later in bed, I ll lay back and sigh, I ll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes. My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping, And say with a groan, She s so sweet when she s sleeping! ? ( When I m an old lady and live with my kids) Bless All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere! Copyright © 1991 -- Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH ),

From one of my favorite Brat Factor subscribers: I saw this in a computer magazine yesterday and it is so true with many people nowadays. Technology is not always good. Globalization and Fragmentation; as the world becomes more globalized with increasing technology and knowledge, more fragmentation occurs among individuals and societies. In laymens terms, you only need to look into a persons bedroom to realize the seriousness of globalization and fragmentation. For Example: He is stuck on his computer 24/7 with instant knowledge from all over the globe at his fingertips, yet does not know what his family is up to. Remember technology is replaceable, ever changing, and obsolete by the time its five years old, but your child and the moments that you spend together will never become obsolete, they will be cherished memories forever, and will mold the type of man or woman that your child will become sooner than wed want to. So turn off all of those computers and other gadgets, you know what Im talking about and go create some new memories, its a wonderful day. ( Okay so I give a little, you are allowed to use a digital camera.) Love, Rosa

Consider your childs request to tell him a story or read him a book, not as an interruption, but as the most honored invitation you will ever receive. Robert Schuler

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. David Brinkley

To err is human;to blame it on the other guy is even more human. Bob Goddard

When we look into the long avenue of the future, and see the good there is for each one of us to do, we realize, after all, what a beautiful thing it is to work, and to live, and to be happy. Robert Louis Stevenson

Dear Friends, I was out to lunch with my friend Annie yesterday and at the table-clothed deuce ( a restaurant term for a table for two) next to us was a couple eating like toddlers! I guess you could call what they were doing "unconscious" eating because they were oblivious to the scene and the noise they were making. I figure they had either never been taught manners or they were in such a habit of eating like pigs theyd forgotten their up-bringing and the scene wasnt pretty. If you have little smackers who talk with their little mouths full of food, you might like to let them watch the House Fairy demonstrate what it looks and sounds like and then watch her demonstrate the correct way. I remember always telling my kids to "stop talking with your mouth full" and "dont smack." Now the House Fairy demonstrates the teaching. If you could send this link out to all your friends and family who knows, maybe some bigger mouths who could learn something from the demonstration will see it. Last fall Flylady put the House Fairy Chomping Celery video on Jump Cut and we received great reviews. In fact, to date more than 37,000 of you have viewed it. My dream is to have Ellen see the House Fairy ( not so shell stop eating like a pig, but will want to have me on her show so I can spread the word about what the House Fairy is doing around the world). I know her people keep a watch on You Tube and if we can get the numbers up she just might notice. I would love your help and so would the House Fairy. http://www.youtube.com/user/Nellyyoung Love, Pam ( House Fairys best friend)

Try not to be too demanding of one another. There must be a little give and take, and a great deal of flexibility, to make a happy home. Marjorie Pay Hinckley Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man. Aristotle

Okay you all know by now, I left yesterdays surprise blank. I thought Id share some of your darling responses! Thank you for your understanding. Love, Pam Ha! Is Nelly in charge while Pam finishes her taxes? :-) Did Nelly send this email??? ;-) Best, April Campbell ssooooooooooooooo today is a build your own. Hey Pam, I liked our blank email today! It made me realize how easy it is to get used to being blessed and not appreciate it - so, thank you for all the time and effort you put into our daily messages, and thank you for the reminder. :-) Hmm! It is a surprise to get a blank. Could that mean that I should fill in the blank?Heres a quote you might like. Hmm no message today? :( My brat, Julie, agrees with your brat - "tax day" just has no words for the occasion!! as much as I so enjoy your daily surprises I TOTALLY smiled at todays brat just standing there...as brats will do...just defiant and ready to try you to the nth degree. The stance just SAYS IT ALL! :) Nina That message is so cool! :-) Is my surprise today an empty email? LOL mine was empty this morning. Nellie has a tude today? an empty surprise? Was this a "fill-in-the-blank" surprise???..... Yeah.....that was fun! Thanks for giving us a surprise every day. gm

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bravery is not a lack of fear. Its proceeding in spite of it. Anonymous

Every dog should have a man of his own. There is nothing like a well-behaved person around the house to spread the dogs blanket for him, or bring him his supper when he comes home man-tired at night. ( Corey Ford)

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due. William Ralph Inge

I cant believe it! I ran across your SHE book at the library today. Thirty years ago, I first saw you on TV and thought "this was it"! You were going to help this CLASSIC SHE out of the mess of never having clean dishes, clean underwear or unloaded tabletops. I had five kids, and that day I set up that card system in a blue file box. I knew I would conquer the clutter. Believe it or not, I am again going to begin using that old blue file box ( I know its in the basement somewhere, I just have to find it). Im 56 now; working full time and raising my six-year-old granddaughter. We are both genuine SHEs. God does work in mysterious ways, as I long ago forgot about your system ( sorry, girlfriends) and I now need it again. What a joy it has been to read the book again ( library copy; mine is with the blue box in the basement) and laugh and cry with you both. Thanks to both of you for all of the help you have given women over the years. You truly are Angels on earth. Best regards, Judy The wonderful thing about the cardfile system is that you can get back on track ( when you fall off) in about ten minutes. When my sister and I created the system we knew we SHEs would fall off the organized wagon and so we made it easy to get back on. Now that the 3x5 cardfile has been brought back and again available and so affordable, it is worth a try. Hundreds of thousands of SHEs were successful, just as Judy was ( while she was on the system) and she had to type or write out each card. Now for a limited time I am offering the 3x5 cardfile and the SHE De-junking DVD for $24.95 plus postage and handling. To order them right away The Brat Factory

Dear Pam, Thank you SO much for putting "the cards" into digital format. They worked for me in the early 80s and then, after trying many other good ideas over the years, in the end the cards work best for me. Some of my cards are 30 years old! Whenever I quit using them I always knew they were there and the safe spot in the world when things would go bad. Each time Id think, the sisters bailed me out before, so Ill let them bail me out again! You have taken me from hard working single mom to Grandma, who still needs to get it together but is still HAVING FUN! I went back, and re-read Sidetracked Home Executives; from pigpen to paradise and now I get new cards :) So much of what you have said, "to me" about faith and life is part of my morning chat with my brat :) Quick hints that worked for me and feel I need to give back: 1) My professional chores are on green cards ( money is green) and I also use green cards for Christmas jobs. Its easy to keep them separate because most of my "professionalism" is in September as school starts and Christmas jobs start in October. 2) I wanted a new box for my new start, but rather than buy new, I glued bunches of pictures, words etc. all over the outside of it, giving me a continual reason to smile 3) Back in the Box It doesnt matter WHY I fell out of the box, it takes ten minutes to re-set the cards and start over and it works! 4) Everything happens for a reason. I found a card STUCK to a card. It said, "project baby shower." My grandbaby is 10 months old! Im going let it remind me that something that was so important at the time doesnt matter now. Its a great reminder not to be too serious. 5) If you ever get free time, ha ha, consider publishing the inspira- tional cards that were in your newsletter at the beginning of seasons, the ones about appreciating sights and sounds and smells in each month. They were wonderful!! Judy To order the 3x5 card system ( print out cards from a CD onto card stock in the colors you choose) link here: The Brat Factory

Inner work usually doesnt show up in the world instantaneously, it takes time. Remember what Flylady says about taking control of your home, "Take baby steps!" It also applies to our inner child. I didnt get to have the relationship I have with Nelly overnight. It took trial and error on my part and she gave me a lot of grief along the way!! She tried telling me, "This is just crazy! You are talking to yourself, what are you nuts?" Shes very creative so many times I was shocked at the extent of her ability to get to me!! I just kept remembering that I was a good parent with my real kids and I just had one more kid to raise. I believe we were born to have well-being and God gave us all the "inner" tools to have a wonderful life. So, what are the baby steps to take? 1. Communication Start your morning with a talk with your brat. Remind her of your routine and ask her to tell you what she would like to do today that would be fun ( after the work is done). Tell her it cant cost anything and it cant be fattening ( unless youre rich and thin). Constantly keep your inner child in your consciousness. Talk to her, praise her. Smile at her in the mirror. 2. Rewards When it came to putting fun into my life as a carrot to get Nelly to cooperate, I had to really think about what that meant to me. It took me almost a year to realize how simple it really was. It was one word, music. I love music. I told Nelly IF she minded me and cooperated with MY agenda, I would make sure we would have music coming out of our ears. I got an MP3 player to take on my daily two-hour walk and I sing in a Sweet Adeline Chorus. Talk about fun! Ive made 120 friends and I get to sing, sing, sing! Now that would be hell to some people, but its heaven to Nelly and me. Figure out what your heaven is and go for it!

Hi there! Hi Pam, my name is Jodie Guillen, a long-time fan of yours . . . your help has brought my family a long way!!! I have a question for you . . . I am a stay-at-home mom, who happens to run an online store to supplement our income. I am facing a difficult choice at the moment . . . my website either needs to pick up business, or I am going to have to go back to work, thus having to put my precious girls into daycare. I was hoping you might be able to take a look, and offer some tips. I know you are very busy, but I would appreciate any help you could provide. Thank you for your time, Jodie I checked out Jodies website and I found it to be a great tool for parents with young children. Take a look! www.buddiepacks.com Love, Pam

Dear Pam, I loved this quote: "According to the biography of a famous French architect, he asked a small-town Catholic priest what he had learned from 15 years of listening to confessionals. The priest said he learned two things: ( 1) people are less happy than they seem, and ( 2) there is no such thing as a grown up human being." My question to you is, if there is no such thing as a grown up human being, why are people not more happy? A fan in Indiana. Thank you for the quote!! I think most people are not more happy because they just dont know how to live in the Now. We were meant to have well-being, but some how in our living weve forgotten that well-being has nothing to do with with things it has to do with being in spite of things. Love, Pam

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, dont count on harvesting Golden Delicious. Bill Meyer

FYI: THIS IS A RE-RUN, BUT TOTALLY WORTH RE-RUNNING! The nineteenth-century poet and seeker Robert Browning wrote this in his mystical work "Paracelsus." See if it reminds you of someone. There is an inmost center in us all, Where truth abides in fullness. . . And to Know Rather consists in opening out a way Whence the imprisoned splendour may escape Than in effecting entry for a light Supposed to be without. If you listen carefully, perhaps you can hear voices, Calling to you from your inmost center. They are the voices of your own imprisoned splendour: Your forgotten wisdom Your buried joy, And your lost passion Longing to be set free.

Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded. Jess Lair

Judy wrote: Hi Friends and Brats, You may already know this but it is new to us. Its linked to Turbotax; a site called Itsdeductible. It keeps track all year of all of your charitable deductions. It feels great! Its fun! Today we totalled $336.00 in stuff and the best part, Mr. is driving it to the box TONIGHT, so it is really gone!

Okay Nelly wants to April Fool you all so I am turning this computer keyboard over to her. Take it away Nelly. "I am leaving the Brat Factor because I am getting married today to George Clooney and Ill be way too busy playing with him to have anything to do with you all or Pam for that matter. So bye! Ha ha ha April Fools." Leave it to a nine-year old.

The future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating. The paths to it are not found but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination. John Schaar Flyladys words, "You dont need to catch up because you are not behind," are profound. So many times in my 30 year career of helping homemakers get organized I have witnessed that blessed shift in thinking from "Im so far behind its hopeless," to "Wow, I can do this!" One darling woman I was helping re-claim her master bedroom and a huge walk-in closet that threatened entry said to me, "I want to have this done by Christmas ( it was October)." I replied, "Great, but not Christmas this year, Christmas next year." She froze on me. Stared for what seemed minutes and burst out laughing! "Did you say what I think you said, and are you serious?" I couldnt have been more serious. I explained to her, that her daily life shouldnt be interrupted by this project. I didnt know Flylady yet, so I didnt use the words "baby steps," but I explained that THE PROJECT was at least 112 hours of work. That would be two weeks of work from nine to five. But she had little kids, a husband, the holidays looming and attacking THE PROJECT as if it was a nine to five, two week job would throw the whole family off and send her screaming into burn-out. I took out a calculator and figured out 112 hours was 6,720 minutes and I divided those minutes by 15 to give her the amount of days it would take if she worked on THE PROJECT 15 minutes a day. 448 days! Dont get caught up in trying to push the future. There is too much NOW you will miss.

Pam and Peggys Mothers Creed: I am responsible for creating a climate of love, peace, joy, beauty and order in my home. I am raising responsible citizens of the United States of America. What do you do?

If your eyes are blinded with your worries, you cannot see the beauty of the sunset. – Krishnamurti I love knowing I have the power in any given moment to stop worrying. Eckart Tolle says that worry pretends to be neces- sary, but serves no purpose. Once when I was a young, single mother of three small children, I was consumed with worry over finances. The thought, How am I going to make my mortgage payment, was like a majorette,holding a baton, marching backward and blowing a whistle to the on-coming band of worry thoughts ready to move in and play their parts about my financial situation. I thought about those people who jumped off buildings when the Great Depression hit and the stock market crashed. I could understand how they felt. I went out on the deck off my second story bedroom and looked out over my yard with blinded eyes of worry and all I said was, "I need peace." INSTANTLY my worry disappeared! Parade over! Band gone! I was shocked by the instantaneous speed of my transformation in thinking as I was left standing in complete peace. Ive used that statement, "I need peace," many times since that day and it works every time. I think our inner brats are the worriers and we as adults have to recognize that we are worry- ing before we can do something about it. Whenever you catch yourself worried about something, give your brat a mental hug to let her know everything is going to be alright ( and it is) and then declare, "I need peace." You will be amazed.

If you havent thought of this, it is such a sweet idea. Carol writes: I have not had a hurtful childhood like some, but I love the idea of copying a childhood picture of myself to carry around or put somewhere strategic to remind myself of who I am taking care of. As a mom to two girls, it is so easy to put them first and neglect myself. This way, maybe I can remember to put me on a more equal footing. Thank you! Carol

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain

If we are growing we are always going to be outside our comfort zone. John Maxwell

When my sister and I got organized we did it by putting all the jobs for running a home on 3x5 cards that we put in a tickler file. We didnt know our inner brats yet but I think it was our immature inner brat behavior that was the root of our disorganized and chaotic lives. I also think our inner brats lead us out of our pigpens by get- ting us excited about a lighthearted way to challenge and win over the problem. We have known our brats now for almost five years and we both named them Nelly. ( Well, Peggy spells her Nelly this way: Nellie). How I know our brats had much to do with the whole transformation is because we had an on-going feeling of childlike enthusiasm and excitement. That joy opened the door to the light-hearted approach we took facing a very heavy problem. I have known for a long time that the best way for me to suc- ceed with a project whether it was to lose weight, get out of debt or get organized is to get excited about it. I remember thinking how am I going to excite myself about cleaning the toilet? Housework is boring. Id rather play. The exciting thing about the 3x5 cardfile system was that it created a routine that got away from the list-making our mother did. Rebellion! The 3x5 cardfile system is available on the Brat Factor website for $12.95 plus postage and handling. But I am offering a special! Sidetracked Home Executives has been selling a video called The De-junking Video for over 20 years. It is our best selling item ever! We recently turned it into a DVD. The De-junking Video has always sold for $24.95, but now that it is in DVD format we can sell it for $19.95. The De-junking DVD is one of the best tools to get your inner brat excited about de-junking and the 3x5 cardfile is downright simple and fun to use. The combination could be just what you need to get your inner brat excited. Now for a limited time I am offering the DVD and the 3x5 cardfile for $24.95 plus postage and handling. Thats a $32.90 value for $24.95. To order the combo click here, The Brat Factory

This was sent to me from Kelly and I want to share it with all of you. It was written by David Sieker. Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they havent thought about it, dont have it on their schedule, didnt know it was coming, or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I was thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, Ive tried to be a little more flexible. How many people will eat at home because someone didnt suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched television? I cannot count the times I called my friends and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" only to hear an excuse like I cant, I have work to do; I brought my lunch, I wish I had known yesterday; I had a late breakfast; It looks like rain. Some of them may die tonight, so you may never have lunch together. Because we cram so much into our lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! Well go back and visit the grandparents when we get the baby toilet-trained. Well entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. Well go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, well awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "Im going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit." When anyone calls my seize the moment friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and youre ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. My lips didnt touch sausage for years. Being from the Midwest, I love grilled sausages. Its just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I picked up a grilled footlong at a restaurant. If my car had flipped on the way home, I would have died happy. Now, go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to, not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry-go-round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterflys erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask "How are you?" did you listen to their reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "Well do it tomorrow"? And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift. Thrown away. Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the quiet voice before the song is over. "Life may not be the party we hoped for… but while we are here we might as well dance!"

Happy Easter! Here is a link to the cutest little four-year-old singer and although she is singing Happy Birthday Jesus ( a Christmas song) this childs love gives my heart wings at this holy time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=claKP84h9EE

Yesterday was the first day of spring! ( It snowed last night but it didnt stick.) I got to thinking about all the work we put into our yard and garden in order to get them spiffed up for a glorious spring and summer. About a week ago, my husband Terry and I made a list of what we needed to buy at Home Depot, Landscapers Inc. and the Woodland Feed Store. We definitely needed bark dust for all the flower beds, but when Terry punched out 16 cubic yards on his calculator I yanked it away to run the math myself. "16 cubic yards?" I cried as I stared at the square in my hand. "Yes," the calculator repeated. I guess when we put in our landscaping five years ago we had several smaller deliveries of bark dust and we never totaled it so it wasnt such a shock. $800 later ( there goes my plan for a get-away weekend to Skamania Lodge) the place looks ready for Better Homes and Gardens! Now, Ill get back to my thinking about spring. The heather is fluffed up in all the right places and my daffodils clump together with their mouths open like quartets singing big round letter Os. The tulips arent up yet but Im sure they are in the last stages of hard labor. The maple trees that line our drive-way have another week before they burst out with new leaves. It was while walking around the yard that it hit me what a miracle this thing called spring is! What if we had to pay for it? I imagined Terry saying, "Pam, we have to talk." "What?" "With the economy the way it is right now, we just dont have the money to pay for a full blown spring. So youre gonna have to make some decisions about what you absolutely have to have bloom as far as your roses go and we REALLY have a tree dilemma!" "A tree dilemma? What dya mean?" "I mean youre gonna have to pick which ones you want to leaf out and which ones we can leave bare. We cant afford to pay for them all. Like I know how much you love the walnut tree, but do you have any idea how many leaves have to go on just that one tree to fill it out? And then there are the birds." "What about the birds?" "We just cant afford to bring em all in this year. Do you realize how much it costs to travel these days? So again, you need to decide which birds you can do without. You can choose ONE. Pick a bird." "Pick a bird?" "Thats what I said." "But I need my Rufuses, and the robins and the finches and the chickadees and my quail and my crows and those little "walnut" birds ( theyre really called bushtits but I dont like that name) oh and I have to have my blue birds!" "I wish we could afford all of em, Honey, but just take those blue birds for example, they ship from 3,000 miles away! And as much as you love the robins, the cost of feathers ( especially red ones) has gone up 150% in the last year. Oh and those humming birds you love so much are energy guzzlers and we just cant afford to have them this year. Pick a bird." When I came out of my fantasy dialogue I was filled with gratitude! Spring is FREE! ALL my trees get to leaf, ALL my roses get to bloom, ALL my birds get to come, ALL my chipmunks, squirrels, deer, bob cats, elk, yes and even bear and cougar will be enjoying a very free spring right along with me. Thank you God!

Life is self-discovery. I congratulate myself on the good work I do. I grow like a garden that keeps on producing flowers in each season of my life. Edie Jurmaine

Happy Birthday Joanna! Joey is my youngest child and has worked for me for six years. She is such a blessing to me. She has chosen to stay home as a single mom and with that choice came her ability to be there for her kids,for me and for all my adorable brats, House Fairy members and SHEs that go back 30 years. Thank you Joey and happy birthday.

Okay since Nelly is really excited about the House Fairy, every once in a while she gets to let out the word to her fellow brats. Dear House Fairy, Thank you so much!!! I cant say it enough! I have 5 wonderful children ranging in age from 9 years to 7 months, and couldnt for the life of me get them to clean their rooms. This past weekend we decided to take your advice and pull everything out of their rooms. We piled it high ( IT WAS ABOUT WAIST HIGH THROUGHOUT OUR WHOLE LIVING ROOM) and then looked around at the chaos. We didnt realize how much stuff the kids had!! So we decided to get rid of most of it, and keep only the few items that they play with on a permanent basis. They were sad for awhile, but when we told them that all the toys were going to kids who didnt have toys to play with, they got excited to give back! I could not believe my eyes as my own children decided to give away more and more things. It got down to where we only had a small pile for each child!! What an exciting and wonderful day we had! My husband even got into it, by helping organize and sort. It was a great way to spend a Saturday working together as a family. Now my children tell me it is so much easier to keep their rooms clean because they only have a few things to put away. Thank you so much for your help and advice!! We couldnt have done it without you!! Sincerely, Mandy Yates House Fairy here: Clutter = work and you cant organize clutter. Since I have been encouraging House Fairy parents to "gut" their childrens rooms and only put back a minimum of clothing, toys and books, I hear Mandys story over and over again. It sounds so drastic but like Mandys family, they found it to be such a great way to spend a Saturday. We SHEs tend to love all or nothing at all and focusing that kind of desire and attention on the children can accomplish great things. I love that Mandys husband got into the act! ( Putting all the stuff in the living room was brilliant!) Once a childs room is minimalized and streamlined it is so easy for the child to follow my rules for a neat and tidy bedroom: no food in room, no trash on floor, clean clothes put away, dirty clothes in hamper or laundry room, toys and books put away. While the weather is still iffy and until summer tempts us outside most of the time, this is a great time of year to downsize your childrens stuff. Also, now that a new season is dawning its time to say "good-bye" to their winter clothes ( no matter how much you paid for them or who gave them to your child). I can’t wait to start coming to your house. To sign up go to www.housefairy.org and youll be on your way to some fun and peace of mind.

Living in the moment brings you a sense of reverence for all of lifes blessings. Oprah Winfrey

Happy St. Patricks Day! I think a great "green" idea for today instead of wearing green would be to plant a tree! I am going to plant one for good old St. Paddy. And every year Ill plant another one on this day in his name. Happy St. Patricks Day!

"Nobody is entirely useless. Even the worst of us can serve as horrible examples." Mark Twain

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. Ralph Waldo Emerson Right now we are alive and no matter what our circumstances at this moment, we are alive! This Life that is beating our hearts and breathing our lungs is doing just that right this moment and I trust that as long as Life chooses to do that for me, I will trust it in other matters that aren’t nearly as crucial. Love, Pam

Housework is repetitive. It is if you do it.

Are you hemorrhaging your time? As THE first Sidetracked Home Executive ( SHE) to get control of my life by getting organized, one of the first behaviors I became aware of was my ability to "piddledink" ( my mothers term) away hours without realizing it was happening. When I grew up and got a home of my own with no born organized mom to constantly remind me of what needed to be done, I floundered. Because I didnt have a routine I hemorrhaged time, hyper-focusing on minute details ignoring the bigger picture and getting caught up with yacking on the phone, watching television and if Id had a computer in those days, I just might not have written Sidetracked Home Executives with my sister. I know us, and we would have been playing Spider Solitaire and sending each other funnies to send on to all of our other cyber friends. If we hadnt written that book, you would never have heard of Flylady, because she wouldnt have read that book either. Today, watch for those times when you let your time bleed. Limit time on the computer and when you are on the telephone or watching television do something productive with your hands like fold clothes, peel potatoes, wrap a gift. One of the best inventions is a headset that plugs into the telephone leaving both your hands free and your neck straight. There are exactly eight minutes of commercials in a half-hour television program. Promise yourself that you will get up and move around, stretch, get a drink of water while the commercials run. My mother didnt have the distraction of computers and television didnt arrive until I was 12-years-old. She listened to the radio and because she didnt need eyes to listen she got so much done around the house while being entertained. We only had one car so we didnt leave the house during the day, and my sister and I didnt have the schedules children have today. My grandchildren have some special activity almost every day. I think mothers today do far more than our foremothers did and that makes a solid routine that much more important. The best way to stop the hemorrhaging of your time is to establish a routine.

"Dont wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self- confident and more and more successful." Mark Victor Hansen

I was answering an email from a woman and I started thinking about the names we use to describe the rooms in our homes. Basically we have a living room, dining room, laundry room, bedrooms, bathrooms and a kitchen. Then there is the garage. I remember when I was a young mother a reporter asked my son, "What was it like living in a messy house, before your mom got organized?" He thought for a moment and said, "Well, it was kind of cool. No room had a specific function. I could eat in the bathroom, get dressed in the kitchen; sleep in the living room that sort of thing. And there was plenty of everything in every room." I have a challenge for you: lets use our rooms for what they were meant to be used for. For starters, today, lets eat only in the dining room ( no free ranging) and lets just sleep in our bedrooms ( that means no TV). This week, see how true you can be to the function of each room. I’d love to hear from you. Have a great day! Pam

Accept what is right now and make peace with it and you will experience the peace that passeth understanding. If we can practice this moment-to-momentness it will become second nature to us and we will truly live in the NOW and not miss it.

If you cant say somethin nice, dont say nothin at all. Thumper

Pam, This quote made me think of you. It came at the end of our campus school directors newsletter today. "Whoever retains the natural curiosity of childhood, is never bored or dull." Anonymous Thanks for helping us to find and help our brats. Mine is still in charge much of the time - I think I may need a refresher course at your website. Leslie

Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest. Beatrix Potter

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle

Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it other- wise, she would never have been able to find these words. Rainer Maria Rilke

Webster says that self-discipline is "the correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement." Getting to know, love and ultimately guide my inner brat Nelly has been the key to my self-discipline and improvement in several areas of my life. Until I met Nelly, I didn’t realize how much of an affect I could have on myself for the sake of improvement. Playing with your inner brat puts a playful spin on self-discipline! Today, pick one action you will take to correct or regulate yourself. It could be to announce that you will not be eating any sugar today, or you are going to walk for 15 minutes or limit computer time or act out of kindness. You decide.

Hi Pam, I love getting the Brat Factor messages. I came on over from Flylady.net. I love Flylady, and my Control Journal is essential - I have two in case I lose one and also so anyone else can access the one Im not using! I can not get along with the idea of having a Brat, it doesnt work for me, but I liked the emails so I didnt unsubscribe and now I am so thankful that I didnt as I recently joined House Fairy and I love it. Now, I am English and I wonder if that is why I didnt get on with the Brat thing, and I think it is also why it took a few looks before I was convinced by The House Fairy! I have to admit though that The House Fairy has had an amazing effect on my children and even more so on me! Since the House Fairy came to visit I have enjoyed being able to completely empty the washing basket by Friday and not having to do any washing at the weekend. The reason was that we simply had too many clothes between the four of us. My Mum is always buying clothes that are on offer because we cant afford to buy them, but although I tell her we have enough she still keeps bringing more over. Well House Fairy said I was only allowed seven of every piece of clothing and I did as I was told ( maybe Im beginning to understand I have a Brat after all! Problem solved! Less clothes = less washing = happy me! Another problem I had with the House Fairy program was the issue of Fairy Dust, I think Im almost glitter phobic! "Itll get it everywhere," I thought. "Ill never be able to clean it all up." "Itll get spread around the house!" Well despite the reservations about it I decided my kids would love it so I went ahead and joined up and do you know what? It turns out that my Brat ( who knew I do have one!!) LOVES glitter ( ahem, Fairy Dust!) You see I came up with this explanation for my kids that it is how House Fairy checks you swept your room ( clever Mum huh?! and in my room, when ever I see a little twinkle of Fairy Dust it reminds me that House Fairy is watching ( yes I am getting sucked in!) and Id better get on with my Flylady routine! LOL! Thank you so much House Fairy/Brat Factor and Flylady for my happier, cleaner home/family/world! Love Flybaby Cate

Live in the here and now not the there and then. Live here not there and live now not then. Here means right where you are right now. Now means now, this second and now this second and now this second. "There" means somewhere other than "here." "Then" means past or future. There and then are concepts. Now is real. Now is all we have. If you dont like your now, you have the power to change it. How? Thought. Emerson said, "Things are not as they are, but as we are." Thats why ten people witnessing an event will have ten different stories. Your past thinking has created where you are right now. Your circumstances are a product of your thinking. The now you are experiencing is a result of all your thoughts up until now. If you dont like now, change your thinking right now. Finally love yourself. Finally love your life. Finally live in joy. Finally live in peace. Have no fear. Be like an eagle on a branch. If the branch breaks it can fly!

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." Vernon Sanders Law

"Things are not as they are, but as we are." Emerson Dont like your mate today but you promised "til death . . ."? Pretend hes George Clooney or shes Katherine Zeta Jones then treat him/her the way youd treat that star. Youll be surprised what can happen!

An old Irish Proverb: "You will not get the field plowed by turning it over in your mind." Thank you, Geri Cariglia

Shouting at a bud does not make a flower blossom more. Myoki Lehrhaupt When I read this, I immediately thought of how often I raise my voice when Im frustrated with my children. Its so easy to forget that my goal as a mom is not merely to get them to do what I tell them to, but to help them bloom into emotionally healthy, peaceful, and productive adults. Next time I start to yell and they start to wither before my very eyes, I hope to remember this quote. Its never too late to apologize and start again. Blessings, Laurie Ross

The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. author unknown

This is from one of our subscribers: One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes. For every person wed refuse to forgive in our life, we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. Some of our bags, as you can imagine, were quite heavy. We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for one week, putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to our desk at work. The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight we were carrying spiritually, and how we had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget, and keep leaving it in embarrassing places. Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty slime. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity! Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and while thats true, it clearly is also a gift for ourselves! So the next time you decide you cant forgive someone, ask yourself... Isnt MY bag heavy enough? And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. - Mark 11:25

Typoglycemia Dont delete this because it looks weird. Believe it or not you can read it! I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. But beuasce of the phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid ( aoccdrnig to a rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy) it deosnt mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are witrten, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia :)- Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

This video is about 11 minutes long, but well worth the time. http://video.stumbleupon.com/?s=ithct48cqw&i=ufcchmyxqsuj9vwsemax

I firmly believe that all human beings have access to extraordinary energies and powers. We harbor a greater life than we know. Jean Houston

You know youre enlightened when youve set so many "healthy boundaries" they can be seen from outer space. Vanda Mikoloski

My guess is the main reason you read my surprises each day is because you are disorganized and want to change and you are courageous enough to admit you have an inner brat to contend with. ( 1000s of Flybabies couldnt face that fact and fluttered away.) But I think there is more to you: You have a great sense of "play" and your sense of humor is always there to mix with the events of every day. My offering each day always has some element of humor, inspiration, family, wisdom or some quality I feel helps in our collective effort to be organized. When you signed on to the Brat Factor ( most likely because of Flylady) you had some sense that your brat had been running the show and you were willing to figure out what to do with that part of you. I have known my brat, Nelly, for almost five years. If you met your brat when I started the Brat Factor a year ago, you have been aware of your brat for two years. I can tell you, life with your inner brat is an on-going relationship. You cant divorce; you cant get a leave of absence or take a separate vacation. Once you know your brat you are in for the duration. You can "try" to ignore your brat but you know what happens when you do that. You can "pretend" you are running the show, but if youre experiencing the effects of self-indulgence you have to admit you are not in control So, my friends, we are stuck in this business of self-awareness, so lets go back to my motto for The Brat Factor: If it isnt fun, it wont get done." Enjoy this blessed process of inner growth. Enjoy seeing yourself with all your humanness and love who you are right now! You have to love you before anyone else can. You have to be happy with you before you can spread happiness to your family and your world. You have such a head start with this light on your brat. Lets keep going.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the message on well- being. I am in exactly the state of mind you describe; overwhelmed by it all. I am a homeschooling mom of seven; I also have a part time job working nights. My time is really tight, I have a lot to do, and I am so behind that my husband has requested that I just focus on cleaning and organizing this week, and take our spring break early. So I am going to sit very calmly, remind myself "all is well," and plan out my week. I will be sure to give my brat a reward for all the work we are going to do, maybe a pedicure at the end of the week if we get it all done. Or maybe just an afternoon with a good book ( my favorite addiction is reading!). Instead of being overwhelmed, I will remind myself that I have the ability to do this job I have the time this week to get it done I have all the tools I need I have some helpers! My brat and I will sleep better when it is done ( I am a West Coaster, and have been awake the past hour with insomnia!) I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. All is well I think I can sleep now, thank you for helping me achieve peace. Oregon Mom

Today is my son Michaels 42nd birthday. I was only three-years-old when he was born. I was a single, stay- at-home mother for 11 years and there were times when I was so frustrated with everything! I once asked a writer I respected, "If you had to write one sentence that would fit on a medallion to go on a chain around your neck, what would the sentence say?" He thought for a minute and replied, "Everything will be alright." That really helped me through those teenage times. It actually has helped me through a lot since my children are grown. This too: "There is no right time to suffer psychologically over anything. . . PERIOD!" Happy Birthday Michael. Thank you for your life.

My DKs ( 4 and 6) love the House Fairy Theater on Blog Talk Radio! Im glad they are archived so they can listen anytime they want. They love to hear the programs over and over again. They want the songs that are on the shows and we were wondering if they are available? They have memorized that Butterfly song, the one about not put- ting bugs in a jar. Its so sweet! And they want to see a picture of Libby the gal who sings the songs. The six- year-olds kindergarten teacher wants her class to sing the Butterfly song in the spring festival, do you have the sheet music? House Fairy here: Thank you for your kind words. First, to hear The House Fairy Theater go to www.blogtalkradio.com and type in House Fairy Theater in the "search" place. Second, the Butterfly song ( its title is Sophies Song) is on a CD with 11 other songs sung by Libby that you can purchase on my website www.housefairy.org . We do not have the sheet music but it is definitely on the drawing table. By the way I think Sophies Song would be a great song for a spring show for elementary school children. I hope the teacher can make it happen without the sheet music. We are planning to put up a picture of Libby on our website in the next few weeks when she comes in to record more songs.

The House Fairy is pleased to introduce "Toddler Takes," a 25-minute DVD encouraging toddlers to play together nicely. The reason I love the DVD is there are no adults in it and I know children love to watch other children! ( When my kids were little they would stare indefinitely at other children if I didnt intercede.) "Toddler Takes" was produced by a friend of ours and one of Bostons leading television anchors, Mary Richardson and Early Child Educator Karen Bruso. As they were de- veloping the project they talked to a number of experts in the field of child development. The program was awarded the coveted Parents Choice Award and Parenting Magazine said, "Toddler Takes gets an A!" Sesame Street Parents said, "What fun your little one will have watching kids just like him having a really good time." The House Fairy sent "Toddler Takes" to thirty families to review. If have children eighteen months to four years old we have included some of their comments. To read all of them you will find them on the "Order" page at the House Fairy Website www.housefairy,org "This video came at just the right moment. My husband brought it in with the mail just as my 5-year-old daughter and our 3-year-old neighbor were having a mini-meltdown in the driveway. I thought it would be the perfect time to introduce your video about playing nicely. Even my 17-month-old son enjoyed seeing other kids his age playing and tuned in and out." "I especially like that they point out the few scenes of anger or frustration without judgment. Some playtime videos tend to oversimplify or talk down to children. I was pleased to find this video does neither. "As a teaching tool, I think this video works best with discussion. Its a video children can watch over and over and also benefit from seeing other children playing well together and not fighting when things dont go just their way. In a nutshell, this video presents playtime in a positive way, placing attention on the dos and steering clear of the donts.” To order "Toddler Takes" go to www.housefairy.org click on Orders.

Happy Valentines Day! Last year on Valentines Day I suggested spreading romance out through this next year by buying 12 Valentine cards while theyre out on the shelves and give ( send) your sweetheart one a month. Lets do it again this year! Here are some of your ideas for anonymous kindnesses. Love is patient; love is kind and envies on one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. Love keeps no score of wrongs; does not gloat over other mens sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance. St. Paul 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The New English Bible

Tomorrow is Valentines Day! Dont let your brat talk you into chocolate in the name of love! "If you cant be a good example, then youll just have to be a horrible warning." Catherine Aird

Subject: House Fairy for Adults? Hi Pam, Im wondering if I missed something or if I am imagining things, and I hope that you can help me! A year ago when you first started telling us about the project you were about to launch ( which turned out to be The House Fairy) I "thought" that you mentioned there would be something for adults who do not have children. Did I dream that you said that? Or is there something in House Fairy that is for adults, or is there something more still to come? Thanks for all of the help and encouragement that you give us every day. Elspeth in San Diego Hi Elspeth, I did say there was something in the House Fairy for adults, but I didnt say the "without children" part. Maybe you were "hoping" I said there would be a program for adults without kids. I termed my idea "The Clarence Principle." It was my hope last November to encourage parents with children still in the home to rally and finally get organized, if not for themselves, for the children. I asked that parents work on their bedrooms to get them streamlined and then when the surprise came out ( The House Fairy) they would be in the position of being a good example. ( You cant tell your kids to make their beds if you are still in yours.)We have over 12,000 subscribers to the House Fairy and Im finding it is working backwards. Parents are getting excited about helping their kids get organized and its rubbing off on them! I dont care how it works; I just care that it works. The House Fairy was not designed for adults even though the child in us loves the whole idea. I ( well Nelly) loved creating tools that motivate kids and accidentally motivate adults. How cute is that? Getting organized is not the mountain we build it up to be by "thinking" too much when we are in overwhelm mode. The best way out of overwhelm mode is ACTION. The House Fairy calls children to action. She tells the child to go to his/her room and put away five toys. Thats it! Just five toys. You asked for help so here it is: Go to a room in your home and put away five things. Thats it. Just five things. Do not think about anything but that. Do not think to yourself Im in such a mess, Ill never get out, I need help, I cant do it, I dont have time, I dont feel good, I dont want to, just think about the five things and put them away. When you have put that first set of five things away, proudly write your feat down. THEN set your timer for 15 minutes and see how many sets of five things you can put away in that time. Put on some music it will help to keep you from thinking as will counting the sets of five things. You will be so surprised how you feel when the timer goes off. Focus on that good feeling and if you want to, why not pretend the House Fairy is coming to your house. Love, Pam The House Fairy

Many of you struggle with disorganization as I do. Remember I am in nervous remission. But in that nervousness, I dont let my messy tendencies get out of hand. In other words my home is never more than 15 minutes to company ready ( and that is for the whole house). When every room is HOURS away from "company" and I HAVE BEEN THERE, we can easily become overwhelmed and in that state of mind we freeze, bust out of the place or retreat under the covers. All those actions make things worse. I have thought a lot about that feeling of being overwhelmed and I know it is a state of mind based on true facts and circumstances. But the good news is states of minds can be changed even when the true facts and circumstances havent. In fact if you are overwhelmed by a messy house, obesity, indebtedness, an inharmonious marriage, whatever, your brat has gotten you into, you have the power to change your mind right now and decide to not be overwhelmed. In fact that is the best place to start! In the olden days in small villages, there used to be a town crier and each night he’d cry out: "Its ten PM and all is well." How comforting to hear those words! We can use those words on ourselves. Look at the time right now and say to yourself: "Its ( say the time) and all is well." The reason behind wanting to be organized is that we want peace. We know that in that peace we can be more loving and more joyful, but guess what! Peace, love and joy are states of mind and they can be had regardless of our cir- cumstances. Seek those states of mind and you will be amazed at how much easier getting organized will be. All is well.

This was in response to the email on February 7 talking about the word Quest. I wrote: "We turn the desire to change something into a QUEST! We reach deeper into ourselves for the resolve. We draw an imaginary line in the sand with ourselves. When we QUEST ( Quit Using Excuses Sabotaging Triumph) we turn moment-to-moment decisions into black and white. When we QUEST there is no wiggle room." I love it! I am a Warrior-Princess on a Quest to find the True Me, hidden under the layers I use to protect my Real Self from Outsiders!! Im not Catholic ( nor Lutheran – Presbyterian, and they dont "do" Lent but have often thought about giving something up for Lent. Aside from the spiritual aspect, this Quest adds to the drama – and eventual Triumph! – of Lenten sacrifice.

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. M. Scott Peck

Thank God for cranky people for they teach us not to be that way. If you are a cranky person and dont want to teach us, get more rest and your teaching career will be over!

A Recipe for Cold Turkey I was talking with Flylady and she said that it seems we SHEs are very successful at change when we go "cold turkey." It instantly resonated with me. There is something dramatic about going "cold turkey," and God knows we SHEs LOVE drama! When we cold turkey it, we put several ingredients into the recipe: steadfastness, resoluteness, dedication, commitment, persistence, and determination. We turn the desire to change something into a QUEST! We reach deeper into ourselves for the resolve. We draw an imaginary line in the sand with ourselves. When we QUEST ( Quit Using Excuses Sabotaging Triumph) we turn moment-to-moment decisions into black and white. When we QUEST there is no wiggle room. Lets get dramatic today. Pick one thing you are going to stop doing, then lets go Cold Turkey! Just a reminder only seven days until Valentines Day.

I know this is a repeat, but I like it a lot. SPELL CHECKER ( author unknown, but hats off to them!) Eye halve a spelling checker; It came with my pea sea. It plainly marks four my revue, Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word, And weight four it two say, Weather eye am wrong oar write; It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid, It nose bee fore two long. And eye can put the error rite; Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it; I am shore your pleased two no, Its letter perfect awl the weigh. My spell checker tolled me sew !

"Your doing fine Oklahoma, Oklahoma OK!" I just had to sing while I typed that line!! I am going to be in Tulsa for the Flylady and Friends Convention on February 8,9,10 at the Tulsa Convention Center. It will be my first trip ever to OK! I hope to see some of my brat friends and their parents at the get-together.

Across the fields of yesterday He sometimes comes to me, A little lad just back from play The lad I used to be. And yet he smiles so wistfully 5 Once he has crept within, I wonder if he hopes to see The man I might have been. Thomas S. Jones, Jr. 1882–

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. Dennis Waitley

Occasionally I slip in a House Fairy "experience" just because, well I am the House Fairy or maybe Nelly is, anyway, our brats do get a kick out of whats going on with other kids, so here is a letter from a mom who wants the House Fairy to demonstrate a hissy fit. House Fairy this is the first fan letter Ive ever written! To tell you the truth, I’ve never found the time to write to an author or a celebrity so I am gobsmacked that Im writing to a Fairy! But I seem to have more free time of late. When my DD5 watched your video on how to clean out a drawer she said, "Mum we can do that cant we?" It is so funny that she listens to you teach, but Im just, well, Mum. Now she is an expert on what you teach on the videos. It is amazing! Could you add a teaching video on throwing hissy fits? When you demonstrated on how it looks and sounds to talk with your mouth full, she really took that in and told her auntie not to do it when she caught her. If you could demonstrate a hissy fit I think we could nip that one very quickly. Thank you. Becky House Fairy here: I would love to demonstrate throwing a hissy fit and we could show the affect it has on PaPaTerry. Im sure he would love to take part in that one. Here is what another mom wrote to Kelly at Flylady. My grandmother did a live illustration of this for my six year old cousin. When Jeff would lose at a game of checkers, hed get angry and throw the checkers and checkerboard in the air. Grandma let him win, and then SHE got angry and threw the checkers and checkerboard. Jeff stared at her,open-mouthed. "What are you doing, Grandma?" She said "Well, you do that when you lose. Isnt that what Im supposed to do when I lose?" Jeff learned sportsmanship and went on to become a star athlete in high school. Grandma died at age 96 and is still missed. Jan

Today after I did a short search for my scotch tape, I remembered a hint from a home organization book I read years ago, "After you find it, put it away in the first place you looked for it." The first place I looked for it was its most natural home. Anyplace else is probably a good idea, but not the best one. Lora

Hi Pam and Peggy, I have been on a rampage of joy with Flylady and her emphasis on the 27 fling boogie and last week my DH and I were culling the VHS tapes and I ran into the SHE De-junking video. Being a big SHE I did what any self-respecting SHE would do, I watched it! I had purchased it in 1990 ( I know that because I was pregnant with our now 18 year old daughter) and I remember it really inspired us to de-junk in time for the baby. The same inspiration came over me again as I watched you two take on a junk drawer step-by-step. Your humor made me laugh all over again and my DH even sat down and watched. I now use Flyladys Control Journal instead of the 3x5 cardfile SHE system but as I watched the video I saw how in tune Flylady is with your ideas. Does the SHE Dejunking Video still exist? Pam here: Peggy and I had a blast making that video. We had been organized for about 13 years so when a crew of about ten came up from Hollywood and trashed my kitchen and adjoining family room to our specifications, most ( especially the executive producer) couldn’t believe I had really lived that way. Then my son dropped by during the shoot and he had such a nostalgic look on his face when he surveyed the two rooms and validated our reenactment. Now, to answer your question, yes, the SHE De-junking Video is available and now its on DVD and we are able to sell it for $19.95 which is five dollars less than the video sold for in 1990. Flybabies can go to www.shesintouch.com and click on SHE Merchandise to order it.

Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed. Michael Pritchard

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." Goethe

POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mum, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organ- izational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES : For the rest of your life you must: Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. PARENTS in appreciation for everything you do on a daily basis, please know that you are appreciated for the fabulous job you do. ** THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

Change the reason and make it work! I have Leanne Ely to thank for this brilliant idea. I watched her make a smoothie with a frozen banana and a bunch of other stuff in it and it hit me like a ton a frozen bananas I have frozen over the years and never used. Why? Because I dont bake banana bread anymore but Id freeze them when theyd get too ripe, thinking, maybe I could make some nice banana bread DTR ( down the road). Then inevitably when the frozen black fruits had done their time, Id pitch them with a snitch of guilt. That has gone on for years, mind you! Well, since watching Leanne pull a peeled frozen banana from a Zip-lock bag to put in her smoothie I am now peeling my too ripe bananas, and storing them in a gallon size Zip-lock bag in the freezer for SMOOTHIES, not banana bread. The frozen banana, along with other frozen berries and fruit make the smoothies just like a wonderful milkshake. Be sure to peel them first they are very hard to peel while frozen in their slimy black jackets. Thank you Leanne!

One of our brat parents had a great idea this morning: Create a word document with "great quotes." Copy the ones you like from the 365 emails to have them on hand to refer to. Or sticky-note quotes in places you can read them and over time you will memorize them.

Do you run a homeless shelter? Dear Pam, My husband and I both work so we got a cleaning service for the deep cleaning that we dont seem to have time for. They come when we call, no more than once a month. However, we havent called for a while because the clutter was starting to pile up. You cant clean if you dont have surfaces. We had to "clean for the maid." It WAS like having the House Fairy come, knowing that someone else is going to see what state we live in. I still had a junk room and a junk cabinet where a lot of stuff I didnt know what to do with got hidden, but stuffing more into it made me want to clean it and give all that "homeless" stuff a place. I guess we could call the junk room and the junk cabinet "Homeless Shelters," the conditions of which were overcrowded and not very loving. I will say, it was amazing to close down those shelters and have the place be clutter-free with all those homeless things that I was going to "get around to" putting away, put into their rightful homes. And it didnt take as long as I thought it would. We are now going to do our best to stay out of the Homeless Shelter business. I should have taken pictures of the before ( I will now that the place is clean)! Jen ( and FaFa) The homeless shelters we have in our homes are no more than collections of postponed decisions. If we devoted 15 minutes a day to "decision making," in one of our homeless shelters, we could feel the peace of an un- cluttered home by the time spring is here.

Hi Pam, I just LOVE the C.S. Lewis quote. Every time you send it, I write it down on a post-it and then promptly forget where I posted it ( true SHE fashion) but I LOVE it. Yesterday I didnt want to get out of bed and face the day at ALL! I knew we were "stuck" at home because my oldest daughter is recovering from strep throat, and I wanted to be anywhere BUT home with these four children ( Im a home schooler). As I got up and checked my email and was reading my Bible for the morning, God reminded me that what I do every day is a JOB, a profession, a true career, so I had better be doing my best, with His help, to BE the best I can be at it. These four and my sweet DH are depending on ME, and its important! Periodically I need that nudge and reminder, when I begin to live for the weekends and evenings that DH is home and I start to spend longer and longer on the computer rather than doing things with the kids. I dont have them for long. Theyre 11, 9, 7, and 4 already! I need to "make the most of every opportunity." Sometimes it IS so tiring, though ( even when I go to bed on time!). My oldest and youngest are BOTH in the "WHY" stage and my ears often feel as if they will fall OFF. I also really appreciated your message the other morning about telling yourself, "Its ALRIGHT!" It was timely, too. I wont go into that story right now. You are such an encouragement to me, knowing youve DONE THIS before and survived to thrive as a grandmother and you even grew up to be a fairy! WOW! What aspiration! My youngest daughter just LOVES the House Fairy. The other two roll their eyes at me, and weve still got major kids room issues, but House Fairy encourages ME to enjoy them and the process of teaching. I hope you have a wonderful blessed day. Down here in Louisiana were thankful for you! Love, April Hi April, Your email did to me, what my email did to you. In the winter I cant get out to walk early in the morning which is what I love to do. Instead I have to hit the computer and answer emails and sometimes, like you, I just would rather stay in bed or read, but you made me remember why I love what I do! Its women like you who have made the right choice to put family first, who understand the day-in and day-outness of your work. And if I can encourage just one person whose ears are ready to fall off, I have been about my Fathers business. I DID survive and those years go faster than you can imagine! Just a little inside info, when you have grandchildren they will grow up faster than your children did! I now have a teenage granddaughter and she is an inch taller than I am. Even fairies cant slow down time! April, you are doing the most important JOB in the WORLD. You and your husband are wise and your choice will pay off in ways you cant possible imagine right now. In your telling yourself everything is alright also tell yourself how proud you are of you and how much you love you. To "love thy neighbor as thyself" has NO power if you dont truly love and adore the you that God made. Have a wonderful day with those snuggle bunnies and to include you! Love, Pam P.S. My daughter and mother of four called me one day and said, "Mom, earplugs are better than tranquilizers. They really take the edge off and I can still hear whats going on!"

"The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist to support this ultimate career." C.S. Lewis

Apples dont sit around wishing they were big like watermelons. Ken Keyes I love this testimonial for the House Fairy! THANK YOU!!! My five-year-old had made a beeline for his room to clean it at the first mention that the "house fairy" might come to visit. The next day, my ten-year- old organized all of her drawers and she hadnt even received her introduction letter yet. The House Fairy came to visit this week and although the children were disappointed that they hadnt had time to clean up their entire rooms, they are determined to get things in shape. The House Fairy even visited my hubbys office and he was quite surprised himself. Hubby and kids are eager to not disappoint next week. Thanks so much for being a positive encouragement for our family. Y.P. To sign up for the House Fairy click here: The House Fairy

Nelly and I have been organized for 31 years! Before I got organized, at best, I coped. At worst I made excuses, searched for a working pen, missed appointments, searched for my glasses, stomped out fires, searched for car keys, minimized the problem, searched for my kids inoculation records ( I know of several re-inoculations blamed situations on other events and people, searched for my purse, fought every day with my unhappy husband, searched for the mail and wished for a miracle. Richard Bach wrote a book called "A Bridge Across Forever" and it has been years since Ive read it, but what captured me was the concept of a person meeting the person he would be thirty or forty years later. If that were possible, if the person I was back in 1977 could have met me today I would have so much to tell her. For sure I would say, "Get organized. Quit whining about it, thinking about it, talking about it and just do it. Its not the mountain youve built it up to be." But more important I would say, "Love who you are now. Love where you live now. Love your life, be happy, play with your kids more, sing more, praise God for this wonderful life." So, love who you are right now. Love where you live, who you live with, and dont wish for a miracle to pull you out of the mess, the miracle is you. The miracle is life.

Pick it up, dont pass it up and then put it away. If you dont exactly know where away is, you at least know vicinity.

You know that feeling when something is bothering you, but you cant remember what it is? Its like that feeling when you put your underpants on backwards only much more subliminal. This morning I couldnt figure out what was bothering me and the more I tried to discover it the more it eluded me. I tried living my morning over again in my mind to catch when the feeling arose, but I have my mornings so automatic with routine there wasn’t anything different to get me bothered. Finally I said to myself, "Okay, just stop feeling like something is wrong, because there isnt anything wrong. You got a good nights sleep, you ate a good breakfast, the bed is made, you walked your pants aren’t on backwards and there is no reason to have this feeling, so STOP it right now, everything is all right!” Do you know that feeling fled like a scared rabbit and it has not been back? Sometimes we need to get stern with ourselves if we have a tendency to worry or be anxious. We do have the power to tell those feelings to leave. Everything IS all right!

Krafty Garlic Chicken and Macaroni Salad Dinner ( A tasty dinner from The Phony Gourmet available at www.shesintouch.com . No one will ever know that most of this tasty dinner came from a box! The fresh chicken breasts are tender and so delicious cooked in the creamy garlic cheese sauce. The pasta, with the variety of mixed vegetables, is bright, colorful and luscious. PREPARATION TIME: 10 minutes COOKING TIME: 26 MINUTES SERVES 4 1 ( 7¼-ounce) box Kraft Macaroni and Cheese 1 tablespoon olive oil 4 boneless chicken breast halves, skinned 1 cup buttermilk ½ teaspoon Lawry’s Garlic Powder Coarse Ground with Parsley 2 drops red food coloring 1 drop blue food coloring 2 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed 3 tablespoons Catalina Dressing ( or your favorite salad dressing) Salt and freshly ground pepper 1. In a 2-quart kettle, boil the macaroni according to the package directions. Drain and cool. 2. In a medium skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Brown the chicken on both sides ( about 3 minutes on each side). Remove from heat. 3. In a small bowl, mix the buttermilk, garlic, the dry package of cheese sauce from the Kraft package, and food coloring drops. ( You are going for a nice brown color, rather than the "give-away" orange of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.) Pour over the chicken, cover, and simmer over medium-low heat for 20 minutes, turning the chicken occasionally. 4. In a food processor, finely chop the mixed vegetables. Add to the cooked macaroni and toss with the salad dressing. Season with salt and pepper.

As I was practicing reading The Happiness File so I would be rehearsed and well prepared to read a chapter in the sound studio ( I will be offering the Happiness File on CD very soon) I came upon the name of a person Peggy and I wrote about. He was a public relations executive who was hired by American Express to escort us on a 16 city tour to "sell" American Express to women. The only reason American Express wanted us to go to the 16 biggest markets was because some hot shot executive saw us on People are Talking with Oprah Winfrey in Baltimore. We had gone on the show with a picture of Carl Malden ( who did American Express commercials and made famous the words, "dont leave home without it."). We told Oprah that we put a picture ( we had a big one) of Carl on the inside of our front doors to remind us to "dont leave home without the kids, the list, the keys, our purses etc." I remember Oprah loving the thought and we all got a good laugh. Ill tell you in a later email the gory details of that tour. Today I called that person who escorted us for three weeks. I had not talked to him in 25 years and what was amazing was, within one sentence in his voice, he melted those 25 years! I guess why Im telling you this, is because I encourage you to call someone who has slipped into the past, but you enjoyed your time with him or her. Make that call. I used the internet to find this person and it just took going to the big "G" Google!

Many of you know I sing in a chorus ( Sweet Adelines) and my chorus competes internationally. We are currently working on a song that is by far the most difficult song weve sung and Im sure our director is planning to have us sing it in our next competition! Yikes! For some reason my brain can memorize the notes in a song faster than it can memorize the words and this song was no exception so I could hum the sucker without a mistake, but the words evaded me. Because of the difficulty I had in memorizing the words I kept putting it off. It was all Nellys fault, she just kept saying, "Its too hard!" So I figured a way to get my practice in. Whenever I caught myself thinking a negative thought ( usually one Id thought before and was well rehearsed) Id hum the melody of this new song and the negative thought would disappear into the nothingness from whence it came. Then when my brain finally got all the words to this song memorized, Id interrupt negative thinking with the words and the melody. This practice has had me singing much of my days! Oh and the title of the song is “Smile Medley.”

The supreme urge within us is love, which is a spiritual quality that in truth has no opposite. Heaven on earth is a choice you must make, not a place we must find. Wayne Dyer Home may be defined by some of us as a small apartment or a mansion; others may say it is wherever we are. I love my home and it reflects peace, order, beauty, harmony, love and joy. Where ever I go I feel "at home" because I choose to go places that also reflect peace, order, beauty, harmony, love and joy. I choose to surround myself with loving, peaceful, joyful, harmonious, beautiful and organized people. Over dinner tonight the subject of "mean spirited people" came into our conversation. Neither of us entertains any "mean spirited people" in our lives. They are just not present. Lets be sure we stand guard at the portals of our homes and resist letting in "mean spirited" people and when we are out and about we can claim that same protection. If there are "mean spirited" people in your life pray for them by seeing them in the light of love, peace, joy, harmony, beauty and order. Use your imagination to envision them in this light and then be about your own business of keeping your own light bright shining.

This is a re-run, but since it is the official Brat Reform School Al Ma Mater, Nelly feels the need to repeat it each year. Remember it is sung to ( sorry about this) Disneylands "Its a Small World." Its a brats world after all Its a brats world after all Its a brats world after all Its a bra ats world Your inner brat is boss if youre overweight Your inner brat is boss if youre always late If youre broke its your brat If you smoke its your brat Its yout inner brat Its your brats fault after all Its your brats fault after all Its your brats fault after all Its your bra ats fault.

To be happy at home is the ultimate of all ambition. Samuel Johnson

I am having more fun than I dreamed with all of you who are working on your finances with me. Those of you who have read the GOOD Book: Get Out Of Debt are emailing me about the surprising joy you are having. Many of the emails are coming from your adorable inner rascals; you know the voice in you that says, “Let’s buy that even though we have one in green and even though we will have to charge it and even though we don’t know how we are going to pay for it, because we want it NOW. Here is a letter from one such little spender ( Rosie) writing to my inner child Nelly. OK, Nelly!!! Heres what is going on...I am royally MAD! My Mom is listening to this BOOK she put on this thing called an MP3 player!!! I worked so hard to convince her she needed this TOY that would play music. I finally ( deviously, I might add) told her she could use it to listen to FLYladys archives ( didnt know what it was, but it sounded good...). It worked! I even got her to buy a PINK one...oh, how I LOVE QVC!! Of all MY rotten luck, Mom found a link to your Moms book. Oh DRATS here comes my mom. Leah here: Rosie HAS worked overtime to keep me from ordering your new book. For once, she has failed, and I am listening to it. You have outdone yourself, my friend! Just wanted you to know how grateful I AM for you and your commitment to help us all become the women God wants us to be. May your book be more successful than you ever dreamed! May everyone who hears it grow closer to God, and give Him praise for granting you such wonderful gifts to share! Peace be with you! Leah & Rosie in Charlotte, NC Join us in our happy journey out from under the stress of debt! http://budurl.com/YTTheGOODBook

Spiritual stories are primarily about inner liberation that plays out in the world. Dr. Arthur Chang My definition of inner liberation may be rather simple. For me getting to know and love Nelly has been liberating.

When you look for it, there is nothing to see. When you listen for it, there is nothing to hear. When you use it, it is inexhaustible. Tao Te Ching We can’t see Life we can only use it.

Life is more than the preservation of what has been. It is the experience of the beauty, the joy, and the rapture of being alive. Over my 65 years I’ve really had to work on being happy with change. My face helps a lot ( one of the wrinkles on it is starting to look like the grid for tick-tack-toe). It tells me the one thing that will not change is the fact that change is inevitable and I’m still the me that loves being alive.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. Dr. Seuss

If you want to be organized and you are not, you must first change your thinking. Thats exactly what a shiny sink helps you to do! You cant look at a shiny sink and not smile and that smile will change the direction of your thought.

Dont strew me with roses after Im dead. When death claims the light of my brow No flowers of life will cheer me: instead You may give me my roses now! -- Thomas F. Healey Testimonial for the SHE De-junking video. Thank you, Pam and Peggy, for the Slob Sisters De-Junking DVD! I simply emailed my friends to let me know if they were interested in watching the DVD. We scheduled the showing for last Saturday. The best part is that your DVD affects me even when Im not on a de-junking mission. Ill say more on that in a minute. In theDVD, you were motivational. Getting the concrete ideas on what to do is so helpful. This DVD gives specific baby steps to de-junk. I made my three boxes: put away, give away/sell, and storage and got a trash bag for trash. Even when I am not de-junking, I put things in the boxes as I go by. Thats what I meant by the DVD affecting me even when Im not de-junking. I simply put the item in the box as I pass and it takes no time at all. My thirteen year old son has been watching me. He has decided to clean his room. One woman is picking a place in her home to de-junk each day. She emails me and I de-junk the same area. Its really quite fun. So far, weve de-junked a kitchen cabinet, a kitchen drawer, and the shelf where our washcloths are kept. Well, she has done the washcloth area. That shelf is for me to do today. Even if we were not happy with our success at de-junking, we would have enjoyed the DVD. It was entertaining and funny. Three people who were unable to come to my de-junking party ( one is a man and he didnt want to be the only male) want to borrow this DVD from me. Thank you so much! Sandy Henderson Dear Friends, The SHE De-junking Video is 45 minutes long. Peggy and I teach you step-by-step how to de-junk your home. The principles we teach will work if you are de-junking the trunk of your car, a school room, a family room or a hospital! De-junking is all about making decisions. Peggy and I have made it our life’s work to put humor into our teaching tools. My motto: If it isn’t fun it won’t get done effects every area of my life. When we can be entertained our lessons are easier to swallow. I love the idea of having a neighborhood de-junking party! To order the DVD go to www.shesintouch.com and click on SHE Merchandise. Happy New Year!

After starting off 2009 with two blank surprises, I received more than 400 wonderful loving emails from some of you. ( My daily surprise goes out to 15,000.) To my surprise, many of you "enjoyed" the blanks think- up your own thought for the day. But this woman gave me an idea and Im going to use it. Hi Pam and Nelly, I really enjoyed the blank ones, strange how your imagination gets a hold of it and makes its own Surprise of the day you can enjoy. Maybe you should add one or two during the year, just to Surprise us :-)))) For 2009 I wish you all the fun and good fortune you can hold, enjoy and keep on Surprising us! Can even be done with blank ones :-))))))))))))))))) Love Cori and Sanne ( the Brat) The Netherlands

If youre going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude. - Colin Powell

Sick in Seattle! Hi Everyone! ( Well those of you who stayed with me! We lost about 200 brats.) We’re back!!! Nelly is puffed up as big as a blow fish with all the wonderful emails we got saying you missed our surprise for two days. Thank you to all of you who wrote to me! There were just too many to respond to. Let me explain what happened. First of all after three years of sending out surprises every day I finally noticed that the hopper that holds all the messages ( so I can be ahead of myself) only goes to December 30! For three years there has not been a December 31st slot, so that’s why you’ve received a New Year’s Eve message on December 30th and then received a gobble-dee-gook message on the 31st. So I emailed my webmaster on December 30th and asked him to send my New Year’s Eve message out to you manually on the 31st and then we went to Seattle to spend the holiday with my son Michael and his family. Well, my webmaster never got my directive and then to my horror ( while in Seattle) I remembered I had not put messages into the hopper for this year! There was no way to do it from Seattle because I didn’t have the password to get onto the place where I post the surprises. I was just sick about it. But next year you ARE going to get a New Year’s Eve message on New Year’s Eve! And Nelly and I are going to keep on our toes in 2009 so you don’t get blank messages even though I know how much you enjoy them. Let’s have a wonderful 2009 together! Love, Pam and Nelly

Remember the big deal concerns you had going into this day ten years ago? Everything worked out! Oh, just a friendly reminder: D D & D tonight. (If you cant figure out the three Ds, scroll down. My big surprise is only 24 hours away! Dont drink and drive.

Less than 48 hours until no more fights, no more arguments, no more battles when it comes to getting your children to clean their rooms.

If you live where it snows, play in the snow today. If it didnt snow where you live play outside anyway. Just imagine not being the "bad guy" when it comes to getting your kids to clean their rooms and keep them clean. The answer is just around the corner. In fact, just three days until lift off of the House Fairy.

If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character. If there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home. If there is harmony in the home there will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation there will be peace on earth! The next Great Brat Bash to celebrate our Brats is Saturday, Feb 3 in Vancouver, WA. Achieve a new level of self-discipline, get organized and celebrate your inner brat. Class will start at 8:30am and goes until noon. Who knew self-improvement could be this much fun? The fee is $20. (Brats come free.) Learn more about how your inner brat has been sabotaging your efforts to get organized, lose weight, improve relationships, and get your finances in order. To register go to www.vanclarkparks-rec.org click on the red Rec Connect circle on the right side about half way down. Then click on Classes/Activities and type in 38678 in the Find a class/activity by its number and click search. It is slow but it will get to the registration. Hope to see you there.

Consider your childs request to tell him a story or read him a book, not as an interruption, but as the most honored invitation you will ever receive. News Flash: Using Santas leverage to motivate your children to clean their rooms is gone for a year, but in five days youll learn about my terrific new program that will have your kids running to clean their rooms year round.

December 26 I had a flight attendant tell me to soak my rings in vodka to clean them. Hers were beautiful.

December 25 Merry Christmas! Really!

December 24 Heaven is right here in the midst of you. Jesus came to tell us that! Luke: 17:21

December 23 Heres how to hang a picture on a wallpapered wall without visible damage to the wallpaper. Dont pound a nail through the wallpaper to mount your picture hanger. Instead, use an exacto blade to slice an upside-down V, about 1" long. Peel the wallpaper back carefully and pound in the nail. When you want to take the item down, use a glue stick to paste the wallpaper back into place. If your knife was sharp and you replace the wallpaper carefully, youll never be able to tell it was ever disturbed.

December 22 Housework is repetitive. It is if you do it.

December 21 This is from Nelly, Pams inner brat. Here is a great magic trick that adults think is icky, but I love it. Shake a bunch of pepper over a full glass of water, enough so that the pepper makes a floating island. Have a friend stick his pinky in the middle of the pepper. He will get pepper all over his pinky. Add more pepper because a lot will be on your friends finger. When you stick your pinky in the pepper, it will run away from your pinky. Your friend wont believe it! The secret is that first ( without your friend seeing you do it) you stick your pinky in your ear and get a little ear wax on your pinky. I guess pepper hates ear wax!

December 20 There are miracles in every moment. What a privilege and a joy it is to be part of life.

December 19 Often knives are dull in fully equipped kitchens of vacation properties. You can sharpen dull knives on the bottom of a ceramic mug. Sharpen just as you would if you used a knife sharpener.

December 18 Just thought Id share our Christmas letter with you. Merry Christmas! Im a mouse and I live in the basement of Terry and Pams house. Im known (by my friends and family) as Chris Mouse because I love Christmas! I love the decorations; the parties with all the food and crumbs that get left out after them and I especially love the Christmas tree. It always looks exactly the same yet I hear Pam say, every year, "This is the most beautiful tree weve ever had." I had to move my family right after Thanksgiving (another favorite of mine) when Pam hauled out the Christmas decorations. I didn’t mind being tossed out because it is giving us a chance to have compassion for the homeless and especially during this holiday season. See I found this box of stuff in their storage room that turned out to be the perfect home for us. It had a house that sort of looked like a barn with one wall missing. It had hay in it and the cutest little bed my wife and I fit in perfectly. We stored up food in the hollow people and animals that were with the barn and Ive got a great tip: Chewed up newspaper mixed with hay makes for great bedding! Pam freaked when she got into our box and saw what we’d been up to! 2005 has been quite a year for my family and me. Actually Ive lost eight wives and sixteen children to the Tillamook Cheese trap. (Terry can’t eat cheese, says it clogs him up, but Pam buys it by the brick load (and she complains about her weight) and they are evilly impressed when they snap one of my dear ones.) At least they don’t have a cat, although there has been talk of how "cute" kittens are and "wouldnt it be fun to get one?" So far the nocturnal aspect of those evil predators has kept a cat out of our house. Terry and Pam need their sleep or theres hell to pay. Theyve been gone a lot this year and although I don’t know where they go, at least it gives me cheese-free time to build my family back up. I showed my first wife (God rest her soul) where Terry keeps the birdseed and she was able to store a ton of it in our little hollow friends. Unfortunately Pam caught her in the sack and now they keep the seed in a plastic tub, Im working on. I heard Terry tell someone, "We buy 50 pounds of birdseed a month." What a bragger. Why don’t they call it mouseseed? We love it as much as the birds. Weve lost a lot of birds this year. God love em, they think they can fly into windows! I personally have never run into a window and my cousins (the bats) never make that mistake either. Birds must be dumber than cheese. Oh well, I love it up here in the mountains in spite of the casualties. We have deer, elk, eagles, bear, cougar and Pam claims she saw an otter one morning. She also knows a porcupine who seems a little retarded and actually lets her get very close to it. Not to brag, but my new wife and I have 43 weddings AND 79 christenings to attend before the New Year! I hope this Christmas letter finds you and yours happy and healthy! Love, Chris Mouse

While I was in Boston playing with my grandchildren for two weeks I had a great idea! The kids are only allowed one "sweet" a day so their collection of trick-or-treat candy stored in a communal plastic bag (about ten pounds of rapidly aging candy) was up in the cupboard. Every day theyd rifle through the miniature candy bars and pick one. One day as I lugged the bag down for their daily sugar fix it hit me! We could make a candy house! It took us a couple of delightful hours unwrapping all the various candies and putting them in plastic sandwich bags. It looked like the candy version of Home Depot, with all the bags filled with like building materials: miniature Tootsie Rolls, Hershey Bars, Crunch Bars, Red Vines, Whoppers, Hershey Kisses, M & Ms, Skittles, etc. I then made a house form from cardboard boxes and made a chimney running from the bottom of the house up past the roof. I used thick mailing tape to stick it together. I got a recipe for Gingerbread House frosting off the Internet: 2 cups confectioners sugar, ½ teaspoon cream of tartar, 2/3rds cups boiling water and two egg whites. Beat all together until mixture forms firm peaks. When Christmas candy goes on sale, you could buy it and make a really Christmassy house.

Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends! You are so blessed to have your faith and your fellowship steeped in such Divine tradition.

I talked about my grandmothers (Granny) coziness, which always joins me during the holidays, but in this rather stressful experience with our daughter, Kristi, Granny has been very close with her wisdom. Granny was not very smart, but she was wise. She was uneducated and had grammar that would drop the jaw of your average English student. One of her "sayings" was, "Oh, it dont matter," and "Oh, he dont mean nothin by that." I remember confiding in her about an affair my first husband had and she listened to my lengthy and tearful diatribe, only to respond, "Oh babe, he dont mean nothin by that." And you know what? When I look back on it, he didnt mean nothin by that. As the holidays unfold Granny is right in my face reminding me. When our flight home from Boston through Chicago was cancelled, it dont matter. When we were diverted through Dallas (a five hour flight) and got home at 3 am our body time it dont matter. When I couldnt find just the right tree, it dont matter. Lets "it dont matter" our way through this holy time and enjoy the season free of pettiness. And even if we let a little anger, stress or other negative attitudes creep in, it dont matter! Kristi told me there is a comparable saying in New England. Whatever! (pronounced whatevah!)

December 14 Edible Play-Dough 1 cup peanut butter ½ cup powdered milk ½ cup wheat germ ¼ cup honey Stir together. If sticky, add more milk powder. Decorate with raisins, coconut, vegetable sticks, bean sprouts, or red-hot candies. Good for children 18 months to 7 years. Fun for 4 children.

Once we were on a tropical beach in the dead of winter but it was 98 degrees and we came upon a crowd including a couple of photographers eagerly snapping pictures. If youd like to be "the hit of the beach" without wearing a thong, take the makings for a snowman to the beach: hat, scarf, carrot for the nose, big black rocks for eyes and small black stones for the mouth. Make your snowman out of sand and dress him up. The kidsll love it. It could be a good photo op for a family Christmas card.

I have been gone for two weeks to be with our daughter Kristi in Boston who had a mastectomy and needed help with her recovery and care of her three young children. I have been away from my computer and have not read or answered emails, so please understand that I love you all, but due to these circumstances my heart just isnt in my work. I ask that you not email responses until after Christmas, when I promise to play with all of you once again. Kristi has the best doctors and has a wonderful attitude as she moves forward with the therapy prescribed. She is such a light and we are blessed to know she is in Gods hands and will learn and grow through this experience and journey. I dont remember who said this (it could have been Buddha or Mary Tyler Moore) whoever it was is right. If the only prayer you ever prayed was one of thanksgiving that would be enough.

"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful and since weve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow." Every year I pray for snow. Here in the Pacific Northwest, its not a given it will snow, but theres always a good possibility. I would not like to live where there are no seasonal changes in the weather. I guess the thought of a blizzard outside while Im roasting chestnuts on an open fire inside (even though Ive never done that) sounds so cozy. Webster defines cozy as: "enjoying warmth and ease, marked by the intimacy of family or a close group." When I was growing up our house was always cozy, but as the holidays came closer, the coziness factor seemed to rise. I think the coziness factor is genetic. I got mine from Mom who got hers from Granny. Every home Granny made was cozy. Three of her homes I can remember were only two rooms; two, cozy rooms. I remember one winter the Northwest experienced what they call a Silver Thaw and the electricity was out for a week. We had to live at Grannys because a wood cook stove heated her home. Although I cant remember the details of our stay that winter, I can still recall how thankful we all were to be warn and together, with plenty to eat. When the Silver Thaw melted, we went back to the convenience of an all electric home. Granny stayed in that house with the wood stove for many years and when she and my grandfather moved to another two roomer, it too had a wood cook stove. Grannys coziness could be attributed to three things; simplicity, cheerfulness and thankfulness. Her life was very simple. She didnt have much in the way of material goods. Three of her most valued possessions were a bottle of ink, a fountain pen and pretty stationery. She possessed the most beautiful penmanship Ive ever seen. Her cheerfulness was undeniable. (I inherited her ability to be easily amused.) Granny got such a kick out of little things. She loved nature, animals and flowers. She had a prized collection of four leaf clovers. She liked to press pretty leaves and watch spiders spin their webs. She loved to walk. Her thankfulness was profound. She almost seemed wealthy by her praise and gratitude for life. Anyone who didnt know her could easily have felt sorry for her. After all, she was poor. Self- pity was not in Grannys vocabulary. Its easy to feel cozy when I think about Granny. Although she didnt leave a very big mark on the world, she certainly left one in my heart. She died in 1976, but as the holidays approach, her memory becomes bright along with my desire for simplicity, joy and thanksgiving. Happy Holidays to all you cozy people!

Smile anyway.

Music (your favorite kind) is one of the best mood changers. You can’t sing and be mad. If you’ve got a big family and you want less bickering, always have beautiful music on in the background.

For a fabulous seafood sauce, render (that means simmer for a long time) balsamic vinegar until it has thickened. That’s it. Yum yum.

The French Chef I made hors doeuvres for the party Put them on a fancy plate I gave my concoction a French name My guests gladly took the bait La Viande Dheir Soir Est Sous le Fromage Sounds tasty and sure to please The truth translated to English The Meat From Last Night is Under the Cheese

If you must send a Christmas letter, do it ONLY if youve been told by 100 people that you are a good writer. If you are an excellent writer and you still must send a Christmas letter dont list illnesses or Little League and Soccer schedules of the last year. And dont brag. Too many Christmas letters may as well have the guys W-2 form and airline flight stubs attached to it. Merry Christmas! (Sounds like Andy Rooney wrote this, but he did not. Once in a while Im afraid you will get a dose of one of my pet peeves.) This is the letter Im sending. By all means not a masterpiece of writing, but it is free of using a Christmas card as a platform to update my friends and acquaintances with the events of my personal life in the last year. Merry Christmas! Im a mouse and I live in the basement of Terry and Pams house. Im known (by my friends and family) as Chris Mouse because I love Christmas! I love the deco- rations, the parties with all the crumbs and extra food that get left out after everybody goes home. I especially love the Christmas tree. It looks exactly the same every year yet I always hear Pam say, "This is THE most beautiful tree weve ever had." I had to move my family right after Thanksgiving (another favorite holiday of mine) when Pam hauled out the Christmas decorations. I didnt mind being tossed out because it gave us a chance to have compassion for the homeless and especially during this holiday season. See I found this box of stuff in their storage room that turned out to be the perfect home for us. It had a house that sort of looked like a barn with one wall missing. It had hay in it and the cutest little bed my wife and I fit in perfectly. We stored up food in the ceramic hollow people and animals that were with the barn and Ive got a great tip: chewed up newspaper mixed with hay and the guts of a small stuffed animal makes for great bedding! Pam freaked when she got into our box and saw what wed been up to! 2006 has been quite a year for my family and me. Actually Ive lost eight wives and sixteen children to the Tillamook Cheese trap. (Terry cant eat cheese, says it clogs him up, but Pam buys it by the brick load (and she complains about her weight) and they are evilly impressed when they snap one of my dear ones.) At least they dont have a cat, although there has been talk of how "cute" kittens are and "wouldnt it be fun to get one?" So far the nocturnal aspect of those evil predators has kept a cat out of our house. Terry and Pam need their sleep or theres hell to pay. Theyve been gone a lot this year and although I dont know where they go, at least it gives me cheese-free time to build my family back up. I showed my first wife (God rest her soul) where Terry keeps the birdseed and she was able to store a ton of it in our little hollow friends. Unfortunately Pam caught her in the sack and now they keep the seed in a plastic tub, Im working on. I heard Terry tell someone, "We buy 50 pounds of birdseed a month." What a bragger. Why dont they call it mouseseed? We love it as much as the birds. Weve lost a lot of birds this year. God love em, they think they can fly into windows! I personally have never run into a window. Birds must be dumber than cheese. Oh well, I love it up here in the mountains in spite of the casualties. We have deer, elk, eagles, bear, cougar and Pam claims she saw an otter one morning. (Shes blind as a bat, so Im not sure about that one.) She also knows a porcupine who seems a little retarded and actually lets her get very close to it. Not to brag, but my new wife and I have 43 weddings AND 79 christenings to go to before the New Year! I hope this Christmas letter finds you and yours happy and healthy! Love, Chris

If holiday entertaining seems to be a big issue with you (feeling obligated to do the big party, dinner, decorations etc.) dont do it! Do what corporations have been doing, downsize. Instead of making a list of employees to yank out of the company, make a list of all tasks involved in your idea of the holiday season. Then ask yourself three questions of each item on the list. (Evaluating the list will help you decide what matters most.) 1. Why am I pulled to do this? (If the answer is because I love to do this, you dont need to ask the other two questions.) 2. What would happen to our familys holiday spirit if I axed it? 3. Is there a simpler alternative? Entertaining should be fun. It is for many people. But if its an obligation it loses all the joy the holidays promise. So how can you still have the fun of the season with less work? You have to give up control. For the holiday feast, invite EVERYONE in the family to share in the event. Sort of potluck the whole event, not just the food. Let the kids decorate the tree. Let Aunt Bea organize a game. Let Grandma bring her famous cookies. Let Norma bring her fabulous vegetable hors doeuvres. Let John, yes John, set the table (and leave it the way he does it). Let your mother-in-law organize clean up. (Clean up can be a memorable holiday tradition when approached properly.) Most people love to help, especially when invited to someone elses home. Its a matter of relinquishing control and letting everyone in on making the event a success. I created the Brat Factor to help people look at life with new eyes. My motto is: If it isnt fun, it wont get done. I would add to that motto, if the holidays dont bring you joy, get those "new eyes" out and re-think your priorities. If the holidays arent fun, whats the point? Happy Holidays!

December 4 This may be too late for this Christmas, but theres always next year. I was putting a very old set of king-size flannel sheets (green, black and white plaid) on our bed and discovered a tear in the fitted bottom sheet. When I enticed the tear, it tore as easily as newspaper on a fold. I made rags out of that bottom sheet and started to put the top sheet which had so much more life left (after all, its job throughout the years has only been to cover us.) into the Goodwill bag. Then it hit me! Its wintry colors and its size would make a great skirt for the Christmas tree and it did!

Its just around the corner! That fabulous tool we promised you that will INSTANTLY help you get your children organized. Your mouth will drop open when they run to their rooms to clean them. We have almost all the bugs worked out on the brand new website and we will be unvieling it in just a few days....were not sure which day yet but soon. We have tested it on more than a dozen children two to eleven and they all love it. We hope you are having a great weekend. The Surprise is soon!!

For the birds . . . winter food 1 pound lard 12 oz. jar of crunchy peanut butter 1 pound melted suet Put all of the above ingredients into a double boiler and stir together over medium heat. When thoroughly melted and mixed, pour this mixture over the following dry ingredients, which have been put into a large pan: 2 pounds (32 oz. box) yellow cornmeal 10 pounds of wild birdseed Mix all together and pour into containers. Use large cake pans and cut into squares or use smaller containers such as small cottage cheese containers, tuna cans etc. Wrap the "cakes" in wax paper or foil and refrigerate. Pinecones can be used by pushing this mixture inside the cones. Hang "cakes" or cones from tree limbs or in a birdfeeder. Serves about 752 birds.

In my messy days, I knew the holidays were near when the kids Trick or Treat sacks were left with only wrappers and remnants of a discriminating sweet tooth. Lint covered jellybeans and tipless candy corns were the solemn reminder that Halloween was past which meant Thanksgiving and Christmas were coming. The good news was out to swarms of gnats and testy Yellow Jackets that there was a heaping box of decaying apples in the garage. Swollen zucchinis, too big for anything, lined the patio while cookie sheets of pumpkin seeds, meant for fireside treats, molded in the autumn sun. I wondered every year where the summer went as I finally took in the chaise lounges, barbeque, garden hoses and plastic wading pool so I wouldnt have to play Name That Lump after the first snowfall. I knew that the season was upon me when the last stubborn leaf suc- cumbed to a merciless gust. Remember the story about the grasshopper and the ants? The grass- hopper goofed around while the ants worked. While he was socializing they were organizing. He danced and played his fiddle while they stored up food for the winter. The organized ants warned the procras- tinating grasshopper that hed be sorry when winter came. In September, my organized friends would remind me the holidays were coming. But since I was just like the grasshopper, I con- tinued to play. Content to live for the moment, I set aside my good intentions as easily as setting aside a pillowcase stuffed with delicate hand washables. The pain of procrastination always came when it was too late. Thoughts of a crackling fire on a stormy night made me wish Id ordered that cord of firewood last month. Knowing that thinkers ahead had pantries bulging with gifts from the harvest and humming freezers pregnant with sides of beef and homemade goodies, only added to my pain. I wished Id had fruitcakes tucked away somewhere (even though I hate them.). As Id stand in line to pay full price for Christmas cards and gift-wrap Id feel cheated. Id try to remember what Id been doing last year when the half-price sales were on. It is that kind of kick-yourself-attitude that can push the disorganized over the holiday edge. I call it HBO (Holiday Blow Out). HBO is brought on by the mere mention of crimson ribbons, quilting, calico or patterns for old-fashioned anythings. The sight of decorated store windows, the aroma of evergreen boughs and bayberry candles or the voices of Steve Laurence and Edie Gorme still pounding through the snow on a wild sleigh ride (recorded in some sound studio in Burbank) can drive all of us in search of holiday merriment. Before you are overcome by HBO, remember the grasshopper. In the end he was fine. Because of his good humor and talents, he was invited by the organized ants to join them. In exchange for entertaining them with laughter and song, the ants provided food and shelter through the winter. One of the miracles of Christmas and all spiritual holidays is that whether we are prepared or not, none of us is denied the wonderful blessings that go with this time of year. The celebration does not depend on candy canes and plum pudding. You dont have to be organized to sing Christmas carols or offer gifts of love and companionship. Understanding cant be stuffed into a Christmas stocking. Forgiveness cant be charged on a Visa. Laughter cannot be gift-wrapped. Peace cant be strung on a tree or poured into a glass of holiday cheer. Forgiveness, understanding, laughter, and peace are not dependent upon decorations, feasts or even a certain time of year. These things are gifts of the Spirit; gifts that have already been given to every one of us. Join together like the grasshopper and the ants. Share the gifts of the Spirit and celebrate this holy time.

I love the idea of sneaking to put Christmas ribbon around all the stuffed animals necks! My sons (ages 8,6,4) are animal lovers and oh what joy they will have to know all the stuffed animals were included in Christmas! I will add this to my new plan/fun I have decided on this year. My plan is to put three gift bags under the tree with each boys name on one. These bags will not hold a gift, but will hold clues as to where their gifts are hidden! The boys will be oh so disappointed when they see only one bag each and then when they see that it only contains paper, well! I just hope Im awake to see their faces! Baby will be having a hay day watching the boys this Christmas morning! -Amanda and Baby

Dear Pam, On Christmas morning we liked to sleep in until 9:00am or so, but then our younger kidlets wanted to get up early. We compromised by letting them come down for their stockings as early as soon as they awoke, with gift sharing to begin at 9:00. Santa always packed the stockings with some sugar cereal (a special treat only on Christmas and camping), a banana, orange and a can /bottle of some exotic fruit juice/nectar (another Christmas only treat) to tide them over until break- fast. There were also always some small gifts to open, including two handmade Christmas ornaments to add to their personal collection (named and dated), some scratch-off lottery tickets, family favorite beef jerky, and a few Christmas choco- lates. Santa always knew best! When the kidlets were younger (and went to bed earlier than I), I would sneak around (often on my hands and knees) as they slumbered placing festive Christ- mas plaid ribbons around each of their stuffed animalsnecks, in dolls hair and on the dogs collars. They were enchanted by the magic and mystery of how that could happen! I certainly felt like a tooth fairy cousin trying hard to leave the "goody" without waking anyone up - often a challenge of slow movement and breath holding on my part!

Most people do not realize the many health benefits of gratitude. Studies indicate that thankfulness is directly linked to physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Compared to people who do not live a lifestyle of thankfulness, research shows that grateful people: 1. Experience higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination optimism and energy 2. Experience less depression 3. Better manage stress 4. Are more likely to help others 5. Exercise more regularly 6. Make more progress towards their personal goals 7. Have stronger immune systems 8. Have fewer symptoms of physical illness Those are some impressive benefits that can be yours without even increasing your physical activity or changing your nutrition plan. All that is required is a grateful heart. Are you a thankful person? If you are unsure, then it may be in your best interest to consider the following questions: Are you the type of person who dwells on the good or on the bad things that happen to you? Do you tell others about the blessings in your life as much as you tell them when things go wrong? Are you considerate of the people closest to you or do you often take them for granted? Are you thankful only when things are going well or do you look for blessings even when bad things happen? Is there someone you admire who is a thankful person? What other attributes do you admire about him/her? Are you leaving a legacy of thankfulness that others will remember you by? There is nothing complicated about gratitude. Quite simply, thankfulness is a choice. To say we feel grateful is not to say that everything in our life is great. It just means that in spite of all we see that is worthy of complaint, there is far more we can choose to focus on that is worthy of thank- fulness. Why not choose to extend the tradition of giving thanks through the entire year, instead of limiting it to the Holiday Season? You’re physical, emotional, and spiritual health will all reap the benefits of a thankful heart. The choice is yours.

Here are some great ideas from a subscriber. When my son was around nine, I found a preprinted "stocking" that you cut and sew that is about 3 high. When it was completed my little fellow could stand in it. At the time I was actively protesting the pressures of store bought Christmases and trying to find innovative ways to cut back on the expectation to have lots of presents under the tree that just werent necessary or appreciated. At age five he had so many gifts to unwrap that he quit unwrapping and retreated to his room to play. So in the course of a couple of years we started some new traditions. Every year we get a large "family" gift: TV, new stereo, game system, furniture or something that will benefit all of us. (This year we uncovered the original wood floor of the kitchen/entry way and its going to be beautiful!) We decided that we would rather unwrap one or two things that we had really been wishing for, than 10 things that would go almost straight to the Goodwill box. Now, he gets his stocking filled with a couple of fun things in larger boxes and gift-wrapped and some small silly games or toys, a CD and batteries-always some batteries, a snack of some sort like candy or nuts and a Pez dispenser always in the toe. You should see him dig for that every year! I usually spend between $20 and $50 total. He even talks about his "stocking" during the year. Another tradition we have is 12 for $12. We go to Target or K-mart with $12 each to find 12 gifts to open the 12 days before Christmas. We had so much fun unwrapping a candy bar, fishing lures, gum; its challenging to fulfill your quantity of gifts requirement, wrap them so its difficult to guess and stay within your budget. Im always fascinated by what my re- sourceful child can put together. Its a great life lesson for little people (eight then, now 16) to be able to get his 12 and stay within the budget. Its a good reminder to me too that there are limits and very good reasons for respecting them. Thats our Christmas. We take cocoa and see the lights, go to church service and spend most of the month expressing our love by doing things for each other in little ways and large. Its a beautiful season if you remove as much of the commercialism as possible....regardless of your financial status.

The House Fairy and I recently took a trip up to the North Pole to visit her brother, Santa Claus to see whats new in the stocking stuffer department. Mrs. Santa Claus (Margie) is in charge of that and she was very happy to show us her latest line of stuffers. She starts each season with an empty shoebox for each child and by Christmas Eve the shoebox is filled with all the goodies shes collected for each child and the contents are perfect for the stockings Santa puts them in. She explained this year all good boys and girls will receive gifts in their stockings which please each of the five senses. She told us her husband fills stockings for all ages, so her ideas range from those for small children to those for teenagers and even moms and dads who have been good. Gifts for the ears: CDs Earrings Muffs Whistles Mp3 players Concert tickets Radios Ipods Earplugs Gifts for the nose: Perfume Room deodorizer Candles Incense Noseplugs Breath Spray Certs Tic Tacs Gifts for the eyes: Goggles Sunglasses Eye make-up Eye drops DVDs Movie Tickets Kaleidoscopes Opera glasses Crayons Color books Gifts to touch: Foot warmers Gift certificate for a massage Bubble Bath Ben Gay Gifts for taste: Nuts Candy Fruit Gift certificate to restaurant Starbucks The Popcorn Factory 1-888-216-0235 Harry and David 1-877-322-1200 Mrs. Sees Chocolates 1-800-347-7337 Mrs. Fields Cookies 1-800-266-5437 Mrs. Santa Claus told us she wraps some of the gifts, but not all of them. "Wrapping slows down the sock gutting process and extends the length of anticipation which is a gift in itself." Margie told us when Santa gives a gift certificate; he puts it inside a balloon, blows the balloon up about the size of a lemon and puts it in the sock. He uses balloons for other small stocking stuffers like jewelry and money. "Balloons help fill up the sock (theres something disappointing about a half-filled stocking) and its fun for the sock gutter to have to pop the balloon to get the gift." When we left the North Pole, the Christmas couple told us that filling stockings is one of the most creative parts of their job. They said its fun to take the extra time to make the filled stocking one of the best parts of Christmas morning.

Here I was feeling sorry for myself, bored and procrastinating, in a messy room that was pulling me down, rehearsing, "Why cant I just be skinny? Why do I have to constantly clean up after everyone? Why dont I have an impact on the world? Why arent my wins recognized by the world? Why doesnt anyone like me enough to care? Why, why, why? Then I read the email from the woman who got a kick out of her clean fridge! Wow! Well, maybe stewing about these irrational thoughts isnt going to help me! Where is my thinking going to take me today? In a deep dark hole, where no one will notice me! I am so glad this woman reminded me that I CAN clean up for me! It is not a job to dread, but something to make ME smile. I wonder if I am the only one who drives herself to be depressed? Why dont I learn from these times? I exercise and I feel good. I clean and I feel a sense of accomplishment. I eat right and I feel like I am taking care of myself. Why is it so hard to get started sometimes? Well, I think I am going to go take a look in my fridge and see what I can do. Maybe, Ill listen to a little Flylady radio while Im at it. Thanks for reminding me that Im alive and worth it, whether I am writing a novel or cleaning the fridge! Heather Mississippi Hi Heather, You know what? I think we SHEs think too much. Your email could have been written by me when I was young and in such a mess. Every time I quit thinking and just DID what ever I was thinking about, I won! And almost every time I did something I was dreading, once I got into it, I (the fun-loving part of me) actually had fun. The secret is to get as many of the jobs we think about doing, put into the column marked HABIT. Once you have established a habit you auto- matically do it and you dont leave room for thought. I hope you are getting a kick out of what you did to the fridge. Love, Pam

Recently I have written about what I call the Clarence Principle. Clarence, the angel, saved George Baileys life in the movie Its a Wonderful Life. Clarence faked drowning so George would get his mind off HIS problems and jump into the river to save him instead of committing suicide. Im not trying to get my wings, but I thought if I could get you to focus on helping your kids get organized, YOU would get organized too. So Ive come up with an incredible program to get your children to be organized. I have refined a two-generation tested idea that will have your children singing and dancing as they clean their rooms. No arguing. No tantrums. No battles. Children from three to ten will WANT to clean their rooms, help around the house without being told and have fun getting organized. I can hear you saying, "Oh yeah, sure." Well you just wait and see. Youll be amazed! You will get to test part of the program before you purchase it to make sure it will work with your children. I cant tell you more. Okay, okay, it has something to do with Santa Claus sister! What? You didnt know Santa has a sister? If we meet all of our deadlines, the program will be available Monday morning! Just in time for Christmas! Now you know why Ive been having you work on cleaning up your bedroom. You cant tell you kid to make his bed when youre still in yours.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving for all of us grateful Americans! I am going to spend a great deal of my day in the kitchen, today, but thats because I love to cook! If I didnt like to cook, Id be begging to be invited to someones home that can. It wasnt always a joy to be in my kitchen. Heres a poem I wrote to describe one memorable Thanksgiving. Turkey Stuffing Pamela Young copyright 2004 My mom always fixed the Thanksgiving feast The meal? A traditional winner I know she rose before the sun cause she told us all through dinner As a young mother I decided one year That I should take over the job Mom was very impressed that I Would volunteer to host the mob For our family had grown to sixteen With cousins and uncles and aunts The meal involved some traditions A recipe that came in the pants Of an ancestor who crossed over On the Mayflower moons before The Young family Sausage Stuffing With ingredients more than four The sausage must come from a pig thatd eaten Only the best of slop The place to get that fabulous meat Was at Gristles Butcher shop The crumbs I must use in the stuffing? Make from Young Family Sour Dough Bread Mom gave me starter as a wedding gift By my first anniversary it was dead It was Thanksgiving morning when I really looked At her plasticized 3x5 card With its seventeen special ingredients This was gonna be hard I had none of the stuff to put into The 25 pound fowl in my face Gristles was closed for the holiday No bread crumbs, no fresh cloves no mace Id looked in the red-checkered cookbook For directions to roast the bird If I didnt get it in the oven soon My substitute choices would be absurd The clock was ticking To stuff was my goal So I shoved a Cornish game hen In that turkeys hole As my secret roasted I turned my table Into a veritable treasure trove I couldnt wait for Mom to see Id managed to cook two birds with one stove At the table that memorable day My husband proceeded to try To remove the little bird from the big one And I really cant tell you why But the infant refused to budge from there All eyes were narrowed on me I gave my husband some scissors He performed an episiotomy Like a National Geographic special That little fowl came out A Thanksgiving to remember The next year I served trout Have a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!

If you are married to a critical spouse as I was for fifteen years before I divorced, check out what one SHE did to show her husband how lucky he is to have a loving, wonderful wife, mother and recovering SHE. Just go to my website www.thebratfactor.com and click on testimonials and it will pop up. Its long, but worth your time to read. If you are married to a wonderful spouse who nurtures your well-being, give him a hug and a big, smacker of a kiss and tell him how blessed you are! If you are single and want a wonderful mate, begin being one now.

Thanksgiving Holiday Feast Plans: On track and Sidetracked ON TRACK SCHEDULE 6 a.m. Exercise, shower, fix hair and put on make-up. 7:30 a.m. Say prayers, read inspirational material. 8 a.m. Make bed, dress, eat cereal, nonfat milk, toast and fruit, take a walk, and check appearance of the front door. 9 a.m. Stuff turkey with stuffing prepared yesterday, have children set holiday table. (Silver was polished yesterday.) Boil potatoes (they were peeled yesterday and have been soaking in cold water overnight). Make pies (pumpkin filling, apple filling and dough were made yesterday and refrigerated). 10 a.m. Listen to holiday music; check table, centerpiece and candles. Bake pies. Whip potatoes and set aside to be micro- waved just before serving. 11 a.m. Put turkey in the oven. 12 noon Prepare a light meal, soup and salad for family. 1 p.m. Call relative long distance, make sure bathroom has toilet paper, guest towels and soap. 2 p.m. Make last minute items, such as gravy, heat rolls and mashed potatoes, put out butter, Jello salads and other refri- gerated foods you prepared yesterday and the day before. 3 p.m. Sit down to dinner. Take small portions and allow 45 min- utes to eat. Stop eating before you are stuffed. 4 p.m. Have everyone help clear the table and clean up the kitchen. Sip a low calorie drink or put a Mouth Trap on your face if you are inclined to snack on leftovers. 5 p.m. Take a nice long walk with family and guests. Build a snowman or take a ride in the country. 7 p.m. Come home and play cards or a board game or watch Its A Wonderful Life. 10 p.m. Go to bed. Sleep like a baby. 2 a.m. 6 a.m. Wake up refreshed. Weigh yourself. Have a wonderful life! SIDETRACKED SCHEDULE 6 a.m. 7 a.m. 8 a.m. 9 a.m. Leave bed unmade, start meal preparations in pajamas, discover turkey is not totally thawed, skip breakfast. 10 a.m. Polish silver, snack on chips, olives, nuts and dip while blow-drying the turkey. Put it in the oven with a Cornish Game Hen in the hole because you didnt make a stuffing. 11 a.m. Find family room in a mess, start stashing, find tweezers, start watching Its A Wonderful Life on television, pluck a few hairs on your knee caps. Noon Eat more chips and dip, have a beer. Wake up kids, throw a fit over their messy rooms. 1 p.m. Discover you dont have cranberry sauce, throw coat on over pajamas (roll legs up so they dont show) head to Minute Mart. 2 p.m. Call husband to come and get you because you ran out of gas. Eat some of the snacks you bought, while you wait. Race home, take a birdbath, throw some clothes on, yell at the kids for not cleaning their rooms, close the door to yours. 3 p.m. Doorbell rings. Greet guests, have husband entertain while you set the table. 4 p.m. Eat like a pig. Have seconds and thirds, pile on butter, salt heavily, drink several glasses of wine, dont save room for desert but then have it anyway. Tell everyone youll do the dishes later, drag yourself to the living room and crash on the couch. 5 p.m. 6 p.m. 7 p.m. 10 p.m. Head for the Alka Seltzer, hit the bed and toss and turn. 2 a.m. Sneak into the kitchen and fix a turkey sandwich, wash it down with milk straight out to the carton, polish of the last piece of pecan pie you bought at Minute Mart. 9 a.m. Wake up with a splitting headache, weigh yourself and sulk all day.

Dear Pam, Sunny and I enjoyed Anita and Hannahs idea of playing in the housekeeping center, as in kindergarten, but playing with real tools. Sunny also helped me rename the goal areas on the brats progress report card. She likes school and is proud to have homework, because it makes her feel big. So, for example, instead of working on finances, we do math home- work, exercise is P.E. class, diet goals are health class, get- ting organized is Study Skills. Study Skills can be elementary level (writing down assignments and checking them off when done) or kindergarten level (Calendar Time) depending on how mature Sunny is acting at the time! Cooking is Science class, and working on improved relationships is Social Studies. Working on spiritual goals is Sunday School. Right now we are reinforcing the Shiny Sink habit, which has fallen by the wayside lately, and any kindergartener can tell you how much fun it is to play in water and make things shiny! Love, Louisa and Sunny PS Sunny says hi to Nelly. Louisa says hi to Peggy

I understand your mission is teaching us to identify our inner brat and control his or her destructive ways, when needed. With that said, I have to tell you of a recent experience with my Brat, Fliggy! I was having "one of those mornings," where it seemed nothing was going as planned and everything I was accomplishing was getting "undone" by my 1 ½ year old. I decided to give myself a break and pour myself the last cup of coffee in the pot. When I went to get the creamer from the fridge, I had a hundred and ten things flying around in my head. I gave the container a big shake, the way I do each time I use it, and sprayed creamer ALL over myself and my ½ cleaned kitchen. I was one moment from meltdown, and wanted to stomp around, yelling and swearing, when Fliggy popped her personality up and I erupted with laughter. Although I had a GIANT mess to clean up, I gave my brat and myself a little time to just laugh at an unfortunate occurrence. It felt great and put me in a much better mood to deal with the rest of my day. So, heres my lesson; although our brats need to be controlled in most situations in life, sometimes it is important to allow them to help you when you are being too grown-up. So often I see people that have repressed their brat so much that they have taken all the fun out of life and everyday activities. Sometimes instead of just stopping to smell the roses, I think we need to stop and roll down the big grassy hill and encourage our brats in nondestructive ways. Thanks for help- ing me realize that! Happily! Jeanette and Fliggy! We always have a choice of how we will act in these situations and when hit with one like Jeanette had, its so easy to automatically respond with anger. How great to have the self-control and see a better response! One that makes us laugh! Our brats are always there to see the fun side of creamer all over the kitchen. Thank you Jeanette and yay for Fliggy! Love, Pam PS I hope you all are still working on your master suites! I am just about ready to break the news on my new program. Please be ready.

Dear Pam, I really liked the 365 surprise about the revelation that woman had: "loving yourself is not the same thing as indulging yourself." I, too, have recognized the same thing, but I didnt know how to put it into words, and I hadnt recognized that it was my brat speaking. So this really helped. I like the word indulge. I hear the advice that I need to do things for myself, but sometimes its not very satisfying. Ive noticed when I think I "deserve" to spend the day doing what I want, whether its sewing on the quilt Im making or reading a book, I never feel happy and I often get bored. But when I do my routines mixed in with what I like to do, that makes all the difference in the world! Then I feel like I accomplished something. Like yesterday, do you know what I did for myself? I cleaned out the fridge! Ive mostly kept the leftovers thrown out, but there were spills and spots that have been there for a few weeks and were really bugging me. Now theyre gone! Opening my fridge and seeing it clean is as good as going to get my hair done or shopping for new clothes. I guess its kind of like FlyLadys shining sink. Anyway, thanks again for sharing these thoughts, for making me smile each day, and for the overall encouragement. Love, Ellen I loved Ellens email, because shes right, we can know something, but not be able to put it into words, so we dont benefit from the "knowing." I loved that she is getting such a kick out of her clean refrigerator and it is like Flyladys shiny sink! Ellen made me think that since Ive been organized for almost 30 years, I forget what a kick I get from having a clean and organized home! Life is good! Love, Pam

The Mouth Traps have been a big hit, so I asked in a 365 how you were using them. Here are a few I just had to share. I am an operating room nurse, and I have used the Mouth Traps several times to ease tense situations (especially when I need a reminder to quiet "myself" down first before I can deal with anyone or anything else). I just place one right over my surgical mask, and it looks soooooo cute! I have given several of them out to co-workers because they think they are hysterical, and we can always use a good laugh. I just have to remember to take my mask off before going to see my patients! LOL Liz R. I work with a Neurodevelopmentalist (ND for short) who designs therapy programs for children with many types of problems: Downs Syndrome, autism, sensory disorders, and others. One of the big issues for the Downs kids is they breathe through their mouths too much. Parents have to come up with fun ways to get them to practice breathing through their noses (helps keep tongue from thrusting and getting too big among other reasons). I recommended that mom (or whoever is doing therapy with the child that day) put one on and encourage the child to do the same, and see if they can get any other physical therapy done without talking. First one to laugh so hard the mouth trap comes off loses! Many of these kids get squirmy or fussy when their mouths are held shut, but this is a fun way to remind them to breathe through the nose. Even if the child wont wear it at first, mom could put it on and that could be the childs visual cue to "close mouth now." These cuties are therapeutic in more ways than one. LOL. J Vox and Mimi I have thought of your mouth traps frequently. In my humble opinion, I think sending them to a number of the political candidates and those on their campaigns would help them! Of course, the media would not be very happy as theyd have much less to hype and theyd need to cover real news. ;-) Flying in GA To order your set of Mouth Traps click here. The Brat Factory

Dear Pam, I love the Brat Factor e-mails and everything at the Brat Factory. I also recently got my own copy of Sidetracked Home Executives: From Pigpen to Paradise. It is one of my favorite books, and I have quite a few. (My brat, Angie, likes to read and will make the excuse that she needs "me" time.) I wanted to tell you that I think it is no coincidence that you started organizing in 1977, the same year I happened to be born. God knew I needed someone like you, who had gone through CHAOS herself, to help me learn to organize myself. Also, thank you very much for creating the card file system with your sister and for sharing it with us. Many thanks, Elizabeth Hi Elizabeth, Thank you for your kind words! I absolutely love my job. It is so exciting to know our work is helping people just like us. Love, Pam

THE GIRL I USED TO BE She came tonight as I sat alone The girl I used to be. And she gazed at me with her earnest eye And questioned reproachfully: Have you forgotten the many plans And hopes I had for you? The great career, the splendid fame, All the wonderful things to do? Where is the mansion of stately height With all its gardens rare? The silken robes that I dreamed for you And the jewels in your hair? And as she spoke, I was very sad, For I wanted her pleased with me, This slender girl from the shadowy past, The girl that I used to be. So gently rising, I took her hand And guided her up the stairs Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay, Innocent, sweet, and fair. And I told her that these are my only gems, And precious they are to me; That silken robes is my motherhood Of costly simplicity. And my mansion of stately height is love, And the only career I know Is serving each day in these sheltered walls For the dear ones who come and go And as I spoke to my shadowy guest, She smiled through her tears at me. And I saw the woman that I am now Pleased the girl I used to be. - Author unknown

Dont underestimate an ounce, which is the weight of a tablespoon of liquid. If you gained an ounce a day, in a year youd weigh 23 pounds more that you do now.

Last week I posted an email from Anita and her brat Hannah and I received so many wonderful emails in response to it. I decided to re-post Anitas email along with the response that tickled me. "Its so wonderful to be alive! I truly am living out my childhood fantasy: Playing in the housekeeping area with real food, real cars, real vacuums, real children, real make up, real scissors, a real sewing machine, a real two wheeler, a real computer, a real husband, real money, etc. etc. etc. What a journey! When I truly honor the part of me that likes to have fun and pretend, I find that I have more joy than I know what to do with." Love, Anita & Hannah Here is the response from D. I taught kindergarten for many years and the kinders loved playing with the "real" thing. Can you just imagine how happy our "little" brats are, getting to use the grown up tools and do "real" jobs? If we would stop letting the adult part say, "This is work." Work is in the eye of the beholder and most kindergartners would give anything to be "playing" with real scissors, real food, real vacuums, real make-up (oh I can just see them so happy)and REAL money! Kids have fun with play money, but there is something mystical about real money that seems to put them in a trance. They feel soooooooo grown up. Its almost like magic happens when we grow up and get to the "real" part and then we spoil it so often by feeling it is burdensome. I loved this email and it tickled me and made me smile. I just love visualizing my kindergartners getting to use the "real" stuff !!!!!!!!!! D Hi D, Your email reminds me of the title song from Babes in Toyland: "When youve grown up, my dears, And are as old as I, Youll often ponder on the years That roll so swiftly by, my dears, That roll so swiftly by. And all the many lands You will have journeyed through Youll oft recall, The best of all, The land your childhood knew Your childhood knew. Toyland, toyland, Little girl and boy land, While you dwell within it, You are ever happy then. Childhood, joyland, Mystic merry toyland, Once you pass its borders, You can neer return again. I have always loved that song and it has been instrumental in my on-going mission to play and be child-like. Mystic, merry Toyland; we may pass its borders when we grow up, but we can return again just as Anita is doing.

Attention all night owls! (Its really your inner brat in a big owl costume. Hoo Hoo!) If you stay up way too late playing on the computer, and then you are cranky the next day and have no energy to keep your home clean, cozy and peaceful, we have a sleeping pill for your computer! Thats right! Just install the software, designate night, night time, choose a lullaby or a good night message from Pam, Flylady or Drill Sergeant Dennis and FINALLY start getting a good nights sleep. The Sleeping Pill is $5. What a price to pay for rest! In The Sidetracked Sisters Happiness File we wrote: The need for a good nights rest goes back as far as recorded history. Take Napoleon, for example; histor- ians say his basic problems throughout life stemmed from his size, but we dont think thats true. If some- one were to find some of Napoleons old grade school report cards, were sure it would be our fatigue theory that would be borne out instead. Eiffel Elementary School 7312 Rue des Hors dOeuvres Paris, France 10046 Dear Mr. And Mrs. Bonaparte: I think you are probably aware of some of the problems we are having with Napoleon at school. I believe they began early in the year when some of the other boys teased him about his size. I have spoken to the other children and their parents about the importance of being kind to those who are different. However, I dont believe that the teasing is the main reason for your sons troubles. I think Napoleon needs more sleep. During class I often see his head on his desk, and although he stays on task and has no problem understanding the work, he is often listless and irritable. Perhaps you, as his parents, could see to it that your son gets to bed at a rea- sonable hour so that he will be able to cope better in class and on the playground. Sincerely, Morrie Chevalier P.S. Napoleon is a good leader and when he gets the other boys on his side he is able to make them do whatever he wants. (Good or bad.) I truly believe that more sleep will help him to blossom into a fine citizen. Perhaps this summer you can establish a routine bedtime for him. Have a good vacation, Leon! Think of how the course of history might have been altered if the Bonapartes had heeded Mr. Chevaliers advice. The Sleeping Pill for your computer can alter history! Purchase it, install it and start getting the rest you de- serve! The Brat Factory

I loved this email! I had an experience this past summer I want to share with you! My wonderful mother-in-law gave me a fabulous gift for Christmas. It was a gift certificate for a clean- ing crew to spend 2 hours cleaning my house. Just the thought of it excited me. Someone else coming to clean my toilets, lug the vacuum around, and scrub my floors! The expiration date was coming near when my dear aunt passed away and I offered to host the funeral dinner. I thought it was a perfect time to use my gift certificate. The only problem I met was that with all the clutter I had in my house, the cleaners were not going to get to every nook and cranny I dreamed of them cleaning. It took a full 18 hours as other family members took care of my kids, and my husband and I de- cluttered. I couldn’t believe what had been hidden for so long! We filled a pick-up with items for a local charity! When that cleaning crew came I felt so proud of what I had accomplished. I have to admit, I still have my problem spots, but for the most part, the clutter has been much better. Also, I anxiously await this year’s Christmas gift that became more than just a cleaning of my house. It was a LOAD off my mind as well! Jeanette & her little Brat Fliggy! Dear Jeanette and Fliggy, Thank you for sharing your de-cluttering story. I have always said, "You cant clean if you dont have surfaces." Love, Pam

The Clarence Principle Ive had too many of you ask how to find the Clarence Principle on my website. So Im re-sending it. Ive been working on a concept I call the Clarence Principle. Remember Clarence in Its a Wonderful Life? George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) was going to jump off the bridge and Clarence his angel had the idea to fake downing so George would forget about himself and his problems and focus on someone out- side himself who was in trouble and needed him. Thats what Im calling my Clarence Principle. When we get our focus off of our own problems, we suddenly have energy and enthusiasm to help those who need our energy and love. The Clarence Principle is primarily for parents with children of all ages to include adult children. Once we are parents we have a solemn duty to be good examples to our children and that example does not stop when our children grow up. (I want to be the best example of a 63-year-old mother I can be to my adult children. That means giving them the gift of my happiness, health, independence and my ability to be organized so they wont have an estate nightmare.) Those of you who are busy raising your children, your responsibility is to be the best example you can be in how you keep your home, in what you eat, in how active you are and how kind you are. Think of the children. Get organized for them, get exercise for them, eat right for them, be kind for them. I promise youll get your wings! I have suggested you spend 15 minutes de-junking your "master suit" every day in preparation for my new program and also because I have learned from being in 49 "master suites" across the country (winners of Project CHAOS Cant Have Anyone Over Syndrome Contests) that room is the most neglected room in the house. Thats because its a "per- sonal" room. You dont generally let the public into your bedroom, so its the place you stash stuff. Its also the general vicinity you get undressed and if you dont have a sensible evening routine, you strip and crash. The strip and crash routine (and it is a routine if you do it regularly) causes strip and crash buildup. The master suite was meant to be a peaceful, beautiful space to enjoy marital bliss and a good nights sleep. Does your master suite reflect the status of your marriage? Is your master suite a fabulous example to your children on how to keep their rooms? You cant tell your kids to make their beds if youre still in yours. My new surprise program will be ready just in time for Christmas, but will you be ready? Get your bedroom in order. Thats an order!

Dear Pam, Okay, Im really looking forward to this Clarence Principle. Ill start with the 15 minutes of de-junking in the bedroom. De-cluttering is already part of my daily task but my bed- room is a mess, including the closet and the storage room behind it (attic space). I love everything youre doing for us and I am also thinking hard about the 3x5 cardfile system and what it might do for me, someone who also falls off her lists too regularly. By the way, Its a Wonderful Life is one of my favorite movies. All the best, Laura in Indiana

It has been nine months since we launched The Brat Factor. Thats how long it takes God to make a baby! For all of you extraordinary people who have stayed with me (18,000 +) I want you to know you are exceptional. Going within, be- coming aware of self-defeating behavior and doing something positive about it is not for the weak at heart. It takes real guts to give an honest self-appraisal and then do the work after the light bulb goes on. Thats what you are doing and it is just fantastic. Thank you for the love and joy you bring to me each day in emails that reflect your wisdom and success at harnessing your adorable and immature inner brat. My mission since 1977 has been to help the chronically dis- organized find peace, joy, love, beauty and order in the most important place on earth; home. I told you I have a surprise program coming out after the first of the year, but due to the deluge of emails wanting it sooner, weve turned up the heat! The surprise program will be available just in time for Christmas!! Until announcement time remember the Clarence Principle and work on YOUR bedroom. See the November 1, 365 surprise in the archives on the Reform School Island on our website www.thebratfactor.com if you dont know what the Clarence Principle is.

Dear Pam and Nelly, THANK YOU for that message yesterday! I love the words to the traditional hymn: "Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free, Tis a gift to come round where we ought to be, And when we find ourselves in a place just right Twill be in the valley of love and delight When true simplicity is gained, To bow and to bend we wont be ashamed To turn, turn, will be our delight Till by turning, turning we come round right." It seems like so many of my days with four children are spent running in circles. Dirty clothes, clean clothes, meals to prepare, dishes to wash, and get ready for bed, and repeat the circle tomorrow. But in loving what I must do because I LOVE the people I am serving, I find peace in the middle of it all. Thanks for the challenge to simplify and glorify God in the mundane (I prefer the word simple!) and to be, as the apost